For blog #5 (due April 4, before class), we will be examining the ways in which the government comes to regulate the family. On March 19th, we will have guest speaker Dr. Brian Frank, a member of the Lambda Family Circle, a social organization for gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender families in the Capitol Region. He will talk about the ways in which GLBT families are affected by the state, including adoption, marriage, and health insurance regulations. In particular, he will discuss his personal story of foster care and adoption. On Wednesday, March 21, we will attend the lecture by Sassafras Lowrey at 4pm in RB 202. In the United States, 40% of homeless youth identify as GLBT. Sassafras Lowrey will discuss how their parents often kicked them out after discovering their sexual orientation. On Wednesday, March 28, we will have guest speaker Dacey Bonney, from the Unity House, discussing the cycle of domestic violence and state intervention. On April 2nd, we will watch the documentary War on the Family, which presents the experiences of mothers who were incarcerated. For the blog posting, please discuss two different ways in which the state enforces certain types of family structures. Be sure to cite at least two of the assigned articles and some of the guest speakers or documentary. The articles include:
- Textbook: Stacey, Gay and Lesbian Families, p. 496-518
- Risman: Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships, 435-447
- Textbook: Travis, Prisoners’ Families and Children, p. 519-536
Sociology of the Family 
After reading the article “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us” I realized that our government does indeed regulate the rights of gay/lesbian family structures, and their ability to adopt and raise children of their own. Judith Stacey went on to explain, “On May 8, 1996, gay marriages galloped onto the nation’s center political stage when Republicans introduced the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) to define marriage in exclusively heterosexual terms as ‘a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife’.” (503) This law directly defined marriage as being completely heterosexual and our government made this the lawful definition of marriage. I think that by having the government make this definition, they totally took away the rights of gay/lesbian couples. This created a government regulated family structure in which only heterosexual couples were able to marry and start a family. In recent years we have had some states legalize gay marriage, however they are in the minority. By having the government control marriage, they also strictly control the adoption process for gay and lesbian couples. Dr. Brian Frank came in and spoke about his experience in trying to adopt a child with his partner through the State of New York. Dr. Frank told us a few ironic things about the operation of our state’s adoption policies and one of the most interesting pieces I found was that, “you have to be married in New York State to adopt children jointly, however gays/lesbians cannot get married in New York State.” (Speaker) Dr. Frank’s story occurred before gay marriage was considered lawful in the State of New York, but I could not believe that while two people were only trying to start a family and raise a child, their right to that was being totally dismissed. He also touched upon the hectic and never-ending process of receiving a child-bearing license. I cannot say that I totally support gay marriage and the right for gay/lesbian couples to adopt and raise children, however I think giving the right to a gay or lesbian couple to raise a child is a much better situation than having that child shuttled from one foster family to another. If a heterosexual couple abandons a child then why should people think that another heterosexual family would be a better solution than a homosexual couple? There is still much debate on the issue of gay marriage and the rights to raising children and clearly the government is in control of much of these rights to equality.
The article entitled “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships” dealt with a new therapeutic model for examining and treating victims and perpetrators of domestic violence. I came across an interesting fact stating, “Most states now mandate the perpetrators of domestic violence go through treatment programs, and there are certified specialists who offer these services in partnership with battered women’s organizations.” (442) This stuck out to me as a way that the government, by way of the criminal justice system, is trying to control those who commit domestic violence by sentencing them to complete a treatment program. However, this does not seem to engage many of the people from marginalized communities who do not seek help through the criminal justice system. In a sense this program is a way the government provides therapy for those involved in this type of abuse, however the majority of the people that this system helps are those from established communities who are not afraid of the possible repercussions of a state funded criminal justice program. By having this program setup as a court mandate, you automatically project the victims or perpetrators as those who are from a poor community and label them with a stereotype as being irresponsible parental figures at home due to these domestic incidents. One of the guest speakers, Dacey Bonney from Unity House, came in to discuss some important facts in regards to domestic violence and the programs that our state has setup to aid its vulnerable victims. In particular the New York State Coalition Against Domestic Violence is a non-profit organization that works to abolish domestic violence via education, community volunteers and technical support. I think that this type of organization is definitely beneficial to those who are victims of domestic violence, especially women and children. I think in a sense this organization—through the support of New York State—works to create a family structure in which there is non-violence and a stable atmosphere especially if there are children involved in the case. Bonney pointed out that, “85% of reported victims of domestic violence are females, which equals out to about 1 in every 4 women who will experience domestic violence in their lifetime.” (Speaker) This was quite a shock to me because I did not realize this much domestic violence occurred in our society. However, Unity House seems to be a phenomenal resource in the capital region for any victim of domestic violence, whether it is emotional, verbal, physical, psychological, etc. They offer a lot of emotional and financial support for any victim seeking help. In addition to Unity House, there is a program called the Center Against Domestic Violence, located in Brooklyn, NY. This program offers assistance to NYC residents who were victims of domestic violence. This was the first program in New York State to take in 2 male victims of domestic violence. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeT_UuJX7Ek&feature=related
Works Cited
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447.
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
In society today, the state has different ways of regulating what types of families can exist and not exist. Different types of people change how the state or the community looks at a certain family. Two types of these groups include people associated in the LGBTQ spectrum and people who are criminals who have been incarcerated. The state does a lot to keep these families in order or sometimes even non-existent. These types of families suffer from stereotypes and judging communities, which make it that much harder to have successful families.
When Dr. Brian Frank came to speak, he explained the hardships of trying to adopt a child while being part of the gay community. The state makes it harder for families with gay parents to occur because they believe that having gay parents would not be a conducive living environment for a child. He explained how him and his partner had to take tests, get background checks, and get fingerprinted to even be considered as father material. Sometimes they would have to wait for months at a time just to be able to foster a child and then they would always have to give the children back except for one who they were able to adopt after the child was with them for some time. In the article “Gay and Lesbian Families”, it explains, “Homophobia is a matter of passion, politics, and prejudice, not logic.” (Stacey, 505) This statement shows that the author believes that people are just focused on their beliefs and not common sense that gays are just as capable of having a family.
Another family type are the one parent families that one parent is in jail. This is starting to occur more and more in today’s society. There are over 1.5 million people in jail right now that are a parent, which is leaving kids with either one of their parents or possibly grandparents. (Travis, 519) This is explained in “Prisoners’ Families and Children” by explaining on a graph where children of incarcerated parents end up once their parent is in jail. It shows that when a mother is incarcerated, the kid is more likely to live with their grandparent instead of father but when the father is incarcerated the kid usually stays with the mother. This could be because portions of the fathers in jail are there for domestic violence on their wife or even child abuse. When Dacey Bonney came to talk about domestic violence in families, with some of the stories she told it sounded like the men could have gone to jail. This has a huge impact on families, especially economically.
I personally believe that the way society looks on families and gender roles in a family need to change. I find it horrible that people are more willing to let a family with an incarcerated family is more respected and acknowledged than a family with two fathers or two mothers. It is something society needs to step back and take a look at. Fifty percent of marriages end in a divorce, which shows straight relationships do not work so why can’t gay marriage have a chance.
I chose this video because it shows the challenges and joys of a gay couple and the family they were able to raise.
Works Cited:
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-533.
Kara Battaglia
Sociology of the Family Blog #5
The state enforces certain types of family structures in ways that I was unaware of prior to reading the assigned articles and listening to guest speakers. The articles, “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships,” by Rhea V. Almeida, and “Prisoners’ Families and Children,” by Jeremy Travis discuss how the state impacts families in regard to domestic violence and incarceration.
Domestic violence is a very prevalent issue in today’s society. Dacey Bonney, the guest speaker from the Unity House, spoke about how common domestic violence is. She said about 1 in every 4 women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Therefore, it is very important that the government makes efforts to stop domestic violence and protect the victims. The article, “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships,” discusses the issue of domestic violence and offers a new paradigm for helping families of domestic violence to heal. It says, “Domestic violence continues to be a crushing problem for families, although over the past decade things have gotten considerably better. The Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that rates of family violence in this country have dropped by more than half since 1993. Much of this decline is due to the efforts of people quietly working in the field, including social workers, staff at women’s crisis centers, police forces, and prosecutors. The passage of the Violence Against Women Act in 1994, and amendments to it in 1998 and 2006 also played a part” (Almeida 436). This quote shows how efforts by the government have helped protect women from domestic violence Today, the government has made great efforts in helping women of domestic violence. Almeida says, “The mainstream domestic violence movement has made enormous gains in legally securing protection for battered women and changing the social climate in favor of rights for battered women. Most states now mandate that perpetrators of domestic violence go through treatment programs, and there are certified specialists who offer these services in partnership with battered women’s organizations” (Almeida, 442). The author does point out, however, that victims and perpetrators from socially marginalized communities are more likely to avoid the criminal justice system. This is why it is important to discuss social justice values and create families governed by these values in order to stop domestic violence from occurring in the first place. The government has done a good job at aiming to protect women and punish perpetrators of domestic violence though. This affects the family structure as a whole, because the government helps to protect the mothers and children while punishing the men so hopefully they will not commit domestic violence in the future.
The government also shapes families in regard to incarceration. In “Prisoner’s Families and Children,” Jeremy Travis says that prisons separate prisoners from their families, and that imprisonment greatly impacts family networks (519). He says that far more men than women are sent to prison each year, so our criminal justice policies have created a “‘gender imbalance,’ a disparity in the number of available single men and women in many communities” (520). The results of this are an increase in female headed households and narrowed roles for men in families. The article also discusses other effects of incarceration on families. It says that one consequence is that families have fewer financial resources. Children usually go to live with family members or grandparents when a parent is incarcerated, but sometimes the children must be placed in foster care. Siblings sometimes get separated from each other during this time. The parent-child relationship is also greatly affected. Travis says that separation is usually hard on the children because of distance. He says, “62 percent of prisoners are in facilities more than 100 miles away from their homes” (Travis). This distance inhibits families from making frequent visits and also puts even more of a financial burden on some families. When families do get to visit the prisoner, there are many restrictions, and even phone contact is regulated. All of these government regulations about incarceration greatly impact the family structure. Travis says, however, that some communities have implemented policies to overcome barriers of distance, cost, and other practices that reduce contact between prisoners and their families (Travis, 530). Hopefully more changes to the system can be made so that children have an easier time maintaining a relationship with an incarcerated parent. I found a YouTube video that emphasizes how many prisoners have children and how many children have a parent in prison. It gives a number at the end that you can call if you want to help out the children with incarcerated parents.
Works Cited
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-533.
(My last paragraphs got cut off while copying and pasting from microsoft word) Dr. Brian Frank also spoke to our class about how the state can regulate families. He spoke about how the state affects the adoption process, specifically when gays and lesbians are trying to adopt. For instance, in New York, you have to be married to jointly adopt. However, gay marriage was not legal while he and his partner adopted their son, so they had to do two separate adoptions. This was a long process and there was a period of time while Dr. Brian Frank was not a legal guardian of their son, which has many implications. Now, thankfully, both Frank and his partner are officially the parents of their adopted son, but the state was responsible for how long and arduous the process was.
Cleary the government greatly impacts many aspects of family life. It can have both positive and negative effects. The government has made much positive progress in helping victims of domestic violence, as well as punishing the perpetrators. However, the government also has many regulations that make maintaining a relationship with an incarcerated family member difficult. Because of laws regarding gay marriage and adoption, the government also affects gay and lesbian families. In my opinion, this is very sad because I believe gays and lesbians would be just as good at parenting as heterosexuals.
Maren Serafine
Sociology of the Family
Blog # 5
Within today’s society, there is very little that is not controlled in some way, shape or form by the government. The government has some part in every single thing we do, from our individual actions, media, money, and much more. What many people do not realize is that the government controls the relationships we have and the ways we form and progress these relationships in many ways- especially when someone is in a gay or lesbian relationship! After reading the article “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us” by Judith Stacey, and listening to a Brian Frank, a man who truly dealt with this first hand, I became extremely aware of the fact that the government controls a lot more than we think they do, especially within the foster care system when it comes to gay and lesbian parents with hopes of adopting. Within a society that once considered homosexuality a “disease” and a major problem, government pushes the idea that marriage and families should be structured around heterosexuality. Yet, as we all know, life has become much different and today, many people are not ashamed of their sexual preference and society seems to be much more accepting of those who are gay or lesbian. In Judith Stacey’s piece, she states that “the notion of a gay or lesbian family is decidedly a late twentieth-century development, and several particular forms of gay and lesbian families were literally “inconcievable” prior to recent developments in reproductive technology” (497). Yet, as time has now changed, the options for those who cannot concieve have increased immensely, although there are still many struggles faced. For those who are looking into adoption, government still has the ability to make a stand against it. “Several states expressly prohibit adoptions and/or foster care by lesbians and gay men, and many states and adoption agencies actively discriminate against them” states Stacey, showing how gay and lesbian couples still struggle to create a family even in a society that has become more understanding of their sexual preferences. These words of Stacey can be paralleled with Brian Frank’s real-life example, as he and his partner Steven tried to adopt a child. These men were aware that within the foster care system in New York, that the only way that they would be able to acceptably adopt a child as a gay couple would be to get a “garbage kid.” This meant that it was a child that was not the prime age, appearance, status and health. Frank discussed the fact that in order to become a foster parent, both him and his partner had to get a license. Through this process, they had to “give all addresses in the past years, have a criminal background check, a home study, profiles filled out, undergo training courses, get fingerprinted and other minute steps in order to earn the right to be a parent” states Frank. He discusses how for a gay foster parent, parenting is “not an inherited right, but it is an earned right.” This idea shows how the government has the ability to regulate who becomes parents, especially in a gay and lesbian couple. If certain steps do not match up correctly, these couples can lose their only option of having a child!
We can also see the government’s regulation of families in the article named “Prisoner’s Families and Children.” Within this article, we learn that “1 in 45 children had a parent in prison” (520). Although these parents are clearly breaking the law for one reason or another, by enforcing the laws, the parents are breaking apart the traditional family structure and leading to numerous issues within the family. The governmental control has created a “gender imbalance” within the societies of those with incarcerated men and women. I think that although the government is doing what they need to do in order to protect our citizens, that they are also deteriorating families. I think that there need to be better ways to have children get to know their parents in jail, rather than just through letters and speaking through a wall.
I think that most importantly, the control the government has over gay and lesbian couples and families is crazy! A young girl can get pregnant without even trying, and may not be in the position financially, physically or mentally to have a child, yet they are capable to do so. Yet, two grown men who love each other and love children may be denied the right to get a foster child because of something that doesn’t “seem right” or that the government doesn’t agree with. Think of all the children in foster care who are going from foster home to foster home who could be loved by two parents who are so eager for a child to love. I think that the government regulations should be much less in the idea of families and especially in the lives of gay and lesbian couples who are trying to start a family!
This youtube link shows how the government and other agencies can control the fact that gays and lesbians cannot adopt. This seems absolutely ridiculous as companies have the ability to turn away couples that are worthy and able to care for a child in need of love!
Works Cited:
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBTQ Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena
College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-533.
Blob #5- Question: What is Unfairness? Answer: Government Regulations on Certain Family Structures
Through the use of current literature, lectures, and the media, it is inevitable that the ways in which the government regulates the family has negative impacts on many family structures, in particular, LGBTQ families. It is important to understand that many individuals are affected by the way in which the governments put limitations, set up laws that create boundaries, and attempt to control a complex, ever-growing social institution—the family. The state controls/enforces specific family structures a number of ways, by restricting who can adopt in addition to separating families by using prisons.
The YouTube video below demonstrates how LGBTQ individuals create their own families as do heterosexual individuals. It emphasizes the difficulties that two couples (Terry and Tamiko and Ray and Rodney) face in raising their children without them being married. The most resonating part of the video that touched me was that these individuals fear the reactions of their young children when they grow up and notice that their parents are not married because the state they live in does not allow them to. However, the clip was uploaded in 2009. Many things have changed and movements have aroused to increase the awareness of LGBTQ families, but the difficulties, struggles, and unfortunate circumstances these couples face are parallel to the difficulties LGBTQ parents’ face that still cannot marry today.
Below is a brief, introductory version to the above video. This short, 47 second video, demonstrates how Terry and Tamiko find it frustrating that here they are, with two children, and politically, the children are only Tamiko’s not Terry’s. It alludes to an important organization in Maine that works towards the equality of LGBTQ marriages—towards creating a voice, movement, and new life for LGBTQ families.
After having heard the lecture by Dr. Brian Frank, a member of the Lambda Family Circle, I became interested in how other states, other than New York, enforce a certain type of family that does not consist of LGBTQ parents, nonetheless, married one. Dr. Brian Frank discussed the many ways in which he and his partner faced various struggles, isolation, different attitudes and discrimination to their sexual orientation and their desire to adopt children (Dr. Frank, Lecture on March 19, 2012). This guest speaker also described to us the limitations he was faced with, partially the government’s limitations on not being able to adopt in the beginning, and then the “type of children” he would be able to adopt—garbage children. A garbage child is defined as an older child, who may have a disability, who is not of the desired color, and whose sex may very likely be male. Fortunately, Dr. Brian Frank and his partner wanted to adopt a garbage child for a number of reasons that I found appalling and inspiring. When Dr. Frank was able to adopt, the restrictions and interrogations he faced were, I believe, interfering with his freedom. “Needing a license, going through a criminal background check, a home study, and even training courses” in order to adopt a child and become a foster parent was very difficult for this couple; all of these steps mandated by the New York State government (Dr. Frank, Lecture on March 19, 2012). The one thing that will remain with me for a long period of time that Dr. Frank shared with the class during his lecture was not parenting is “not an inherited right, but an earned right” for a gay foster parent.
Related to Dr. Frank’s lecture on Gay Families, the article titled “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us” by Judith Stacey, discusses the ways in which the government, OUR government, regulates the rights of non-heterosexual family members and structures. This article also notes how the government does not see how LGBTQ families have the ability to adopt and raise children—they are limited, restricted and deemed unable to do it. It describes how, “gay marriages galloped onto the nation’s center political stage when Republicans introduced the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) to define marriage in exclusively heterosexual terms as ‘a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife’” (Stacey, 503). Limiting the population who can get married, the law reinvented marriage. Not only are the freedoms, rights and liberties and gay and lesbian families being decreased, but these individuals are not being granted their rights as citizens of the United States. Their dream, possible the American Dream, will probably never be reached because they are unable to marriage till this day. I believe that some improvement has been made in the rights to marry for LGBTQ; however, I can see myself advocating more for these issues as my involvement in the Social Work profession grows.
Aside from the restrictions that LGBTQ families face, prison families experience a plethora of difficulties and limitations enforced by the government. Jeremy Travis’s article titled “Prisoners’ Families and Children” highlights the ways in which incarcerated parents have a strong correlation with the decrease in family structure. There are many families that now consist of one parent because the other parent is incarcerated. Almost two million parents (1.5) are incarcerated, causing for more children to be either parent-less or forced to live with other kin (Travis, 519). Not only do prisons separate families, but it also creates a “gender imbalance: a disparity in the number of available single men and women in many communities” (Travis, 520). This happens to cause many changing family forms, an increase in female households, and a decrease in the role of men in the families. The way in which the government has a great influence on the way in which families are separated through prisons, creates for financial difficulties, strains on families because of incarceration and increased ASFA (Adoption and Safe Families Act) and foster care placements for families—giving more power to the government and decreasing families structures (Travis, 530-31).
This segment of the course opened up an array of interests for me. Being a Social Work major here at Siena College enables me to further comprehend the issues that surround the family. Information that I obtained via the articles and lectures have inhibited in me and increased desire to learn about these issues, and in particularly, learn about the government’s involvement.
Erin Curran
Blog #5
Before reading the article from the text, I never really knew just how much government regulates family structures. They have a very tight leash on who can have kids and who can not. Two type of groups that are family regualted are gay/lesbian families and those who are incarcerated.
When parents of a child get put into prison they lose much of the contact with that child if not all. This is not to say those who are in prison should not be because they have families it is to just show the different ways in which those who are in prison are family regulated. When reading the article Prisoners Familes and Childern by JeremyTravis I realzied in just how many ways families of incarceration are indeed regualted. One way in which these families are regualted is the georgphy. Prisoners don’t always get located close to families, which could result in a prisoner not even seeing their child. “Geographic distnace inhibits families from amking visits, and for those who make the effort, imposes an additional fincial burden on already strained family budgets.” (530) In my opinion I personally would not want to expose my child to aplace like prison and this could be a cause of why “more than half of all mothers, and 57% of all fathers, never receive a personal visit from their childern while in prison.” (530) Prisons also regualte who gets to come visit the incarcetarted. While a minor under 18 may visit an inmate there are more details rules that go along with that. If the child id not legally your child, step child, grandchild or sibling they may not come visit you. There are parents who may have raised a child, but not legally been their step parent and now in incarcetration they have lost that right to see the child they have raised as their own. Childern may also only allowed to visit a prisoner is accompanied by an immediate family member or the prisoner or immediate family member/ legal gurdian of the child. According to the reading many prisoners childern are left to extended family networks, for example boyfriends or girlfriends. If a prisoner had no immediate family in their life they don’t see their childern. Below is a link to a video that describes a community service project that puts together writing kits for childern of incarcerated parents. This can make it easiert o keep the communication between the family, since childern do not always get to see or speak with their parents.
Another family dynamic that has been greatly regualted is gay/lesbian families. Throughout history it has been a long struggle for gay/lesbian families to keep their families together and to even start families. The process of adopation is a very long hard tedious process, for gay.lesbian familes it is even that much harder. Dr. Brian Frank came and spoke to out class and talked about his struggle with adpotion. One instance he has sopke of was when he fostering two boys whose previous foster parent did not want to adopt them. Once the previous family had heard Frank was involved in a gay relationship they decided they wanted to adopt the childern after all. Later down the road the childern ended up back in the foster care system due to the close mindness of their adopted family. When his family finally did get the opportunity to adopt it could have been a very long process if it wasnt for the judge on their case. Because Frank and his partner are gay they are not allowed to adopt a child together. In this case one person would go through the aoption process, then when that was over the next person would start the process. Frank explained to us that if he had gone first and then something had happened to him, his partner would have no rights to their son. I think that if parents are loving, and good people to be parents everyone and anyone should have the right to be parents and the process should not be different just because the couple is gay or lesbian.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-533.
Brian Frank. Guest Speaker.
Gabrielle Mazzucco
The Family
Blog #5
MW 3:40-5
It is always interesting to me to learn about the regulations of gay marriage. Learning about the restrictions that gay and lesbian couples face every day is sad and frustrating. Restrictions on gay and lesbian relationships go much deeper than just being able to get married. What most people do not realize is that even though, in some states, gay couples are allowed to get married, if they travelled to another state, their marriage would not be recognized. Aside from marriage, gay and lesbian couples have a much harder time with being able to become a parent.
Dr. Brian Frank shared his story of becoming a parent with our class. The story was very sad but eye-opening at the same time. Being a foster parent seems like something only the strong willed are meant to do. Having a child dropped off at your house with barely any notice, becoming attached to that child, then, on the drop of a dime, the child is gone. From what Dr. Frank had shared with us, this had happened to him many times. To turn the foster child to an adopted child, took a lot of effort, especially for a gay couple. Dr. Frank shared that being an adoptive parent was not an inherent right but an earned one. For him and his partner, they earned their right to be parents.
New York is proudly one of the more progressive states and has adopted the right for gay marriage. Many people believe that growing up with gay parents will give you a higher chance of being gay or having mental health problems. According to the article Gay and Lesbian Families, a child who was in the home of gay foster parent’s committed suicide after learning that the state of Iowa might take him away from his gay foster parents. The government trying to regulate the rights of loving families for the sole reason that they are gay is discrimination. Would you take a foster child out of a loving household if the parents were heterosexual? No. So, why does it matter if the parents are gay?
“One of the most prevalent myths is that children of gay parents will themselves grow up
gay; another that daughters will be more masculine and sons more feminine than
‘normal’ children. A number of researchers have concluded that the sexual orientations/preferences of children of gay or lesbian parents do not differ from those whose parents are heterosexual (Stacey, 508).”
This Youtube clip shows a young man, who was raised by two women, talking about his experiences growing up and how they were not any different than anyone else’s child hood. He certainly did not appear “More feminine than ‘normal’ children.”
Gay and lesbian families deserve the same rights as everyone in this country. Seperation of church and state was put in place for a reason. People technically should not be able to let their religious views influence if whether two people who are in love are allowed to get married or not. Equal rights for gays and lesbians are not something that will happen overnight but it is something that can be foreseen in the future.
References:
Guest speaker Dr. Brian Frank
Stacy, Judith. Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us. 496-518
Whether you are a liberal or a conservative, it is an undeniable fact that the government has reached our homes in a way that enforces certain family structures. A great example of this is the law passed that stated marriage was strictly between a man and a woman. (Defense of marriage act)(Stacey, 502-503) This has a direct effect on the structure of gay/lesbian family or couple. Not only did the government define marriage, they openly discriminated against gays/lesbians. So now arises a question, In the land of the free, who is the government to decide what is marriage? This question is being challenged and slowly, states in America are starting to acknowledge that gays/lesbians have unalienable rights, the same rights as heterosexuals. Recently our state of New York legalized gay marriage, but that still doesn’t solve the problems at hand. These problems are: gay marriage is not federally legal, and why should the government decide that gay marriage is legal/illegal in the first place. Listening to Dr. Brian Frank made me think differently on this issue. What is stopping many children without parents and a good home from living a much better life with gay/lesbian parents? The answer can be many things, whether it is politics, beliefs, and/or bigotry, but in reality, since we have given the government so much power, they are what is standing in the way. Once again, the government is affecting family structure. After listening to Sassafrass Lowry speak, I got to hear about another instance where the government has affected family structure. All over America, kids are growing up in terrible situations. 40% of homeless youth identifies as GLBT, and that is often the reason for their homelessness. Their own parents kicked them out because of who they are. That makes sense doesn’t it… Make it almost impossible for gay/lesbian couples to adopt children and give them a better chance for success in life but do nothing about the heterosexual parents that are ruining their own children’s lives because of their sexuality. Again, we see the government affecting family structure, and sometimes the worst thing that they can do is nothing, which it seems in this case, that is what they are doing. Although the government may be enforcing family structure in negative ways, I did find one good thing in the article, “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships” that the government had something to do with. Rates of family violence have dropped by more than half since 1993 because of efforts of people in the field and the Violence Against Women Act that was passed in 1994.( Almeida, 435-436). This is a case where the government worked with people that saw a need for change and followed through by helping protect women from their partners. Personally, I feel that the government is not doing enough where they should be implementing their power and is doing the wrong things in the areas where they are showing their influence. I also believe that government has too much power when it comes to your personal life. Hopefully we will elect leaders that allow a free, democratic society to operate the way that it is meant too.
Additional Information:
Works Cited:
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Blog #5
According to our speaker last week, Dacey Bonney, from the Unity House, stated that 85 percent of people that report of any sort of abuse in a relationship are women. Domestic violence in the United States is a serious sociology issue that affects many relationships. With one in four women being apart of domestic violence, it is highly important for the government to take action in preventing this issue. Bonney stated that the first type of domestic violence to appear in any sort of relationship is emotional. Other tactics of domestic violence according to the article Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships by Rhea V. Almeida, are physical, economic, threats and intimidation, isolation, sexual, and control and abuse of children. With mainstream domestic violence movement going on, there have been a lot of efforts to change the life of battered women. “Most states now mandate the perpetrators of domestic violence go through treatment programs, and there are certified specialist who offer these services in partnership with battered women’s organizations (Almeida 442.)” Also, some positive efforts show the Bureau of Justice Statistics states that there has been a decline by more than half since 1993 (Almeida 437). “Much of this decline is due to the efforts of people quietly working in the field, including social workers, staff at women’s crisis centers, police forces, and prosecutors (Almeida 437). This shows that there are great efforts being made to prevent this type of horrible violence. No one should have to be stuck in a relationship where they are not valuable to the full extent. Bonney said it can be extremely difficult for anyone to get out of a abusive relationship because usually the man knows the woman’s insecurities and weaknesses and uses them to his advantages. Another issue that the government influences the family is in regards to parents who are incarcerated. In the article “Prisoners’ Families and Children” by Jeremy Travis examines the impact of incarceration on families. “The number if children who had a parent in prison also increased by half-from 1 million to 1.5 million (Travis 519).” Most problems that these families face are financial resources and parent-child relationships. In 1997, Congress approved the Adoption and Safe Families Act to improve the well-being and protection of children in the foster system or who have to be removed from their homes (Travis 525). With these children being forced to leave their homes and their parents most likely ending up incarcerated. It is not far for these children to live such a unhealthy environment as well as being moved from one home to another. “Because the average length of time served for prisoners released in 1997 was 28 months, the short timelines set forth in ASFA establish a legal predicate that could lead to increase in the termination of parental rights for parents in prisons (Travis 526).” The government is trying to build a system that is appropriate for these children who are helpless and have to face the consequences of their parent’s actions. These types of ways the state enforces these family structure can be helpful for these families that are not always healthy and safe. This YouTube video shows the life that women go through when trying to deal with and escape from a domestic violence. When our speaker, Dacey Bonney, mentioned the Unity House she worked at, this documentary shows the safety that these places provide for women dealing with domestic violence.
Work Cited:
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-533.
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Elora Benfer
Blog #5
In this blog I will be talking about how state enforces certain types of family structures. The first type of family structure I believe they enforce is making it extremely difficult for GLBTQ families to adopt. This was shown by Dr. Brian Frank’s real life example of how difficulty adopting children was even for a perfectly healthy man that could be a great loving father. He explained to us the long and tiring process he as a gay man had to go through with his partner to try to adopt a child and even if they were allowed to get a child, it would be a hard to place child. Even though this doesn’t seem fair, this is was GLBTQ people have to go through. In the article, “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us,” it states “Such Gay Parents were the first to level a public challenge against the reigning cultural presumption that the two terms, “gay” and “parent” are antithetical.” (Stacy 498)The gay couples had an extremely hard time going against social norms and proving that they could raise a family even as gays. Secondly, Dacey Bonney talked about the hardships women in domestic violence relationships have to go through. In a handout she gave to us it says that some of the challenges that these women go through because of the state are “victims are being denied shelter services because of a lack of resources. In 2006, 10,131 adults and 12,076 children were turned away from shelters due to lack of space.” (Domestic 1) Also, “shelters frequently do not have the funding to hire disability-trained staff. In 2006, 518 victims in New York City and 343 victims in the remainder of the state were denied access to shelter because of special needs that could not be met.” (Domestic 1) Clearly, if the state put in more money and time into helping women of domestic violence relationships the rate of the violence would decrease. Both Dacey Bonney and the article we read called “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships” talked about the power and control wheel. This model helps one understand abusive and violent behaviors. The article focuses on how it is tough for women to break through domestic violence because of the patriarchal ordering of the world. Almeida states, “Unfortunately, it has evolved into a movement (against domestic violence) whose main strategies are tied to the law enforcement system, which is avoided by many who need help. Weissman concedes that the legal approach has some merit, but that by its very nature the legal system is individualistic and downplays the social and historical context for patterns of behavior and ignores the roles of economics, globalization, and the numerous victims of domestic violence who cannot or will not participate in the criminal justice system.” (Almeida 436-437) Clearly, people who are not of the social norms and don’t have an easy life, get it even harder from the state, just because they are different.
Works Cited
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447.
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Domestic Violence Facts: New York. Washington: NYSCADV. Print.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
I like this video because it is a modern day celebrity that is shown in a domestic violence relationship and how your relationship can be perfect at first but go to dangerous quickly.
There is much debate over whether or not gay/lesbian couples should be able to have “families.” Although they are not able to conceive children in the same way straight couples do, there are other means of obtaining a child. These can include things such as In-Vitro Fertilization or adoption. There are many children that are given up for adoption around the world. So many that sometimes they are never adopted and must stay in foster care for their whole lives. In the article “Gay and Lesbian Couples: Queer Like Us,” the statement is made that in the United States and in some other areas around the world, private physicians will refuse to inseminate unmarried women, but also lesbians. In a study, researchers found that in 1979, more than ninety percent of physicians in the United States refused to inseminate unmarried women and nine years later found out that being a lesbian was on of their top reasons. (499.) Just because a woman is a lesbian does not mean that she is not a loving, caring human being. In May of 1996, the Republican Party introduced the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA). This act defined marriage in heterosexual terms, and only heterosexual. (503). In another article, “Trouble in the Family: Prisoners Families and Children,” it is shown that children, even if they come from homosexual parents, are no different than children who come from heterosexual parents. During the 1990’s. the number of children who had a parent in prison increased from one million to one and a half million. By the end of 2002, one in every forty five minor children had a parent in prison. (519). Being put in prison has an increased strain on the relationship a parent will have with their child. Although the effects are different when it is a mother in prison than when it is a father, it still takes a toll on the childs life. When a mother is imprisoned, sixty four percent of them have said they lived with their child before being incarcerate, this compares to only forty four percent of fathers. (523). When these parents go to prison, it becomes harder for the families to make ends meet in the home. In today’s world, money means a lot. If a family does not have the means to support a child educationally, that child is already starting out on a bad path. In 1997, the Adoption and Safe Families Act was passed. This act was enacted to ensure the “safety and well-being of children in the foster care system.” (525). When Dr. Brian Frank came in and spoke to the class, this was all put in perspective for us. One of the main things I took from his speech was a very good point he made when he said “you have to be married in New York State to adopt children jointly, however gays/lesbians cannot get married in New York State.” I never actually thought about that and now that I do, I realize how ignorant our government is being. Gays and Lesbians are no different than anybody else. To say that they are not sufficient enough to have children just proves that people are ignorant to changing times.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-533.
Thomas Coffey
It is the United States Government’s purpose to help and assist all of its citizens. In some aspect the government does a great job at doing so and in others it seems like they are just adding to the problem. In these cases when the government seems to hurt it is not because they are intentionally doing so. One great example of this was presented in the documentary film War on the Family. The film looked out the affect going to prison had on Mothers and their families. Most of these Mothers raised their families as a single parent so you can imagine the big stress and burden jail time meet for these women and their families. In the documentary, Mothers told horrible stories of what they experienced in Jail which included using garbage bag as a toilet because the plumbing did not work in her cell. The whole idea is that is it worth it to put Mothers in jail for non-violent crimes such as drug traffic. These women sold drugs in order to provide money, food, and clothing for their children. Now I am not celebrating drug dealing, but in some cases when no one including the Government can help you I can understand why these women turned to that. These women’s imprisonment had a much greater reach than just them. Their families were hurt just as much by their mother’s jail time. With no parental guidance in their lives you can imagine that children of incarcerated mothers are more likely to end up in jail or engage in a horrible lifestyle. The government must realize that when you lock up one Mother, you’re not just affected her. You’re intervening in their children’s lives and probably making more criminals out of the situation. While you can’t give mothers a free pass to do and break any law they want, I think more discretion should be used in cases involving mothers. The impact of a Mother being locked up has huge implications to her families and that should be recognized by the government. In the article “Domestic Violence in Hetero Sexual Couples,” by Riseman the idea of treating couples that have been involved with domestic violence in put under the spotlight. The article suggests that the method of helping domestic violence couples should be changed. The focus should be put on the abuser (male) which would more likely have more affect on stopping the abuse. By putting this abuser in a therapeutic situation such as therapy or groups with other abuser they are more likely to reform themselves and stop the violence. The focus should not be on the victim but on the person causing the abuse in order to stop it effectively. I agree with this idea completely and think that reforming the abuser is the best way to stop abuse. Even if the victim does get away, the abuser will just move on and find a new victim.
This video gives a great view and understanding of what Jail means to Mothers and their families.
Works Cited
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447
War on Families- Documentary film
Caitlyn McGowan
Blog #5
No one ever thought that the government would have so much control over who enters your family or how your family could be created. Even hundreds of years after our countries independence we are still largely controlled by the government. Over the past couple of weeks I have realized the scrutiny and restrictions that the gay and lesbian society has been taken for many years. After listening to the Brian Frank form Lambda and reading the article Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us I have become more aware of what gay and lesbian’s go through when trying to further their relationships and families. Brian Frank has gone through all of this government regulation first hand and has had an extremely emotional rollercoaster trying to create a family with his partner Steven Bush. Brian and Steve had to only go through the foster care system to try to get a child of their own. Gay and lesbians are also expected to only get “garbage kids” from foster care, which are older, developmentally delayed, and African American kids. Brian and Steve had to go through numerous amounts of kids and even were denied children because of their sexuality. We have grown up in a society that shows homosexuality as “disease” and they are not fit people to raise children. It’s a constant struggle for these extremely nice and caring people to achieve the one piece to their family puzzle. The article Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us by Judith Stacey talked about how gays have been trying to gain their own rights as early as the 1960’s. Some sperm banks refuse to inseminate unmarried women in general and lesbians particularly. Also gay when are restricted from adoption and foster care. This article showed how the country and especially government specifically has control over who can reproduce and raise children in our society. They have to ability to say no you aren’t worthy of raising a child because of your sexuality. In both the article and the lecture it showed me that even though this is still a constant struggle in the gay/lesbian society there is slow improvements occurring in our country.
Jeremy Travis also shows government regulations in the article Prisoners’ Families and Children. The government has a lot of power with the jail system. This article talks a lot about the prison system and the effects on families and children. When fathers are incarcerated 62% are sent to prison more than 100 miles from home and women are sent about 160 miles from home. This creates less contact between the people incarcerated and their families. Most of these people are low income and don’t have the money to go visit their family members while they are away. This shows that the government has the ability to separate families and allow for children to not know their parents. “1 and 45 minor children had a parent in prison in 2002” and 55% of prisoners have at lest one minor child and with the distance separation they grow up without the parent role model (Travis, 519). Even though that these people in these prisons have done something wrong I don’t believe that the government should not allow children to have a relationship with their father or mother.
I believe that it’s a shame that just because of someone’s sexuality they cannot have children. These people are just like everyone else it’s just their attraction is different doesn’t mean that they don’t have the love and ability to raise a family. Gays and lesbians try every day to have children and because of the governments beliefs and rules they cant have the one thing they desire in their life to be a complete family. Brian and Steve finally have adopted a son through the foster care system after many grueling years. I think that the government needs to come to the realization that it doesn’t matter who is raising the child as long as they are loving and can support the child.
This video even shows a famous celebrity, Rosie O’Donnell that is a lesbian and argues with people that anyone can be good parents.
Work Cited
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBTQ Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-533.
One way the government regulates gay and lesbian families specifically is through adoption. Though, the gay and lesbian community has made recent strides towards equality, their ability to adopt is still as difficult as ever. Dr. Brian Frank discussed his personal experience adopting a child with his partner. What exemplified the government’s involvement most clearly to me was the vigorous course and testing Brian had to undergo to obtain a license to be a parent (Frank). It’s a biological right to have children, still; the government alters that right and in some cases denies that right. The fact that Brian and his partner could only have a child that the government regards as “garbage” is also appalling, as if only some children deserve the right to a safe loving home (Frank). Though problematic and quite depressing, actions such as Vermont’s 2000 grant for same sex marriage help the cause (Stacey 501). Of course it’s difficult for same sex couples to become parents if they can’t even be married themselves. Further, more and more corporations are allowing benefits for gay and lesbian’s partners and thus making the task of creating a family less strenuous (Stacey 503). Also recent researches proving gay parents are as equally adequate as heterosexual parents and that the child is in no way at risk with gay parents further relieves the stress caused by gay adoption (Stacey 507).
On the contrary, the government has a positive regulation on families because of social workers like Dacey Bonney and organizations like the Unity House. Organizations like such provide battered women an out and a home while they recollect their lives. Bonney supports women who have the strength to come forth about domestic abuse in their relationships. Rhea Almeida defines domestic abuse as “willful intimidation, assault, battery, sexual assault, or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another” (Almedia 436). Tactics include: physical, emotional, control, sexual, child and economic abuse, threats and intimidation, isolation and entrapment (Almedia 436). Behaviors mentioned can begin with the smallest of actions such as accusatory cheating (Bonney). Bonney’s vast experience and wealth of knowledge about domestic abuse allows her to tend to battered women’s needs most effectively. Bonney understands that women become trapped and helpless in domestic abuse relationships and need an out and a support system which is what she and the Unit House provide. According to her a battered women is like being inside a tornado, you just dodge the flying objects and get through the day but and an outside looking inside the tornado can see the real danger battered women are in (Bonney).
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447.
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
The family has become a regulated portion of the government. This is an upsetting fact, considering that there are large groups of people and many unique types of families that are slighted and left out because of these regulations. Women are left by the wayside to fend for themselves against their batterers. In many situations, it is very difficult for the state to intervene. Although services are provided for battered women, they are still at risk and continue to live in danger.
Recently, our class heard from a speaker from the Unity House, Dacey Bonney regarding domestic violence. Although some men experience domestic violence, it is largely an issue that pertains mainly to women. In Rhea Almeida’s article, “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships,” domestic violence is described as “gender norms taken to their extreme” (Almeida 437). This means that men assume the role of the dominant head of the household, while the woman becomes the submissive housewife who succumbs to the often outlandish demands of her husband. The article also asserts that “the legal system is individualistic and downplays the social long perpetuated unequal power relationships between the genders, as well as a separation between community and home life” (Almeida 438). The state continues to uphold the idea that the men hold the power in the home, and that what happens in the home is, for the most part, a private matter. Ms. Bonney told several different stories from her time spent at the Unity House. One of these stories illustrated this quote from the article perfectly. A woman that had divorced her husband was stuck with half of his credit card debt, even though the card was not in her name and she had not made any purchases on it. In another case, a woman wanted to get a divorce, but her husband had cancelled her medical insurance while she was receiving cancer treatment. These both describe cases where the state doesn’t step in to correct the wrongs committed against women as a result of a power struggle. Women are forced to suffer because the laws don’t support protection from their abusers, as long as it happens within the confines of their own home.
Before Ms. Bonney had come to our classroom, I had never realized just how seriously an abuser can harm a woman. Of course I was aware of the physical abuse that women faced, but I had never been aware of the psychological and emotional harm that could be committed. I was shocked to hear many of the stories, but relieved to know that there were safe havens, such as the Unity House that exist to help these abused women. I agree with Ms. Bonney’s assertion that we too often ask, “why does she stay with him?”, rather than “why is he doing this to her?” We need to make this an issue that does not blame the women, but questions the men instead. It is never a woman’s fault for being beaten, or taken advantage of emotionally or psychologically, yet we often blame her for not leaving the situation. Instead, we need to look at the men and bring justice to the situation.
http://loyalopposition.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/15/grand-old-and-anti-woman/?scp=3&sq=domestic%20violence&st=cse This is a link to the New York Times article, “Grand, Old, and Anti-Woman.” This article discusses how the Republican party vetoed a bill that would allow federal funding to be used to “investigate and prosecute domestic violence.” I find this to be incredibly upsetting because it proves that the government is not willing to help the women in need, and further separates the home from the community, and gives abusers even more power to continue to commit their crimes.
“Grand, Old and Anti-Woman.” New York Times (blog). 15 Mar. 2012. Web. 4 Apr. 2012. .
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships.” 435-39. Abstract. Print.
In the last two weeks, our class has learned the different types of American families and ways in which our government regulates they way they are formed. Specifically, GLBT individuals that wish to start a family face extreme difficulties and societal oppositions to their family structure. After listening to two in-class speakers and reading “Gay and Lesbians Families: Queers Like Us”, I realized how much of an impact state and national government has on the development on the GLBT community.
Brian Frank of “Lambda Family Circle” spoke about the struggles of being a gay father, a foster parent and the adoption process. The state government produced pretty significant problems for him and his partner. For over ten years, the couple had to go through background checks, fingerprinting, and take an exam to gain parenting rights for the foster program.
The gay community has struggled for marriage and parenting rights for a long time. Only recently in 2000, did Vermont grant same-sex couples to enter a civil union (Stacey). Politics is the main issue for gay rights and progressing to a more equal society. There is a constant battle for gay and lesbian second-parent rights that tends to follow the trend of political popularity from state to state (Stacey). States have the ability to restrict an individual’s marriage right and parenting rights. Members of the GLBT community are not allowed to have certain in-vitro fertilization procedure and certain medical needs are not met. This inequality creates an biased society and even worse- a bias government.
Along with the issue of gay adoption rights , there is a strong relationship between domestic violence and protection from the state. Dacey Bonney of Unity House explained the increased hardships that gay victims of domestic violence have to endure. State police or local law enforcement do not meet the needs of a victim that is gay, and on many occasions will not treat them the same as a straight individual.
Although there has been significant progress from a society that use to think of homosexuality as a sickness or a mental illness, there is many inequalities still prominent in our culture. Gay and Lesbian parents do not share the same rights as straight couples. The GLBT community experiences a great gap in social justice and are shaped by the state and national government to structure their family in a certain way.
This clip is a student documentary piece on young adults view of Gay and Lesbian Adoption.
Youtube Clip : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQzGOokRtx0\
Works Cited
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
In today’s society, the government regulates and states which families could be formed and accepted. For class we had two guests’ speakers that I feel show how the government and people’s view effects the formation of a family. In the article “Gay and Lesbian Families” written by Judith Stacey, she states how marriage has changed for both homosexuals and heterosexuals. The guest speaker who had encountered the government first hand is Brian Frank. Another way the state enforces certain families is by the violence in heterosexual relationships. In the article “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”, written by Rhea V. Almeida states the violence and how it affects the family. Another guest speaker we had was Dacey Bonney talks about the power and control in a domestic violent household.
In the article “Gay and Lesbian Families” the author states how as a community, they have come a long way because it is still taking a lot of states and people to accept gay marriage. With the rise of certain states allowing gay marriage to be legal, people are becoming more accepting rather than completely shutting it down. The article also talks about the history and how gay marriages are now families. Brain Frank spoke about his obstacles in forming a family and how difficult it is to adopt. He also mentioned how the children allowed to be adopted by homosexuals were the “hard to place child” which he mentioned to be a “garbage child”. These children had problems and weren’t being adopted by heterosexual families. He mentioned this entire process of becoming a foster parent and then an adoptive foster parent. When he was talking about this it made me think how easy it is for a couple to get a child because they are more accepted in society. This shows how the government is putting so many obstacles for homosexual parents to become guardians of the children that need loving parents.
In the article “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships” the author mentions the different types of violence and it all are does not have to be physical. The article mentions how the government shows that men are more in power which shows how the perpetrators show the dominance in the relationship. The article also shows how racism and cultural backgrounds enforce that the male be dominate in the family which shows that they can do what they please to the women. Now Dacey Bonney states that out of 1000 victims, it showed that only 7 were males. Dacey mentioned how some intriguing information about how a man could isolate women and mentally abuse her. This shows how the governments is helping victims and are forming a certain type of family which is non-violent. This is a positive aspect because the government is trying to protect the family but some cases are not resolved because of the power of the dominant member of the family.
I found a video clip were people are overhearing a man yell at his wife and they are just eating their dinner. The husband of the family walks over to the other apartment and hands the abuser a bat. The commercial is stating that if you hear or see something you should stand up because if you don’t, it’s as if you are helping the abuser out. This commercial, I feel gives the right statement that we need to stand up against domestic violence.
Works Cited
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvBKlBhfgPc —–> heres the video
Blog #5
Over the past couple of decades, families have been taking on new shapes, styles, and colors than ever before. As seen in the past, “change” tends to scare people and government regulations are put into place to limit the amount of change. Government rules and regulations have been created to enforce certain types of family structures. The article “Gay and Lesbian Families” by Judith Stacey supports gay and lesbian families and describes the hardships they face. The article “Prisoners’ Families and Children” by Jeremy Travis describes the negative effects incarceration has on families. Both articles show how the state enforces certain types of family structures through strict laws and regulations either directly or indirectly.
The article “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer like us,” enlightened me to the new “queer family” image. The article states that in 1994, 64% of respondents of a survey did not want to legalize gay marriage, however it dropped in 1996 to 58% and in 2001 only 52% declined gay marriage (505). This shows that as time has progressed, there has been more support for legalizing gay marriage. A major law that was targeted to limit gay marriage was the Defense of Marriage Act of 1996, which defined marriage as a heterosexual union between one man and one woman as husband and wife (503). Since then, some states have legalized gay marriage, but only a few. Recently, a new question has been raised to whether or not gay/lesbian couples should be allowed to have families. Our guest speaker, Dr. Brian Frank, is a gay man who had always wanted a family with his partner. Dr. Frank discussed the challenges of overcoming government regulations and rules in Albany, New York in order to fulfill his dream of adopting a child of his own. He explained how a child’s age, health, race, and gender all play a major role in the adoption process (speaker). He had to go through numerous processes, programs, and tests in order to be certified as an adoptive father. As Dr. Frank described his story, he pointed out that he has many identities. He is a foster/adoptive father, gay man, gay father, and also a special needs parent. This shows how far he has come to achieve his dream of being a father by really stretching himself as a person. After listening to his presentation, I was convinced that he was a great father through everything that he had gone through. This shows that gay/lesbian families can provide and sustain great family structures. However, government regulations are keeping the number of gay/lesbian families down. Overall, the article and guest speaker opened my eyes to how the government enforces limited gay/lesbian families.
The article, “Prisoners’ Families and Children” by Jeremy Travis highlighted the government regulations on families affected by incarceration. Prisons are becoming very isolated that it may actually be hurting the families just as bad as the incarcerated individuals. Washington D.C is one of the major cities affected by crime where 75% of African Americans can expect to be incarcerated during their lifetime (521). Such a high percentage will indirectly affect family structures of those in that area. With majority of those incarcerated being males, women and their children are affected. If a father is incarcerated, 85% of the children stay with their mothers, 16% live with grandparents, 6% with other relatives and 2% with foster care (529). In addition to this disrupted family unit, prisons add to the family’s expenses by raising the cost of family phone calls, and possibly relocating them to prisons further away. These added expenses are hurting the already affected mother and child. Therefore the government is indirectly regulating these types of family structures so that they are unable to escape such negative environments. It is a very unfortunate environment that affects the entire community.
Overall, both articles and our speaker, Dr. Brian Frank, described the effects of government regulations on the family structure. It is evident that these regulations are put into place to reduce the amount of change between the traditional families. I believe that the government and states need to come to terms with the gay/lesbian movement and grant them their rights that they deserve, just as women and African-Americans fought for and attained. As more awareness and consistent support increases, government regulations can be reduced to allow flexibility within the modern family structure that is forever changing.
YouTube video of options/challenges of gay parents: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pzaUcm1abc
Works Cited
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBTQ Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. (2011). “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition. 16th Ed. 496-518.
Travis, Jeremy. (2011). “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition. 16th Ed. 519-533.
In the article “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships” by Rhea Almeida there is an emphasis on incorporating different techniques into the current system of handling domestic violence cases. The author’s intent for the article was to expand on the procedure for handling domestic violence victims from focus on the abuse to focus on more resilience building. Social workers, family therapists, counseling psychologists, students and practitioners need to be taught ways to “inject social-justice values into everyday clinical practice…the connection between family and society at the center of therapeutic thinking” (Almeida 437). The current system for handling domestic violence victims centers more on the abuse done to her and punishing the abuser rather than trying to involve other members of the family unit in rehabilitation. The author discusses the Cultural Contextual Model and one point of this model is to define empowerment collectively rather than individually, which means to not only focus on empowering the victim but utilizing others to do so (Almeida 439). State run programs and their focus on the wrongdoer links to the ideas expressed in “Prisoners’ Families and Children” by Jeremy Davis who discusses the increases in incarceration rates and the stress that incarceration of a family member can have the family unit as a whole. When a person is imprisoned and they have a family who is not it can feel as if everyone is incarcerated with that one family member. On a personal note in 2008 my biological father was imprisoned for multiple DUI’s and while I don’t live with him or his family I kept in contact with his current partner and their daughter. The woman my father is with, Tammy, struggled to make ends meet in the time my father was in prison, she almost lost custody of their daughter, Kylie, and was forced to move in with her parents to ensure that she got to keep Kylie. It was as if the world stopped when he went away because they no longer had the means to make thing work anymore, so for Tammy it was almost as if she was in a jail of her own. While I feel that the punishment was necessary for my father to get his act together I felt that the state just completely forgot that he had a family who depended on him before his incarceration. They may not have been a perfect family unit but as Davis states, “even absent fathers can provide emotional and financial support prior to their incarceration,” which is exactly what my father did for his family (524). Tammy needed a social support system more than ever when my father was in prison and I feel that there should be a network set up that connects these people to one another. I made attempts to find resources that linked people with family members in prison but found only found one that seems to have a few resources within it http://www.fcnetwork.org/programs/links.html. Other than that I found a great deal of prison dating sites which I found laughable based upon the names of the sites.
We live in a world where the government is more prominent and influencing than ever before, at least in the history of the United States. More and more people are relying on the government for support, rather than taking self-responsibility. With that said the government also plays a role in dictating family structures.
As Dr. Brian Frank points out in his lecture, it is extremely difficult for a GLBTQ couple to become parents. Dr. Frank’s talk began to make me think about all the teenagers, or individuals that have kids, and do not want them, or are not ready for responsibility of parenthood, and the fact those children are sometimes put up for adoption, and in certain cases can float around in the foster care system for years. Which, I find to be somewhat ridiculous when reliable, adults with stable careers can only adopt “garbage kids,” because of their sexual orientation. Dr. Frank’s talk made me realize that the definition of the “family ”does not have to consist of a mom, dad, and a child that looks like them.
Dr. Frank’s talked really opened my eyes to the issues facing GLBTQ couples who desire to become parents. I found it interesting that Dr. Frank needed a license to be a foster care parent. Dr. Frank’s also made me think about how the government influences family structure. In traditional couples the government does not control, when or how many kids you have. However, when you are a GLBTQ couple the government tends to make is a lengthier process, often times discouraging worthy potential parents away.
The government’s regulation of families is also prevalent in the article named “Prisoner’s Families and Children.” Travis discusses the gender imbalance that has been created, basically more men are incarcerated than women, therefore more women are acting as single parents, which has altered the family structure. The article states that 1 in 45 children had a parent in prison (Travis 520). Some would say that this is the government influencing the family structure, however I think the legal system works, and that parents who do go to jail for committing crimes should have to answer for their actions, by facing the consequences.
In Judith Stacey’s article “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us,” Stacey talks about the idea of society beginning to accept gay marriage. She acknowledges how popular television shows such as Friends and Roseanne which aired same-sex marriages on their shows (Stacey 503). I think the idea of her article was to help pave the way for queer families, and Stacey wanted to express that heterosexual individuals could learn a great deal from the struggle that gay couples face. Stacey also goes on to say how our government, regulates the rights of non-heterosexual family structures, and notes how the government does restrict LGBTQ families ability to adopt and raise children.
Another source I found interesting was a clip from Lisa Ling’s show “Our America”. I have attached a link below http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXxtQJZeA2g
As you can see incarceration and the government have a large influence on the family.
Works Cited
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBTQ Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena
College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 519-
Blog #5
The government has regulates everything in the United States, and some things more than other. Throughout this section of our class I have come to realize that they have a large impact on the way families come together and are affected. Two major ways in which I was able to see this is in GLBTQ families and in families where there is a parent in prison.
A speaker came in a talked to us about his experience with trying to get a child. Brian Frank is gay. He and his partner tried for a very long time to adopt a baby and they were sent on quiet a ride before they were able to actually accomplish this. Most people don’t think about having to go through a roundabout process in order to get a child, most people just see it as a right that everyone has, but that exactly what they had to do. The government controls who can and can’t foster and adopt kids. They had to get a license just to be considered for a child but because they are a gay couple they could only get the kids that no one else wanted, the “garbage” children, and even then people were not accepting of kids being placed with a gay couple so time after time their foster kids were taken from them.
This youtube video is a news show; the visiting person they are questioning is passionately against gay couple adopting children because he feels that is it not in the best interest of the child. He feels the child would be served best by having both a mother and a father.
I feel like it is completely ridiculous not to let a same sex couple adopt and parent children. They can raise a child just as well as and maybe even better than parents of the opposite sex. The government should not regulate who can and cannot adopt based on sexual orientation. They should be more concerned with which home would be the best place for the child no matter what gender the parents are.
In an article entitled, “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”, the author shows that while acceptance is slow, homosexual marriage is becoming more accepted all around the world. The government controls who can and cannot get married and by saying that gay marriage is illegal it changes the definition of gay families. They don’t get the same right as straight couples to show everyone how they feel about their significant other. Law are slowly changing and allowing for them to have the same right to marriage as everyone else. “In 2000, Vermont became the first state in the United States to grant same sex couple the right to enter a civil union” (Stacey, 501). While this is quite the same as marriage it is a step in the right direction and then “In 2001, the Netherlands assumed world leadership in fully legalizing same-sex marriage at the national level” (Stacey 504). States have slowly been following after this and same sex marriage is now legal in many states across the nation. I think it’s a great thing that states have become more accepting of this and that gay couples are gaining the rights that they should have had along with everyone else.
The incarceration rate of people that have families is also having an impact on family life in the United States. “Far more men than women are sent to prison each year; our criminal justice policies have created a ‘gender imbalance’” (Travis, 520). This gender imbalance has caused the number of available men to be far less than women. These families are negatively impacted if they have children. “… if families suffer adverse effects from our incarceration policies, we would expect these harmful effects to be felt in the next generation, as children grow up at greater risk of engaging in delinquent and criminal behavior.” (Travis, 520). Parents in jail has an adverse effect on everyone around them, and the incarceration rate is even higher in poorer areas.
Work Cited:
Stacey, Judith. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us.” Family in Transition. 16th ed. Boston: Pearson Education, 2011. 496-515. Print.
Travis, Jeremy. “Prisoners’ Families and Children.” Family in Transition. 16th ed. Boston: Pearson Education, 2011. 519-31. Print.
Amelia Chierchie
Dr.Thomas
Sociology of the family
There are many ways in which the government regulates families. Throughout the world there are specific ways which constitutes what it means to be a family, making it specifically difficult for gay and lesbian families to be acknowledged and respected in their communities. Dr. Brian Frank who is currently a member of the Lambda family circle came in and spoke to our class showing how difficult the government made it for him and his partner to be able to adopt a child. I do not understand why adoption agencies frown upon or make it extremely difficult for gay and lesbian couples to adopt children when there are children that are currently stuck in abusive families. Why would the government make it difficult for loving and caring individuals to take in children who are in desperate need of a loving and caring family? I feel like it is based on ignorance and desire to keep power unequal for those who’s sexuality preferences are for the same sex. There used to be stigmatization’s that said growing up in a gay or lesbian household would make their child desire the same sex. Clearly this is false, especially since there is extensive research that proves homosexualism is genetic, rather than a choice.
In the lecture by Sassafras Lowrey, it is clear that there needs to be more awareness of those who are homeless because of their sexual orientation. There also needs to be a greater government response in programs to provide housing and shelter. Currently, Lady Gaga, a famous singing artist has been raising awareness and funding for homosexual youth centers and shelters. At her concerts she explains the issues and allows her fans to support homosexual youths by accepting donations which she matches with her own money.
Stacey, who wrote the article Gay and Lesbian Families, conducted research on how children described their relationship with their homosexual parents. Most said that they are lucky to have such loving and caring parents and it doesn’t matter that they have two moms or two dads, they felt that by living in a homosexual household, it made them more open and respectful to those with different sexual orientations. This article continues to talk about how gay and lesbian families are gaining more support in their community, but still shows the challenge of child birth that they experience. Women have the option to undergo expensive procedure such as in-vitro fertilization and artificial insemination or can choose to adopt whereas gay men do not have the same options.
Also, the ability to be “married” has recently been adopted to allow gay and lesbians to be recognized by the state. Before this adaption, partners did not have the ability to be covered under their partners health insurance, they did not have the ability to visit their sick lover in the hospital because they were not considered family. They also were not able to share property, and when one partner became deceased their partner was not entitled to any of their belongings.
Currently, gay and lesbian families are slowly gaining access to the same luxuries heterosexuals have with their ability to have a family. Although they have to go through other means, making it much more expensive and much more political in a sense, eventually they will gain greater acknowledgement and support through their community.
works cited
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
In many families the government plays no role or very little role when it come to making up a family. When the speaker Dr. Brian Frank came to talk about his experience when he went through adopting his son. Dr. Frank painted a picture that was very different from what many straight families when they go to adopt. He explained that many times the only children that GLBT parents can get are children that are known as “garbage” which is a horrible name for kids that no one wants. This is a horrible nickname for anyone especially for children. He went into detail about the struggle they went through to get their son. After many battles for other children and loses of those children, they finally won the child they so longed for. The children that many GLBT parents receive are those that no one wants. Its incredibly hard for them to get a baby let alone in may cases a normal child. In the blog “My Gay Adoption:” you fallow a gay couple as they try to adopt a child. You can on a timeline of posts how long the whole process can take. They have been only just picked and that was on day 437 they were matched with a mother in hopes it would work out this time. This time they where luck enough to be chosen after the time that they almost had the first child. Unlike Dr. Frank they chose to wait for a baby, which seemed harder for them did it did for the men writing the blog. When Dr. Frank tried to adopt with his partner they ran into a lot more trouble when they tried to adopt a baby. They were told that garbage children would be their best chance at a child. So they chose to foster then try and adopt the child. Which is when a child does not qualify as normal or what is most wanted. So unless you’re a white male baby who is totally normal will you qualify to be not garbage. Along with the huge amount of work that went into the foster care system to try and slow down GLBT parents from getting children. Which lead me to look up the governments rules for GLBT parents adopting. They have a lot and many seem unless and not worth the time they entail since many times GBLT parents may be the best options that these kids have. The government in the country had put a law so that if the state where the couple is not recognized by the state they are not allowed to legally adopt the child even if the mother wants baby to go to that family and has signed off. On the Love and Pride website they say that the only known state that has banned gay rights totally is Florida and Utah which does not recognize gay marriage does not allow unmarried couples to adopt. They cite that, “California, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Vermont, Washington and Wisconsin, and the District of Columbia, have allowed gay adoption in specific cases.” Which is the only places in the country that it is allowed. Other states will allow the couples to adopt but under different cases typically which is consisting of a single adoption with the other parent having to adopt to. The US government which is always under pressure to ban gay adoption and gay marriage is typically always in a dead lock or pushing away. In the Story of the Rowse’s the two parents of the children only one can be the parent, the other one cant. They are trying to change the law so that they can adopt these children. But why should they have to chance a law when they are perfectly fit parents and they aren’t in the foster system they are saving the children. But many times the government wont change since many people wont get behind the change in GBLT rights.
http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/news/a-same-sex-couple-fight-to-change-adoption-laws-so-their-kids-have-the-same-rights-as-other-children
Works Citied:
http://www.edgeonthenet.com/columnists/david_foucher///113448/my_gay_adoption_day_1_::_what’s_there_to_do_in_rutland_vermont_anyway?
http://adoption.about.com/od/gaylesbian/a/gayadoptissues.htm
Dr. Brian Frank
http://www.loveandpride.com/informationcenter/tips.aspx?categoryid=7
http://www.wxyz.com/dpp/news/a-same-sex-couple-fight-to-change-adoption-laws-so-their-kids-have-the-same-rights-as-other-children
Katelyn Black
Blog#5
Government regulations are very predominant when it comes to gay and lesbians. The article, “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer like us” by Judith Stacey and both the speakers, Brian Frank representing Lanbda Family Circle and the speaker who came in to discuss homelessness and LGBTQ, each briefly touched upon government regulations facing homosexuals. Most of the research that was found based on government regulations was that they were very strict with homosexuals, and there was no equality verse them and heterosexuals. They are very limited with certain things, such as getting married, adopting, facing society, etc.
In the article by Judith Stacey, she wrote; “before the Stonewall rebellion in 1969, the family lives of gays and lesbians were so invincible, both legally and socially, that one can actually date the appearance of the first identifiable species of gay family life—a unit that includes at least one self-identified gay and lesbian parent and children from a former heterosexual marriage” (Stacey 497). This just goes to show that it is very rare for gay and lesbian couples to have children if they had not previously been in a relationship before coming out. For both gays and lesbians it is very hard to have children. Their options are to either adopt or go through insemenation. “More than 90 percent of U.S. physicians surveyed in 1979 denied insemination to unmarried women, and a 1988 federal government survey of doctors and clinics reported that homosexuality was one of their top four reasons for refusing to provide this service” (499). This is a regulation that makes it so hard for gays and lesbians to have a child, which is very unfair because all couples should be eligible to have children, even if they are of the same sex.
This leads into the speech by Brian Frank who represented the Lanbda Family Circle. Brian is a gay man with a partner, who went through the awful experience of adoption. They had to go through the same process of papers and checks that the rest of the people have to. The problem is that people are hesitant to give a child to a gay couple because they are nervous that they will be changed and geared to become a homosexual as well. They had to go through several open adoptions with several different children before they were able to settle down and keep one. Once they had a child and were requested by a couple for them to keep the child, they had to go through the law in order to make the adoption legal. When going to court, they were very hesitant to place this child into this gay couples hands. Only one person would have legal adoption rights to the child because the couple was not married, and they were hesitant that they were gay. But, at the second court date everything was fine and they gained custody of him. After hearing this story, I realized how hard it is for gay and lesbian couples to have children, and how unfair the system is.
Lastly, the speaker who came in to talk about LGBTQ and homelessness had a very sad story, which ended very well. Her parents kicked her out, she was abused, had no where to go, did not want to be placed in a home, and her friends parents after finding out she was gay did not want her around either. This is such a sad thing, and the system for young kids, foster care, now is cutting down on the amount of money they receive, which is not going to help these children out. The government is ridiculous with how they are treating gay and lesbians and they are not fair at all. Everyone should be treated equally no matter what.
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBT Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. 2011. “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition, 16th ed. 496-518.
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Matthew Eliseo
Over the past few weeks, we have learned how the government or the state can affect the formation of a family. We were lucky enough to have Dr. Brian Frank come and speak with our class regarding gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender families and their struggles in New York. He shared with us his story regarding how his family came to be. He struggled with various identities, and innumerable obstacles before finally becoming a father to his adoptive son, Darius. Two of the most important ways in which the government affected the formation of his family were the fact that he could not marry his partner, and they could not adopt at the same time.
According to the article, “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us” by Judith Stacey, “gays and lesbians are in the thick of a vigorous profamily movement” (p. 496). Unfortunately, though, the gay and lesbian couples are struggling to prove that they are equally as capable of parenting and forming healthy familial relationships. For instance, Dr. Frank and his partner, Steve Bush, might be considered to be a part of this pro-family movement, but they were not able to get married. Although at first, they were not terribly upset about this fact, it caused problems for them later on. Both of the men were hoping to become fathers one day. After years of being involved with the foster care system, they were given a boy named Darius. Darius eventually was eligible for adoption by Dr. Frank and Steve. Unfortunately, the state wouldn’t allow non-married partners to adopt at the same time. They faced a cyclical issue. They were not able to get married, and therefore not able to adopt children as a couple. These sort of laws are in place to bar what some would call an “unfavorable” family form from coming together. There are so many couples that can’t form a legitimate family in the eyes of the law because of their orientation.
It was disturbing for me to see happy families like Dr. Frank’s ripped apart again and again. For example, when two young boys came into their home, they had felt truly happy together. They were even offered the possibility of adoption. Unfortunately, though, their previous foster family had heard that gay fathers were hoping to adopt the boys and quickly stepped in and adopted the two boys themselves. It seemed that the previous foster family did not care about the children and only took the boys back just because they would go to a gay couple. It is very upsetting to me that there are people that are not willing to accept gay men as parents. Dr. Frank and his partner were clearly prepared to provide a child with love and support, but they were judged simply because they were gay. In this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5EOx97-5DE, Dan Savage speaks about his experience as a gay father. He says that there is not much of a difference between the way he was raised by straight parents and the way he is raising his son as a gay father. He admits that one thing did come up and his son did not want to talk to his parents about it because he was not sure if they would understand because they were gay, but then they talked about it and now the son tells them everything just like normal parents. I believe that as long as two parents are able to provide a loving home for a child, it should not matter what their orientation may be. In the article “Gay and Lesbian Families,” by Judith Stacy, it is stated that “homophobia is a matter of passion, politics, and prejudice, not logic.” (p. 505). I agree with this assessment because many do not fully understand the benefits a gay or lesbian family can offer. In actuality, many gay families are just as average as straight ones.
Work cited
Frank, Brian. Lambda Family Circle. “Ways in Which GLBTQ Families are Affected by the State, Including Adoption, Marriage, and Health Insurance Regulations”. Siena
College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Stacey, Judith. (2011). “Gay and Lesbian Families: Queer Like Us”. Family in Transition. 16th Ed. 496-518.
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5EOx97-5DE
Kanika Cummings
Blog #5
The Family
When I thought of domestic violence before listening to our guest speaker Dacey Bonney and reading the article “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships” I viewed domestic violence to be an assault to a significant other or sexual harassment from that partner. Little did I know there are so much more to domestic violence, like how much society and the government are involved. In this blog I will be explaining the norms of domestic violence and how it is viewed in our society today. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence defined domestic violence as the “willful intimidation, assault, battery, sexual assault, or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimate partner against another. The patterned and repeated use of coercive and controlling behavior to limit, direct, and shape a partner’s thoughts, feelings, and actions”(Almeida, 436). Although this may seem stereotypical, when most people see this definition they would see the assault to be the doing of the male in the relationship. Unfortunately, this statement is correct. Dacey Bonney stated that about a thousand of clients that come in to her domestic violence shelter seven were male. The percentage of males that are victims of domestic violence that come into her shelter is .7%. This means that the percent of women that are domestic violence victims in her shelter is 99.3%. That is a very high percent and ratio of women to men. This is the norm for domestic violence. It is shown in Dacey Bonney’s shelter and as a worldwide view that victims of domestic violence are almost always women. I believe that this is because men feel the need to be the dominate figure in the relationship which causes them to want to take control and keep control. Also Bonney announced that, “1 in 4 women are victims of domestic crime”(Bonney). As whole women are subjected to domestic violence which is a scary thought. Another norm for domestic violence is that a great percentage of domestic violence comes from families who have other troubles that affect their lifestyle. The reading focuses on men and women of “color”. It reads that, “Couples on society’s margins face addition burdens that affect women as victims and men as perpetrators: Economic, Sexual, Perceptions of Family, Physical and Psychological, Emotional Isolation” (Almeida, 443). I will focus on the Phyisical and Psychological where it said, “A man of color is far more likely to experience instances of police brutality and harassment. Men of color are more likely to be singled out for investigation at police road checks. Latino men are stopped as often as African-American men, and since September 11, 2001, men perceived as Arab or South Asian have also been racially targeted” (Almeida, 443). When a man or women is subjected to outside troubles that will affect their mindset and psychological being it will have an effect on their act in their homes.
This is a video on domestic violence and how it is both supports my points on the norms of domestic violence:
Works Cited:
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 435-447. Print
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College, NY 12211. Guest Speaker.
Diana Susino
Blog #5
After reading the articles and watching the guest speakers, it is evident that the state impacts different types of family structures. The article “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships,” by Rhea Almeida, discusses ways in which the government is involved in protecting women by enacting laws. In the “Prisoners’ Families and Children” passage in the textbook written by Jeremy Travis, it is evident that another was in which the state exercises their power is in regards to incarceration. Although both topics are very different, the actions of the government very much impact family structure.
The article “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationship,” defines domestic violence as “willful intimidation, assault, battery, sexual assault, or other abusive behavior perpetrated by an intimidate partner against another” (Almeida, 436). Although domestic violence is considered to have a huge impact on families, statistics show that in the last ten years, conditions have gotten much better. According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, reports of rates of family violence in the United States have dropped more than half since 1993 (Almeida, 436). I question what the reasoning for this is. It is because of the work of social workers, staff at women’s crisis centers, police, and prosecutors. It is also because of legislation passed. It is because of the Violence Against Women Act, which was passed in 1994 and was amended in 1998 and 2006. This law has helped make sure community based programs, as well as legislation properly respond to cases of domestic violence. This directly relates to a point that the author, Rhea Almeida addresses in her article. She feels that people must stop accepting abuse from men as something that happens, but instead recognize that women must bring social justice to the situation through action and not acceptance. When Unity House worker and Siena Professor, Dacey Bonney came to speak to us, she gave the statistic that one in four women is a victim of domestic violence. This is an alarming number. She said that a high percentage of children that were victims or witnessed domestic violence, become violent as well because this is a learned behavior. It is important that the state passes legislation that brings awareness to this issue and addresses it properly.
The second subject in which the state impacts family structure is in regard to imprisonment. The article “Prisoner’s, Families, and Children”, shows how the criminal justice system actually creates a “gender imbalance” (Travis, 520). This means that there are more women in the community because so many of the men are incarcerated. As a result of this, the structure of the family changes in that there are more single, female-head of households. When a spouse is incarcerated, the parent left behind usually becomes more independent and self-sufficient. This either ultimately changes the relationship between the spouse and the person incarcerated or leads to the dissolution of the relationship. Financial burdens are increased on a family with an incarcerated family member and statistics show that 44% of families taking care of a child with an incarcerated parent are on welfare (Travis, 525).
Family structure can change so drastically to the point that the child is placed into foster care. In 1997, Congress created the Adoption and Safe Families Act. This was created to improve the safety of children in the foster care system and remove barriers that hinder permanent placement, therefore allowing adoption. Permanency placements are made within twelve months of the child’s removal from the home (Travis, 526). Foster care placements can last no longer than 15 months and then a petition can be filed to terminate parental rights. One alarming statistic is that half the states now include incarceration as a reason to terminate parental rights (Travis, 526). This is a very evident way in which legislation impacts family structure. Since their parent is in jail, a child enters foster care where they have to create relationships with strangers in an unfamiliar place. Children can be separated from their siblings and the whole process is traumatizing. I recognize that this legislation is in the best interest of the child, but regardless it is causing extreme change on family structure.
In both the article “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships,” by Rhea Almeida and Jeremy Travis’, “In the “Prisoners’ Families and Children” legislation was passed that impacts family structure. In both cases, legislation is passed to positively help dangerous situations, but in spite of whether it is positive or negative it still changes families.
The video below is a short, but powerful commercial that shows how children learn from their parents. If domestic violence occurs between parents it will teach children act the same way. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcodyFKKdVM
Works Cited:
Almeida, Rhea V. “Domestic Violence in Heterosexual Relationships”. 436.
Bonney, Dacey. Unity House. “Cycle of Domestic Violence and State Intervention”. Siena College. Guest Speaker.
Travis, Jeremy. 2011 “Prisoners’ Families and Children”. Families in Transition, 16th ed. 520, 525-526.
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