This Thursday, we are reading two articles from the textbook:
– Casper & Bianchi, Cohabitation, p. 161-172
– Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano, Marriage Is More Than Being Together, p. 172-189
– Blog #6, please summarize the main points of the articles. Be sure to post links to further relevant information.
Sociology of the Family 
In the article “Cohabitation” written by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi discusses the living arrangements, an relationships between two people and how they have changed throughout time. Living arrangements have various different names such as “ shacking up, living in sin, living together, doubling up, sleeping together. Marriage has changed throughout time, it used to be the “demographic event that almost exclusively marked the formation of a new household, the beginning of sexual relations, and the birth of a child” (Casper&Bianchi 162). Cohabitation has increased so much over the years because of the “increased uncertainty about the stability of a marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious beliefs” (Casper&Bianchi 164). There are arguments that cohabitation reduces the cost of partnering, it also couples to experience the benefits of an intimate relationship without committing to marriage (Bumpass&Sweet1989a). More things have been accepted throughout time such as premarital sex and living with a partner before marriage.
In the article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” written by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano discusses marriage and how it has changed throughout time. Some people believe that marriage is in trouble, divorce rates are rising, there are increased levels of cohabitation, gay marriage, nonmarital childbearing has caused a great decline in marriage. People believe that society today has lead to the decrease in marriage. Things like “schooling beyond teen years, sexual behavior, reliable methods of contraception, changing gender roles, divorce, and the option to remain single” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 173). It is also said that many educated middle and upper class men and women delay marriage because they want to focus on their personal and professional goals.
(http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/000302/cohabit.shtml) This link discusses the negative effects of cohabitation.
(http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/03/us/03marry.html) This is a link to an article found in The New York TImes.
Works Cited:
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188 Print.
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
In this article the main points revolve around marriage versus cohabitation; each has their own set of pluses and minuses and each side has its critics and its supporters. To start off each of these ways of life share certain similarities. Things such as that both make for intimacy in the areas of sexual, psychological, and emotional, along with some economic interdependence (Casper and Bianchi, 162).
Despite these similarities between the two they have their differences as well.
In recent years marriage has dulled down and cohabitation has increased. This has occurred for numerous reasons such as uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the acceptability of cohabitation in society, the weakening of religious and family values as well as more access to contraceptives. In addition to that family values have shifted from commitment to marriage and selflessness to fulfilling your own interests and self-freedom (Casper and Bianchi, 164).
On top of just the partners in the cohabitation sometimes children are involved as well. In 1978, about 28% of cohabitor households had children under 18 years old in them, by 1998 it had increased to 37% (Casper and Bianchi, 166). Children that end up in cohabitor households, most of the time, are from a partner that has had a previous marriage. The downfall to raising a child in a household like that is that they have a higher chance of experiencing the parents separate, and the father-son connection can possibly be a very poor one leaving lasting affects on the child (Casper and Bianchi, 166).
Research has shown that those who tend to cohabitate are more egalitarian and focus less on gender roles. Cohabitation households show more sharing of financial burden and needs, chores around the house, and the pair both get to focus on themselves more. Along with that cohabitating couples tend to accept divorce more than married couples and they are twice as likely to be different races. 13% of cohabitating couples are different races opposed to only 5% that are married (Casper and Bianchi, 167).
The next article is one by numerous authors such as Maria Kefalas and Frank Furstenberg; this piece focus on the changing notion of what marriage is to young people today. Marriages overall attractiveness has decreased due to a myriad of factors such as access to contraceptives, fear of divorce or staying single forever, changing gender roles and liberalization of sexual behavior. The fulfillment of personal goals in life is another reason why marriage age has been pushed back (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano, 173).
There are two types of people who look at marriage, marriage planners, those who see it, as a life goal but are only one of many options in their lives. Next are marriage drifters, those who see marriage as a natural outcome of a relationship. Marriage planners are people who want to be prepared for marriage in everyway possible, maturity, financially, personal goals and educational (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano, 178). Most young people hold a marriage planner view, saying that they would like to be married at some point in their lives. The only thing holding them back are barriers such fulfillment of education and being financially sound. Even if these requirements are fulfilled some will still not be ready to get married or take a big step in a relationship (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano, 185).
Here is a video about how the youth views marriage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEKdd7UNdc4
In addition to that link there is another from USA Today, http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-09-12-census-marriage_N.htm
It says that almost three-quarters of men and almost two-thirds of women in there 20’s in 2006 had never been married, according to Census data. Among men ages 20-29, 73% said they had never been married in 2006, compared with 64% in 2000. For women, 62.2% had never married in 2006, compared with 53.4% six years earlier (USA Today).
My personal reaction to these articles is that young kids are always changing in their perceptions of what marriage is like and if they want it or not. Personally I have no idea what I want as far as marriage goes, I am scared of it right now of course and I am not sure what the future holds for me. I one day will get married most likely and have children and go on from there, but as of now I do not know.
In the article titled “Cohabitation”, it describes the word cohabitation as mainly being associated with partners of the opposite-sex. A major concern of the increase in cohabitating coup-les is that is “has eroded commitment to marriage and ‘traditional’ family” (Casper, 161). Casper and Bianchi also go on to say that “the meaning and permanence of marriage may be changing as cohabitation increases” (161). In the past, it was more common for couples to first get married and then live together. These days, you see a large number of couples who live together first and then get married, and then there are some couples who live together with no desires to marry the other person. “The increase in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life to take place in the latter half of the 20th century” (Casper, 161). This lifestyle of living with someone before you are married is becoming the norm regardless of whether or not it is better for the people in the relationship or the potential children that can come from the relationship. I think that this trend goes hand in hand with the “hooking-up era”. Our society has moved to a place where it is more and more common to have sex before marriage, so living together as a couple before marriage is not as big of a deal. It is becoming more and more socially acceptable to cohabitate (Casper, 162).
Some people argue that “cohabitation…allows a couple to experience the benefits of an intimate relationship without committing to marriage” (Casper, 162). But it has been found that couple who “cohabitate prior to marriage divorce more often than those who do not” (Casper, 170). I wasn’t really that surprised to hear this. I was on the other hand, surprised to hear that the rate of cohabitation varied indirectly with the level of education. Although “increases in the rates of cohabitation continue to be greater for those with only a high school education than for those with a college education” (Casper, 165), “cohabitation may attract individuals who value more egalitarian, less specialized gender roles”, which I tend to associate with college-educated individuals (Casper, 167). It also does not surprise me that among women who live with their unmarried male partners, they, on average, are a few years older, make more money and have a higher or equal education. These are the kind of women who reject social norms and would support cohabitation without marriage.
In the article, “Marriage is More than Being Together: The meaning of marriage among Young Adults in the United States”, brings to attention and questions the fate of the institution of marriage. The question of whether “commitment to marriage is weakening is merely shifting to a later point in the life course” is brought up (Kefalas, 173). There are many people these days that delay marriage until after they have achieved certain goals, personal or education and career focused. In the questioning of young people about this topic, there was a discussion between friendship and romantic relationships. In my opinion, you should be friends with the person you are romantically involved with. The people surveyed in this article seemed to view the two more separately. “Marriage, once the master status from which all the other milestones of adulthood were achieved, is now something young people are only prepared to do once they feel settled into adult roles” (Kefalas, 177). I do agree that this is very true. It is important to be in love, but these days that isn’t enough for marriage. People want to be financially stable, and be at a good place in their life before “settling down”. But I don’t think that marriage has to be “settling down”. If there are things you want to complete in your life, you can still get married and do them with your husband/wife. Getting married doesn’t mean that life as you know it is over. The many stories that people tell involve maturity and waiting until both partners want the same things out their life. I come from a family where everyone is married and the only uncle I have who is not married has always been single and has never lived with a female before. Most of my aunts and uncles got married, had children and settled into a stereotypical family life, including typical gender roles. I have grown up appreciating marriage and understanding how important it is. Even though this article interviews a variety of young people, it is hard to get a general consensus about young people’s views of marriage. Everybody comes from different upbringing and I think that that can significantly alter your view about this institution.
I found a website called http://www.unmarried.org and their mission statement is, “The Alternatives to Marriage Project (AtMP) advocates for equality and fairness for unmarried people, including people who are single, choose not to marry, cannot marry, or live together before marriage. We provide support and information for this fast-growing constituency, fight discrimination on the basis of marital status, and educate the public and policymakers about relevant social and economic issues. We believe that marriage is only one of many acceptable family forms, and that society should recognize and support healthy relationships in all their diversity.” I found a Youtube video where they discuss the pros and cons of cohabiting before marriage. The examples are very similar to that of the first article (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PItNy3xooPI&feature=related). Being a religious person, I liked this other video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxOnOCpC6gA&feature=related). The girl here speaks about the religious aspect of making a vow. I do believe in marriage as a sacrament, but the girl here makes a good point of saying that when you get married you make a vow, and I think that this is also true. I think it helps to lower the risk of divorce or separation. Lastly, I found a clip from the Gayle King show with a psychologist who discusses living together before marriage and how it has been found that cohabitating before marriage leads to a greater risk of divorce (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js8hj0JPfpw&feature=related).
Lynne Casper states, “The increase in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life of the 20th century” (Casper, 161). In the article, “Cohabitation,” authors Lynn Casper and Suzanne Bianchi examine the trending of cohabitation verses marriage. An Australian video from Youtube exemplifies this growing trend and compares it with marriage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhHasnKKmck ). Marriage consists of two people of the opposite sex adhering to legal, moral, and social rules while having shared expectations. Cohabitation has no set blueprint for general behavior. Marriage and cohabitation do have a few things in common, such as, co-residency, economic interdependence, emotional, psychological, and sexual intimacy. Casper and Bianchi argue that society accepts marriage over cohabitation. Cohabitation has its roots in the later 1960s and early 1970s, with college students experimenting. Over the past decades, cohabitation has increased due to uncertainty about stability of marriage, erosion of norms against cohabitation, premarital sex, birth control, and the weakening of religious influence. In other words, cohabitation is a “try before you buy” kind of thing because it allows both partners to be together, without the expenses and commitment of marriage. This video provides a parody of a couple’s cohabitation commitment (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OcOUKk-zgY ). The article notes, “Shifting norms mean that adults today are more likely to believe that cohabitation and divorce are acceptable and less likely to believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment than was true in the past” (Casper, 164). The biggest shift in unmarried couples is the presence of children (either resulting from cohabitation or a previous relationship). The article further notes that marriage is viewed as sharing roles along with gender roles (both keep the family together, but mom is the homemaker and dad is the breadwinner). Cohabitation, on the other hand, attracts more individualistic, materialistic, less family oriented people. Couples who cohabit have twice as likely to be different races. While cohabitation appears to be a great idea for those who want to “try before they buy,” statistics indicate that those who cohabit before marriage often end in divorce as opposed to those who do not cohabit beforehand.
Switching gears, Maria Kefalas’ article, “Marriage is more than Being Together,” aims to see how young adults view marriage. There are “marriage planners” who regard marriage as a developmental process which progresses over time and is tested by real life circumstances. Then there are “marriage drifters” who think of marriage as inevitable and a natural outcome of an untested relationship. Kefalas argues that young adults, “acknowledge that a successful marriage must allow for greater space for individual lives within and outside the union, what Andrew Cherlin has described as the individualized marriage” (Kefalas, 175). There is little evidence that young adults are rejecting marriage, rather it is early adulthood in the 21st century and high expectations that create obstacles for marriage. An article in USA Today states that young adults are delaying marriage because society and the economy have made it difficult for people in their 20s to be independent. (http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-09-12-census-marriage_N.htm ). Kefalas also argues mentions the concept of marriage mentality, which is accepting the norm of exclusivity for a marital relationship and embracing life-altering responsibilities that status of wife and husband demands. Commitment is another factor that is delaying young adults from marriage. Kefalas argues that the most common problems in a relationship are exclusivity and balance of power. Commitment exists when couples gain intimate knowledge of each other, experience setbacks and decisions together, and learn to communicate and develop trust.
Young adults are having trouble committing due to personal priorities and goals. Kefalas based her article on a study of young adults from the East and West Coast, and Iowa. Through personal interviews, Kefalas made an interesting discovery. Urban and suburban areas consisted of marriage planners, in which marriage is a life goal, after the completion of personal goals. Rural areas tended to consist of marriage drifters, who saw marriage as being a natural outcome of a relationship. Based on the data, Kefalas states, “such regional differences originate in the way metropolitan young people’s lives are filled with a complex array of activities that makes marriage just one of many things that competes for a young person’s time and interest” (Kefalas, 187). For young adults, marriage is more than being together; marriage is cooperatively constructed and embraces the concept of exclusivity. People shouldn’t be getting married just because they have children. In the end, Kefalas concludes that: 1) deep social class and regional differences affect timing of marriage, 2) marriage is not viewed as an event that needs to occur during the transition to adulthood, and 3) marriage is something that takes place after other transitions have occurred. Young adults revere marriage as oppose to rejecting it.
Works Cited:
Cohabitation SUCKS video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OcOUKk-zgY
Jayson, Sharon, “Young Adults Delaying Marriage.” USA Today. 12 Sept 2007
Marriage vs. Cohabitation video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhHasnKKmck
Skolnick, Arlene, and Jerome Skolnick. Family in Transition. 16th ed. Boston: 2011. pp.161-172 and pp 172-189. Print
The article Cohabitation, by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi discusses the statistics of people living together outside of marriage and the main arguments. Unmarried women who were cohabiting tripled from 3 to 9 percent, between 1978 and 1998 (Bianchi163). Unmarried men also increased from 5 percent to 12 percent, between 1978 and 1998 (Bianchi163). The main argument against cohabitation is it is eroding the commitment to marriage and family life. Only 8 percent of marriages in the late 1960’s preceded cohabitation, compared to 56 percent by early mid-1990s (Bianchi164). There are many factors to why cohabitation has increased such as increased uncertainty about marriage, erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside to marriage. Because premarital sex has become more common so has living with your partner before marriage. College students have been connected with cohabitation, 16 percent of men who cohabit are college graduates and among women 17 percent. It is very common to see after divorce of a first marriage many men and women cohabit. Cohabiters are individualistic and less family-orientated. Cohabiters allow for more diversity such as different races and age. But it is evident that those who cohabit don’t last very long.
This YouTube video discusses cohabitation before marriage. Many couples are questioning if they should live together before they get married. Cohabitation allows for expectations for living together because most have not lived with anyone besides their family. Cohabitation allows for couples to learn more about each other such as if they need to grow up more or become more responsible.
The article Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States, by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano discusses the issue of marriage being in trouble and unvalued. The reading is based on the interviews with a diverse group of young people between the ages of 22 to 38 years old. Many believe that there is a difference between friendships and romantic relationships. The communication in romances can be awkward and the communication between friends is “cooperatively constructed” (Kefalas175). There are two different groups the marriage planners who believe marriage is a life goal a marriage drifters view marriage as a natural outcome of relationship. It is evident that many married agreed marriage was harder then they thought.
Cohabitation is an article written by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi that talks to readers about what exactly this phenomenon is, and why our country has seen such an increase in it over the course of the years. Demographers have come up with multiple phrases and words to describe the meaning of this particular living arrangement, some of these including: two people “shacking up”, same-sex couples and “persons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters”, and maybe even just two people who are “sleeping together” (Casper & Bianchi, 161). The authors of this article were trying to figure out whether or not cohabitation among couples might be having a negative effect on the rate and permanence of marriage in the United States. The fact of the matter is, however, “there is far greater societal acceptance of marriage—and far more ambivalence about cohabitation—as a desirable adult relationship for the rearing of children” (Casper & Bianchi, 162). Casper and Bianchi go on to discuss that perhaps cohabitation has taken this country by whirlwind because more and more people have shifted from wanting family commitment and become more concerned about their own personal growth and well-being. A handful of other factors have also effected this alteration, such as “increased uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions” (Casper & Bianchi, 164). In regards to who is cohabitating, the authors found out that couples who simply live together instead of rushing into marriage tend to be composed of different races and backgrounds. Although it is more likely for men to cohabitate, “it is much more common in cohabiting than in marital relationships for the female partner to be older and better educated than her male partner” (Casper & Bianchi, 168).
The second article we were assigned to read is titled Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States, and it was written by a few authors including Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano. This piece really focuses on what young people in today’s society truly think of marriage and how it has altered over time. Like the first article we read, Marriage Is More Than Being Together provides readers with the reasons and explanations as to why marriage has become less and less favored and explored. “The extension of schooling beyond the teen years, the liberalization of sexual behavior, the availability of reliable methods of contraception, changing gender roles, the threat of divorce, and the option to remain single are but a few of the significant influences affecting the timing and attractiveness of marriage” (Kefalas & Furstenberg, 173). The authors go on to talk about how people view marriage differently and are therefore placed into two different categories: “marriage planners “and “marriage drifters”. The marriage planners are a larger group of people who “are inclined to regard marriage as a developmental process which progresses over time and is tested by real-life circumstances” (Kefalas & Furstenberg, 173). The marriage drifters are a smaller population who believe that this notion of marriage occurs because people rush into the relationship and don’t exactly get to test out the waters before getting hitched. They do not necessarily think that the commitment is 100% there at the time that people get married and instead, they view marriage as a pledge for the future and what is to come; whereas “the planners see marriage as the celebration of a commitment that is already established and time tested” (Kefalas & Furstenberg, 173).
Here is a link to a study I came across where the researcher concluded that most couples who cohabitate with one another are not likely to pursue getting married (http://researchnews.osu.edu/archive/cohabit.htm)
I also found a link to a Youtube video which provides a clip from the movie “The Break-Up” and helps to better depict what can go wrong when couples who are not married, but are living together, decide to call it quits on their relationship (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19rq8GptrJ0)
The first article, titled “Cohabitation”, by Casper and Bianchi, discusses the significant change that has taken place in family life due to the increase in heterosexual cohabitation. This article acknowledges how some believe that cohabitation has “eroded commitment to marriage and traditional family life” (Casper 161). The author recognizes that although 91 percent of women ages 45 to 54 had been married once, and 88 percent of women who are younger are likely to eventually marry, the significance and stability may be changing due to cohabitation (Casper 161). An estimated 60 to 70 percent of couples today will live together before marriage (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/08/13/AR2009081304118.html).
The authors mention the similarities between marriage and cohabitation, such as, co-residence, emotional, psychological, and sexual intimacy, and economic interdependence to a certain extent. However, there is also very important ways in which they differ; marriage is a legal relationship between two people that adheres to moral and social rules, whereas cohabitation has no “social blueprint or script for appropriate behavior” (Casper 162). Also, even though cohabitation is becoming more common and accepted, marriage has far greater societal acceptance as a desirable adult relationship, especially when children are involved. Over the years, cohabitation has been increasing, it tripled for women from 1978 to 1998 going from 3 percent to 9 percent, and the same pattern occurred for men, going from 5 percent to 12 percent (Casper 163). Approximately 9.6% of all opposite-sex couples living together in 2007 were unmarried (http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-28-cohabitation-research_N.htm) . One simple explanation given for the increase in cohabitation, and its growing population, is if the relationship is not successful, one can simply move out, whereas this is not the case with marriage.
In married relationships, families often find it beneficial to specialize their activities, while those who choose to cohabitate are those who value more egalitarian and less specialized roles. Cohabitors are also more tolerant of divorce and half of all cohabitations last a year or less; only about one-sixth last 3 years, and only one-tenth last 5 years or more (Casper 167). Overall, cohabitation has continued to increase dramatically over a short time period which creates worry about the effects of this relatively new family dynamic on the tradition of marriage.
The second article, “Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States”, by Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano, discusses the concept and possible transformation of marriage. Although some may believe that marriage is on the decline due to factors such as rising divorce rates, increased cohabitation, and nonmarital childbearing, however the authors believe that marriage is actually just converting due to contemporary conditions. Many aspects have redesigned the concept of marriage, affecting the timing and appeal of it, such as longer schooling, availability of contraceptives, threat of divorce, and many more (Kefalas 173).
The author mentions two groups, the marriage planners, who see marriage as a life goal, but acknowledge that there are other options that may consume ones attention, and the marriage drifters, who view marriage as a natural outcome of a relationship (Kefalas 177). After achieving personal, educational, and career goals, marriage planners believe one may or may not be prepared to settle into marriage (Kefalas 178). Adults are ambivalent about marriage early in life because of the high demands connected with building a strong marriage and the pressure of achieving financial stability. In the past marriage was seen as a transition into adulthood, whereas, in the present marriage is something that occurs after one has grown and become successful.
This youtube video compares cohabitation with marriage and includes statistics. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQ7mYAOJwgc . This website also gives information and statistics, especially on divorce rates of couples who live together first. http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-28-cohabitation-research_N.htm
The article, Cohabitation, by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi deals discusses the term “cohabitation.” Cohabitation can refer to same-sex couples but most of the demographic research conducted deals with opposite sex couples and it’s when couples are living together, sharing the same living quarters. The increase in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life to take place in the latter half o the 20th century. There are some people who think that the increase in cohabitation has decreased the commitment to marriage and “traditional” family life (Casper and Bianchi, 161). There are aspects that Cohabiting and marital relationships have in common and then there are aspects where these two relationships differ. Coresidence; emotional, psychological and sexual intimacy and some degree of economic interdependence are that they have in common. They differ because marriage is a relationship between two people of opposite sexes that adheres to legal, moral and social rules, a social institution that rests upon common values and shared expectations for appropriate behavior within the partnership but there recognized blueprint for the appropriate behavior of cohabitors, or for the behavior of the friends, families and other individuals and institutions with whom they interact (Casper and Bianchi, 161). There is data that shows that cohabitation has only been increasing with time and the reasons for this occurring is due to an increased uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitations and sexual relations outside of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions. Cohabitation also reduces the costs of partnering, especially if one is uncertain about a potential mate. “CPS trends, based on indirect estimates, indicate that about 16 percent of men who cohabit are college graduates; this figure has remained quite stable over time” (Casper and Bianchi, 161). Not only is cohabitation increasing among people who have not entered a first marriage, it is also slowing the rate of remarriage after divorce.
This article I found an article that argues that cohabitation is replacing dating. An interesting fact that I found on this article says “More than two-thirds of married couples in the USA now say they lived together before marriage. And the number of unmarried, opposite-sex households overall is rising dramatically — even in seven states where laws against intimate relations between unmarried partners are still on the books.” This article sets the tone similar to the article by Casper and Bianchi in that they see cohabitation as a negative impact on society.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-07-17-cohabitation_x.htm
I don’t think cohabitation in necessarily a negative concept. I think that if two people want to live together and not ever get married then they shouldn’t have to feel pressured to do so. I think that marriage is not meant for everyone and it’s a serious commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly. I don’t think it’s a problem that more and more young couples are living together before getting married because if they really don’t know each other well enough, then getting married is only going to lead to a divorce.
Another article I found discusses the differences between cohabitation and marriage. It says that both men and women in cohabiting relationships are more likely to be unfaithful to their partners than married people. Also, it discusses the impact that cohabitation has on children. “Some people believe that if cohabiting couples have children together, then they must be committed and stable. However, cohabitations with children are even more likely to break up than childless ones. About 15 percent of one-parent families are created through the break-up of cohabiting unions. One study found that less than ten per cent of women who have their first child in a cohabiting relationship are still cohabiting ten years later. About 40 per cent will have married, but 50 percent will be lone unmarried mothers because their relationships have broken up.”
http://www.civitas.org.uk/hwu/cohabitation.php
The article, Marriage is More Than Being Together: the Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States, by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg and Lara Napolitano discusses reasons why people are for marriage and reasons why people are against marriage. Married pessimists point to rising divorce rates, increased levels of cohabitation, the advent of gay marriage, nonmarital childbearing and the fact that Americans spend fewer of their adult years married (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano, 173). A reason why young people are delaying marriage is because they want to make sure they finish their education and have a stable job first. There is not a lot of evidence that young people completely reject marriage, they just need to feel settled into adulthood before getting married. The article points out a group of people called “marriage planners” have marriage as a goal but it is just one of many options that can command young people’s immediate attention. Those who view marriage as a natural outcome of a relationship are called “marriage drifters.” Marriage planners believe in being ready for marriage means that you are “settled, mature and having achieved personal, education and career goals” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano, 173). Another aspect of marriage planners is that marriage must be a commitment as an on-going effort in which romantic partners think of one another as “us”. This is done by gaining intimate knowledge of each other, experiencing decisions and setbacks together and learning to communicate and develop a sense of mutual trust. Marriage drifters believe that marriage flows inevitable from a relationship of a certain time period.
This article provides facts on young couples who are postponing marriage for various reasons.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-09-12-census-marriage_N.htm
Works Cited
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188 Print.
“USATODAY.com – ‘Cohabitation Is Replacing Dating'” News, Travel, Weather, Entertainment, Sports, Technology, U.S. & World – USATODAY.com. 18 July 2005. Web. 05 Oct. 2011. .
“Cohabitation.” CIVITAS: the Institute for the Study of Civil Society. Web. 05 Oct. 2011. .
Jayson, Sharon, and Anthony DeBarros. “Young Adults Delaying Marriage – USATODAY.com.” News, Travel, Weather, Entertainment, Sports, Technology, U.S. & World – USATODAY.com. Web. 05 Oct. 2011. .
As Lynee Casper and Suzanne Bianchi state, cohabitation can refer to persons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters, sleeping together and even living together. In the concluding half of the 20th century, one of the most significant changes in family life is due in part to the increase in cohabitation. Cohabitation, some believe, has eroded commitment to marriage and traditional family life (Casper, Bianchi, p. 161). As the Institute for the Study of Civil Society has stated and researched, “On average, cohabitations last less than two years before breaking up or converting to marriage. Less than four per cent of cohabitations last for ten years or more. Cohabiting also influences later marriages. The more often and the longer that men and women cohabit, the more likely they are to divorce later” (http://www.civitas.org.uk/hwu/cohabitation.php).
Cohabitation has increased so dramatically over the years due to many factors including increased uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, birth control availabilities, and the weakening of religious constraints on individuals’ family decisions. Today, the norms have shifted away from believing that divorce is unacceptable and that marriage is a lifelong commitment. Self-fulfillment is now replacing favoring family commitment and self-sacrifice, in today’s society.
Research has shown that cohabitation may attract individuals who value less specialized gender roles. For example, the house work and chores are more likely to be divided equally. Also, cohabitation may be attractive to those who enjoy a lot of individual freedom and have a less family-oriented outlook on life.
The next article, Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States, by M. Kefalas, F. Furstenberg, and L. Napolitano, begins to discuss what Americans truly think of marriage and how it has changed over time. The authors discuss a number of reasons that have reshaped young people’s notion of marriage, such as extension of schooling beyond the teen years, the changing ways of sexual behavior, the availability of reliable birth control methods (as discussed in the first article as well), changing gender roles, the threat of divorce, and the option of reaming single.
The article goes on to talk about how young people have modified the ideal form of marriage and how they are looking for a partner who compliments their life goals and lifestyles, along with their individual interests. The authors discuss features of the “marriage planners” and how these individuals must acquire a “marriage mentality.” These two things are self-directed and contingent on other life circumstances as before, there were more external pressures to wed (religious institutions, the state, etc) (p. 185). USA TODAY talks about how relationships today are much different than they were in the 30’s and 40’s; marrying older is the norm now compared to years ago, when the norm age was around 20. The article discusses that it just takes some time to “seal the deal.” The interviews included in the article discuss how living together and prolonging the relationship can lead to the decrease in amount of surprises that come up. Each individual knows what to expect and how the other will react in certain situations after they have spent numerous years together before marriage. The video included in the article discusses that economic hardships have come in-between “tying the knot.” The significant decline in wedding (40 and 45 % percent decline in weddings) is in part due to the high costs of weddings during economic hardships.
Works Cited:
Skolnick, Arlene, and Jerome Skolnick. Family in Transition. 16th ed. Boston: 2011.
pp.161-172 and pp 172-189. Print.
The Institute for the Study of Civil Society, “The Facts Behind Cohabitation.” Civitas.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2010-06-22-10yearcourtship22_CV_N.htm
In the article “Cohabitation” written by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi focuses on couples who are living together and are not married and the main arguments. The increase in heterosexual cohabitation has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life (Casper and Bianchi 161). The main argument against cohabitation is it is corroding the commitment to marriage and family life. Most adults in the U.S eventually marry, studies shown that 91 percent of women 45-54 in 1998 were married at least once. About 88 percent of women in younger partners are likely to get married eventually. “But the meaning and permanence of marriage may be changing as cohabitation increases” (Casper and Bianchi 161). There are many relying factors to why cohabitation has increased. Some reasons such as increased doubt about marriage, erosion of standards against cohabitation and sexual relations outside to marriage. College students have been connected with cohabitation, 16 percent of men who cohabit are college graduates and among women 17 percent. Cohabiters are characteristic and less family-orientated. It is evident that those who cohabit don’t last very long, half of all cohabitations last a year or less. About one-sixth of cohabitations last about three years and one-tenth about five years or more. Currently the majority of individuals live with partners before they marry. Here I have found a link to the divorce rates do to cohabitation and some statistics and reasons that end in divorce.
http://divorcerate2011.com/divorce-statistics/divorce-rates-for-cohabitation/
The article Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States, by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano discusses the issue of marriage being in trouble and reasons why people are for marriage and reasons why people are against marriage. Reasons for spending less years married are due to the increased levels of cohabitation, gay marriage, and childbearing without a steady partner. Today we see couples delaying marriage because they want to make sure they will have a steady job to support their family. Reliable methods of contraception, the threat of divorce and the option to remain single are a few influences that are likewise affecting the timing of marriage. One point to this article is “marriage planners” have marriage as a goal but it is just one of many options, while the goal of a “marriage drifter” views marriage as a natural outcome of relationship. Many believe that there is a difference between friendships and romantic relationships. The communication in romances can be awkward and the communication between friends is “cooperatively constructed” (Kefalas175). Many married people can say that marriage was much harder than they would have thought. Today data surveys show deep social class and regional differences in the timing of marriage. Adults no longer regard marriage as an event that needs to occur during the transition to adulthood. Today a growing number of adults think marriage as something that takes place after other transitions have occurred.
One of the most significant changes to family life in the latter half of the 20th century has been how marriage has taken a backseat to heterosexual cohabitation which has become more of the norm. Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi wonder in their article “Cohabitation” whether or not cohabitation will eventually replace marriage. They conclude that it will not. Even though society’s views are changing towards premarital sex, having children out of wedlock and divorce, most of the people interviewed by Casper and Bianchi still hold onto the “dream” of a marriage. It was also discovered that “cohabitors are less likely than marrieds to support or be financially responsible for their partners. They more often have separate bank accounts. Male cohabitors are more likely to value personal leisure and individual freedom. But this individual freedom may come with a price: they do not reap the benefits of a deeper and more intimate relationship”. (http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/issues/2001/January/cohabitation.htm)
Marriage is more widely accepted than cohabiting in society, with some believing that cohabitation is ruining traditional family life, especially when it comes to raising children. Many believe that cohabiting will hinder the child, whereas having two married parents is a more stable way of living. “Children born to unmarried couples have a higher risk of experiencing their parents’ separation than do children born to married couples.” (Casper and Bianchi, 166)
Many believe that cohabitation began in the late 1960s-1970s when sexually promiscuous college students began secretly “shacking up”, shocking their parents and creating a whole new family form. Many believed that “cohabitation is eroding commitment to marriage and family life.” (Casper and Bianchi, 163) But the taboo of “living in sin” has lessened significantly.
Today’s young couples are more likely to cohabit than go straight into marriage. Cohabitation has increased for a few reasons, two of them being the uncertainty that comes with marriage and access to more available birth control. With marriage, there are ties attached, such as the legal matters should a divorce occur, whereas with a cohabiting relationship one can simply just move out. “American values have shifted from those favoring family commitment and self-sacrifice to those favoring self-fulfillment, individual growth, and personal freedom” (Casper and Bianchi, 164) and “less specialized, gender roles.” (Casper and Bianchi, 167) The YouTube video “Is Marriage Obsolete” shows Rev. Dr. Marilyn Sewell delivering a sermon about the problems with marriage and relationships. She believes that it is unnatural to love just one other person ‘til death do us part’ and that faithfulness is a fantasy. I was surprised to hear a reverend state that marriage is becoming obsolete.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtEtha3JoLM&feature=related)
The article “Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano discusses the steady decline of marriage as a social institution. While the authors say that there is a shift in the meaning of marriage, most Americans today still want to get married.
Today, young people are only prepared to marry when they feel settled and are mature enough in their roles. “In years past, being married meant you were an adult, today you have to be an adult to be married.” (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano, 177) The authors divide people into two categories: the marriage planners (people who want to get marriage but progress slowly, testing the waters) and the marriage drifters (people who have been in a relationship for a long time and regard marriage as inevitable). Most young people these days are delaying marriage, but not ruling it out altogether. They don’t look at cohabitating as a replacement for marriage, but rather as an “intermediate phase”. Many people simple move in together because they are ready for something new in their relationship. (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano, 182)
One surprising notion of young adults nowadays is that when they are looking for a life partner, they are looking for more of a friendship relationship rather than a romantic relationship. “Romances suffer from ‘heightened emotionality’ and power ‘asymmetries’ while friendships are settled and characterized by ‘balanced reciprocity’ ” (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano, 176) Although there is a shift in the meaning of marriage, most Americans still want to get married but also want to achieve some level of success, both personal and professional, before jumping into marriage.
In the article “Cohabitation,” written by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, we see a distinction between living arrangements (cohabitation), relationships between two people and how they have changed throughout time. Cohabitation is described as living together, shacking up, sleeping together, living in sin and etc. but this term can be used for same-sex and opposite-sex partners. Some say that cohabitation has torn commitment to marriage and living a “traditional” family life. Marriage, back in the day, used to be the demographic event that almost exclusively marked the formation of a new household, the beginning of sexual relations and the birth of a child. Around the 1970s, cohabitation has been socially accepted outside of marriage and the “exclusive events” assumed to be taking place outside of marriage. Between 1978 and 1998, the cohabitation rate has tripled among unmarried women from 3% to 9%. It was similar for men as it jumped from 5% to 12%. The rise in this social acceptance has been originated from college students according to Casper and Bianchi. We see that within cohabitation, if the male is has a high salary but not the female; they will usually proceed more quickly to marriage. Statistically we see that half of all cohabitations last a year or less; only about one-sixth last at least 3 years and only one-tenth last 5 years or more. I personally think that cohabiting is good for serious couple because if a couple was to get married before living with each other and they do not like how each other lives, then the marriage will not regardless of how they feel for each other. Here is a link to what Americans think about cohabiting and also comparing stats of married and cohabiting couples. http://www.unmarried.org/statistics.html#raceðnicity
In the article, “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” written by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano, we see marriage as a whole for young adults and how there has been a difference from marriage in the past to marriage now. Marriage in the past was something that was precious and very genuine and emotional. Not saying that it isn’t anymore, just saying that marriage is something that is turning into a scare or something that is not needed for young adults. We see this because the rates of divorcing are rising; contraceptives are being used so they can have constant sex without worrying about a child, changing gender roles and sex being something that is not a symbol of a bond between partners. Reaching personal goals in life is another reason why marriage age has been pushed back (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano, 173). There are two distinctive types of people who look at marriage. There are marriage planners, which are people who see marriage as a life goal but are only one of many options in their lives. The other group is marriage drifters, which are people who see marriage as a natural outcome of a relationship. Marriage planners want to be prepared for the path that lies ahead of them. Some things that marriage planners want to perfect before walking down the aisle is maturity, financial status, career and personal goals, and education (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano, 178). Young adults, like college students and fresh-out of school adults, hold this view of marriage. This is not as easy as it sounds though. Even if all the requirements that marriage planners have are fulfilled, they still might not be mentally and/or emotionally ready to make that commitment to their partner. I personally believe that you should be prepared in all aspects of life before making that marriage step. The reason I believe this is because you do not want to look back at your life, while you are married, and think “I cannot believe I passed on this opportunity to get married.” Another reason is that you would not want to jump into a marriage commitment struggling on your own. You would want to have everything in order in your life and be emotionally and mentally ready for that next step. Here is a link for the statistics on marriage and divorce rates. http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/351
In the article “Cohabitation”, it discusses living arrangements between people and how they can change over time. Casper says “The increase in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life to take place in the latter half of the 20th century” (Casper, 161). This means that there is an increase in two people living together and that has impacted when people get married. In the past it was normal for people to get married then live together but now more and more people are living together than they will get married. It is becoming more common for people to live together than get married but in some cases people may not end up marrying each other. “One of the strongest findings is that those who cohabit prior to marriage divorce more often than those who do not” (Casper, 170). The reason that people who live together before marriage are more likely to divorce than those who wait is because “partners discover irreconcilable differences before they tie the knot” (Casper, 170).
In the youtube video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC-yse57xjU, it talks about how two people should move in together if they love each other. It is also a good idea to move in together before marriage because people may need to mature and become more responsible. This will also give couples time to learn more about each other before they commit to being married.
The article “Marriage is More than Being Together: The meaning of marriage among Young Adults in the United States”, talks about how marriage may be in trouble. “Marriage is not disappearing, so much as being transformed by a host of contemporary conditions, not only in the U.S. but also in virtually all industrialized countries throughout the world”(Kefalas, 173). This quote is explaining that while many people are not getting married at early ages, people are still marrying just in different ways and at different points in their lives. People today, especially women, are more career driven and before they settle down with a man and have kids they want to have an established career so they can support themselves and their families. I think it is a good idea for both people in the marriage to be financially stable for themselves in case of divorce or any other circumstances that may occur. It is important for people to get married for love and not get married in a hurry because of stereotypes.
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188.
The article “Cohabitation” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi tackles the topic of couples living together that are not married. This practice is known as cohabitation and has been on the rise ever since the late 60’s. There is no problem with the practice itself, the authors are just speculating if it is ruining the “traditional marriage” lifestyle.
As the authors say, “Cohabiting and marital relationships have much in common: co-residence; emotional, psychological, and sexual intimacy; and some degree of economic interdependence.”(Casper, Bianchi 162) The only difference between the two is that in a marriage there are legal, moral, and social rules that go along with it. When cohabitation became popular the image of those practicing it were college students that were breaking away from their parents rules. Today, many people would say that living together is essential to fully know your significant other.
The idea of cohabitation has increased so much over time because people are much more skeptical about the stability of marriage nowadays. Birth control and the lessening of the religious aspect have also led people to live together without being married. Many people believe that cohabitation is just easier. As the authors say, “If a cohabiting relationship is not successful, one can simply move out; if a marriage is not successful, one suffers through a sometimes lengthy and messy divorce.” (Casper, Bianchi 164) Another big change in the social scene is the fact that unmarried couples are having children. In 1998 thirty-seven percent of unmarried couples had children under the age of eighteen.
Research has told us that cohabitation is much more appealing to people who value a more egalitarian view of gender roles. This means that in these partnerships the man is not always the breadwinner, and the woman is not always the homemaker. For couples that are not conventional, cohabiting is a great solution. The only concerns about the practice are that it is lessening the sanctity of marriage, but nowadays many couples live together prior to marriage, to know that they are ready for marriage.
The article, “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” written by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano poses the question whether the world around us today has ruined marriage. With the increase in use of contraceptives and decrease in gender roles, many people believe that marriage is no longer useful. In addtion to these reasons many people nowadays want to become professionals and be able to travel and achieve personal goals, which means that marriage is not in the cards for them.
Fifty years ago all literature and professionals would give the advice that marriage has many advantages and should be engaged in by people. Today with the divorce rate so high there is a good deal of literature and many people that will tell you that marriage is not a good idea and should not be pursued. While many young people today do not necessarily reject marriage, they do no agree with it and will not pursue it. Also the couples that do get together, buy a house, and have children do not necessarily want to get married. The young people who do want to get married today feel like they must have a base under them and a steady income before they commit. As the authors say, “Marriage, once the master status from which all the other milestones of adulthood were achieved, is now something young people are only prepared to do once they feel settled into adult roles.” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 177) A fact that most people who not assume to be true is that people with a higher education put off marriage and child bearing longer than those without a higher education. Most people without a higher education usually wait around the same amount of time to get married, but those with less education do not wait as long to have children.
This link puts marriage and cohabitation up against each other, listing the pros and cons of each: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhHasnKKmck
This link addresses the question that many couples have, Should we live together before we get married? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1pnkynWccw&feature=related
In the first article Cohabitation by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, it states that has been increasing throughout the years. Cohabitation is persons of opposite or same sex sharing living quarters. (Casper&Cianchi 163) A few reasons is has been increasing dramatically is because there is an increased uncertainty about the stability of marriage, erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, availability of reliable birth control, weakening of religions and other normative constraints on individuals families decisions. (Casper&Bianchi 164) Some think there is no difference of being married or cohabiting, they say there is lots in common; such as, co residence, emotional, psychological and sexual intimacy. (Casper&Bianchi 162) Some also argue that is reduces the costs of parenting. (Casper&Bianchi164) Most people who cohabitate are less educated and only have a high school diploma rather than a college degree. (Casper&Bianchi 165) Other benefits of cohabitating are the housework is more divided, longer relationships when they earn the same pay, there is more individual freedom which some same is more important than marriage, they are accepting of divorce and is more attractive to those who are more materialistic and less family orientated. (Casper&Bianchi 167)
The next article, Marriage is More Than Being Together, by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg and Laura Napolitano, shows what different people think about living together, cohabitating, and getting married while in school, not being ready to settle down or just starting a career and setting their goals they want to achieve. They also describe marriage planners, who are inclined to regard marriage as developmental process which progresses over time; while a smaller amount of people, marriage drifters, continue to think of marriage as inevitable and a natural outcome of an early and untested relationship. (Kefalas 173) The author states that young adults acknowledge that a successful marriage must allow for greater space for individual live within and outside the union. (Kefalas 175) Along with these young adults, they do not think of marriage as an event that needs to occur during the transition to adulthood. (Kefalas 187) A 29 year old mother from Minnesota stated, “The moment we got married it changed. It changed because now it was like we knew it was a serious thing, a serious commitment and to just walk away was something you should not do quickly…I pretty much believe in sticking something out.” (Kefalas 187)
In my opinion cohabitating is a great way for a couple to get to know each other better if they want to eventually get married someday. This will give them the opportunity to see how the other saves their money, contributes to household chorus, and possibly deal with family problems or family in general. They may see the other person cannot save money and is always spending it; in my eyes I would not want to be with someone who does not know how to save money. This would not be good in the long run; a couple could end up in serious debt. Or even as simple as household chorus; I would want someone who is going to help me out, not someone who sits on the couch and watches television and not contribute to anything.
• This article describes how cohabitation is becoming more seen than marriage. Chris Meney the director of life, marriage and family center in Sydney discusses all the issues.
• Physiologists describe different ways and things that happen during cohabitation; see how others are more mature or contribute to the house.
Works Cited
Skolnick, Arlene S., and Jerome H. Skolnick. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon/Pearson, 2011. 161-70. Print.
Skolnick, Arlene S., and Jerome H. Skolnick. “Marriage Is More than Being Together.”Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon/Pearson, 2011. 172-89. Print.
Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi write about how cohabitation has changed over the past few decades. They write that now people are living together without having plans of getting married.
Casper and Bianchi used phrases like living together and shacking up as terms used when people would think of cohabitation. One huge factor that they write about is that the increase in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce (Casper 161).
In the reading, Casper writes that unmarried heterosexual cohabitation began to capture national attention during and after the period of well-publicized student unrest on college campuses in the late 1960s and early 70s (Casper 163). The change was due to the new image of living with boyfriends and girlfriends rather than marrying before living together.
Casper writes that cohabitation may be attractive to those with more individualistic, more materialistic and less family orientated outlooks on life (Casper 167). Now in present time some people may be looking for a life without commitment or a significant other but wants to live with another person.
In Marriage is More Than Being Together, Maria Kefalas writes about how marriage is in danger. She writes that Marriage has a lot of down sides to it like the rising divorce rates increased levels of cohabitation and other factors (Kefalas 172).
She also writes about a post romantic era, where before the common thing to do was get married and live with a family. In present day now it isn’t until later in life that people may start looking for a partner to spend their life with. In the reading it talks about a single 28-year-old woman who is living in New York that has no time for romance volatility and passion’s unpredictability now that she is mature and has a single child. She said, “When you’re younger you go out and you have boyfriends, but when you’re older you don’t see people in the same way (Kefalas 175).
Kefalas also writes about how marriage is not the first thing young people may think about when they are looking toward the future. They want to complete personal goals first before they even consider marriage (Kefalas 179). Also younger people are taking a different approach to marriage with ways like cohabitation saying that they are ready for the next phase of a commitment to partner.
In an article by the USA Today, studies have shown that cohabitation is taking away as marriages are taking a backseat. From 1960 to 2000 the number of unmarried couples living together increased tenfold. Now in America there are about 10 million people living with a partner of opposite sex. In the article is has brief interviews with people about living together and how they chose to live together first before marrying or just living together as an unmarried couple ( http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-07-17-cohabitation_x.htm).
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188 Print.
Lynn M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi’s article Cohabitation discusses the reasons for the recent increase in unmarried cohabitation. Cohabitating relationships have a lot in common with marriages: they both often require emotional, psychological, and sexual intimacy as well as economic interdependence. However, these two forms of relationships also differ: cohabitating relationships lack legal, moral, and social rules and expectations (Casper and Bianchi 162).
Casper and Bianchi explain that cohabitation started in the late 1960’s among college students, but has increased so dramatically as of late because of a number of factors. Young couples today are uncertain about the stability of marriage and also have easier access to birth control. Furthermore, social norms have changed; religion now plays less of a role in society than it used to, and having cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriages has become more acceptable (Casper and Bianchi 164). Those in favor of unmarried cohabitation argue that these relationships make having a partner more affordable, and also is a way to “test” compatibility without making any legal commitments.
Cohabitation has spread to different groups of people. It is now becoming increasingly more common among the uneducated, and has shifted to older couples as well (most apparent after a first marriage ends). Even when children are a part o the equation, marriage is not viewed as a necessity. Cohabitation is an especially popular option among “unconventional” couples, for example couples of two different races or couples with a woman who is older or earns more money (Casper and Bianchi 167). Casper and Bianchi conclude by making clear that although the popularity of cohabitation has increased, it will not be a substitute for marriage.
Authors of the article Marriage is More Than Being Together examine how young adults in the United States today view marriage. They classify young adults into two categories: marriage planners (most commonly from Urban areas) view marriage as process that develops over time, and marriage drifters (usually from rural areas) believe marriage is a natural and inevitable step (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 173).
The authors explain that the view of marriage among young adults has been modified due to a number of conditions. The popular belief among many young adults today is that an individualized marriage is the most successful, where there is space for each individual to grow outside the union (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 173). They also discovered that friendship and comfort was more of a priority than romantic love. The authors also explained that the common opinion now is that for two individuals to get married they must both be adults. This often includes having already achieved educational and career goals, and also accepting the marriage mentality of exclusivity and responsibility (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 179). The authors found that men are usually reluctant to get married because they are hesitant to lose some power and their ability to be selfish, while women worry most about losing their self-identity and being dominated by the man (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 181).
In this clip, a panelist of men in varying situations (single, taken, divorced, married…)from Smart Talk discusses whether or not living together before getting married is beneficial or not:
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188 Print.
Sorry, that link is a different video…here is the link to the Smart Talk video : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ajE3K8zbjo
The first article discusses the topic of cohabitation. Cohabitation is when a couple decides to be living together without being married. The article examines how cohabitation affects the idea and values involved in marriage along with the idea of divorce. Casper and Bianchi discuss ideas such as, if people who decide to become cohabitants are already open to the idea of divorce before they are even married or living together. In contrast, cohabitation is discussed in a different light. Some view pre marital cohabitation as a way to really decide and learn things about your particular partner. Moving out of a living environment after a break up is seen as much easier and less costly than a marriage ending in divorce.
The authors also examine the affects on forming families. Marriage used to be the event couples strived towards. Often times this even meant a new family would shortly be formed. After marriage it was expected a house, child, and other traditional family ideas would be implemented. Now, cohabitation is more common and accepted. Young people see less of a need or desire to get married. Casper and Bianchi say, “The increasing social acceptance of cohabitation outside marriage has meant that these linkages can no longer be assumed”(Casper Bianchi 162).
Although cohabitation is associated mostly with younger people, rates of cohabitation amongst older citizens are rising. From 1978 till 1998 the percentage of cohabitates in there mid 30s or older has increased, along with the age of people who are to get married. It is fair to say that people in today’s society, regardless of their choice to get married and or to cohabitate, are more concerned with their own personal lives and setting up a safe controlled life of their own first before bringing on another person or persons into their life.
The second article discusses if the idea of marriage is becoming less of a desired goal than it traditionally was. The authors say “Marriage pessimists point to rising divorce rates, increased levels of cohabitation, the advent of gay marriage, nonmarital childbearing, and the fact that Americans spend fewer of their adult years married as evidence of the steady and seemingly inexorable decline of marriage as a social instiution”(Keflas Furstenberg Napolitano 173). Young people today are less concerned with marriage due to such things as extending their schooling, divorce, sexual liberation, and the option to stay single.
The article also discusses aspects of marriage that could be attributed to the decrease in marriages. In today’s society marriages are much more difficult to sustain economically than they previously were. To even have a wedding cost large amounts of money itself. Young people today have an ideal situation they foresee for themselves. Young people want to now be settled into a steady role within society before they want to be married.
As mentioned before, sexual liberation is one possible cause of people’s decreased interest in marriage. People today want to explore and enjoy what they have of their lives before they decide to settle down. The mental aspect of marriage and settling down with one person is a large step that one must take. Some people are not ready for such responsibilities and resist the idea until they are comfortable and ready. Committing to a marriage and one person comes with many different aspects that change someone’s life permanently and affect their futures greatly. To me in today’s society this choice must be more carefully examined before accepting and committing to another person for the rest of your life. Molding what one believes to be an ideal marriage, regardless of traditional or not, must be achieved and agreed upon between the two adults before they can settle down together.
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0005061.html
This link brings you to a table that shows the median age of men and women when they were first married in the United States from 1890 to 2010.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-09-delayed-marriage_N.htm
This link discusses the idea of why couples wait till they are older to get married. The link gives a story of a real life couple that put off marriage till later in their lives due to extended schooling and careers.
In “Cohabitation” by Casper and Bianchi, the increase in heterosexual cohabitation being attributed to the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is analyzed. Cohabitation is the sharing of living quarters between two people (usually heterosexual) who are not married. Some individuals believe that the increase in cohabitation has eroded commitment to marriage and “traditional” family life. Those who view cohabitation in this particular light are often opposed to this lifestyle. Some believe that the meaning and permanence of marriage may be changing as cohabitation increases (Bianchi and Casper 161). Marriage used to be the demographic event that almost exclusively marked the formation of a new household, the beginning of sexual relations, and the birth of a child. Because there has been an increasing social acceptance of cohabitation outside marriage, these linkages can no longer be assumed. Marriage and cohabitation differ in several ways. Marriage is a relationship between two people of opposite sexes that adheres to legal, moral, and social rules, and rests upon common values and shared expectations for appropriate behavior within the partnership. In contrast, Cohabitation involves no widely recognized social blueprint or script for the appropriate behavior of cohabitators (Bianchi and Casper 162). Factors including increased uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions have been attributed to the increased cohabitation rates. Supporters of cohabitation believe that cohabitation reduces the costs of partnering, and allows a couple to experience the benefits of an intimate relationship without committing to marriage which can be very burdensome and complicated to get out of unlike cohabitant partners who can simply move out to get out of their situation (Bianchi and Casper 164). Cohabitation also provides a living arrangement that suits couples who may be somewhat uncertain about whether their partnerships can be sustained over the long run. The overall shifting of American values from those favoring family commitment and self-sacrifice to those favoring self-fulfillment, individual growth, and personal freedom has also been suggested to play an integral part in the increased cohabitation rates. It was found that those who practice cohabitation, may also be more individualistic, more materialistic, and have less family-oriented outlooks on life than those who believe in marriage (Bianchi and Casper 164). Education also tends to be strongly negatively correlated to rates of cohabitation before first marriage, and the highest rates are usually found among the least educated (Bianchi and Casper 164). In some European countries, cohabitation increasingly seems to function as a substitute for marriage, with couples unlikely to marry before the birth of their children (Bianchi and Casper 166). After reading the last few articles for class, it has been noted by many of the authors that the differences in the ideology between the United States and Europe are quite vast in many aspects of ones lifestyle. From what I’ve gathered, it seems to me that European countries are less stigmatized by the social pressures they experience from society than we are in the U.S. which causes there to be many lifestyle differences between the two nations. The importance of gender roles within marriage and cohabitation are highlighted. In marriage, the gender role difference has meant that women tend to seek spouses with higher education and earnings than themselves (men should be breadwinners) and men tend to look for women who will be good mothers and homemakers. In cohabitation, many of the individuals value more egalitarian, less specialized, gender roles (Bianchi and Casper 167). Not only is cohabitation increasing among people who have not entered a first marriage, it is also slowing the rate of remarriage after divorce or separation. One of the most surprising discoveries that Bianchi and Casper found was that those who cohabit prior to marriage divorce more often than those who do not (Bianchi and Casper 170). I would have thought that living together prior to marriage would help foster a stable relationship because partners could find irreconcilable differences before they proceed to marry, but I guess this is not the case.
In “Marriage is more than Being Together” by Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano, the shaping/changing of American notions of marriage is addressed as well as the belief that marriage is disappearing. Pessimists who believe that marriage is disappearing point to rising divorce rates, increased levels of cohabitation, the advent of gay marriage, nonmarital childbearing, and the fact that Americans spend fewer of their adult years married (Kefalas Furstenberg Napolitano 172). Those who counter this argument state that these changes reflect a shift in the meaning and function of marriage and that marriage is not disappearing, so much as being transformed by a plethora of contemporary conditions in the U.S. and throughout the world (Kefalas Furstenberg Napolitano 172). Schooling beyond the teen years, the liberalization of sexual behavior, the availability of reliable methods of contraception, changer gender roles, the threat of divorce, and the option to remain single are all examples of influences that have been noted to affect the timing and overall attractiveness of marriage to young people today. The idea of needing a well-paying job and being financially stable before entering marriage is shared by many of those who put marriage on hold (Kefalas Furstenberg Napolitano 173). It is because of this, that many young individuals today put personal goals ahead of marriage on their list of priorities. Most young adults acknowledge that a successful marriage must allow for greater space for individual lives within and outside the union. The word “romance” is also generally undervalued to most young people when talking about relationships. Romantic communication within a relationship can be awkward for some, which results in shifting the dialogue to more of a friendship-like line of communication. Communication between friends is usually described as relaxed and marked by social ease which is why so many more young people prefer this type of communication in a relationship (Kefalas Furstenberg Napolitano 175). It is because of this mode of communication, that comfort in knowing one another is one of the most valued features of a successful marriage. The article defines two types of people who view marriage: “marriage planners” and “marriage drifters.” To “marriage planners”, marriage remains a life goal, but it’s just one of many options that can command a young individual’s immediate attention. To “marriage drifters”, marriage is a natural outcome of a relationship that has endured over a period of time (Kefalas Furstenberg Napolitano 177). “Marriage mentality” is also said to be a must-have in regards to getting married. “Marriage mentality” includes accepting the norm of exclusivity for a marital relationship and embracing life-altering responsibilities (Kefalas Furstenberg Napolitano 179). Complaints from both sexes are also put into account when understanding why fewer people have the desire to get married. It is said that in many marriages that men often complain about their wives not allowing them to be selfish and do the things they want and women complain that their husbands are too controlling and feel like they are owned by their spouse (Kefalas Furstenberg Napolitano 180). In the end, Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano declare that the apprehensiveness and thorough planning young people exhibit on their way to marriage could be seen as proof of this generation’s reverence for, not dismissal of marriage’s significance. I definitely agree with the authors that marriage isn’t disappearing because I believe young people today are more cautious about whom they marry and more individualistic than the young Americans from past decades which ultimately hinders most people from spontaneous and potentially risky marriages.
In this YouTube video, relationship expert Galena Rhoades talks about the pros and cons in regards to cohabitation before marriage. Like the article, she talks about how couples who do practice cohabitation before marriage usually have higher divorce rates. She also talks about the reasons why individuals would think cohabitation is a good idea, such as saving money, and testing out the relationship before making the decision to get married. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1pnkynWccw&feature=related
This website gives numerous statistics associated with cohabitation in America. Some of the statistics include: 75% of cohabiters plan to marry their partners, 41% of American women aged 15-44 have cohabited at some point, and 10.7% of the unmarried population report living together with unmarried partners. http://www.unmarried.org/statistics.html
This article from USA Today talks about heterosexual cohabitation hitting all-time record highs and how the Census Bureau has accounted for the increased rates. It is said that this shift occurred somewhere between 1977 and 2007 and how rare cohabitation was just thirty years ago. http://www.crosswalk.com/news/the-new-norm-cohabitation-in-contemporary-america-11579747.html
Works Cited
Casper, Lynne M., and Suzanne M. Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print.
Kefalas, Maria, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano. “Marriage Is More than Being Together.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-87. Print.
Charles Bielkiewicz
The section Cohabitation by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi is a reading about couples who are not married and live together. Many terms such as sleeping together, and living together are used to describe the word cohabitation. Since the mid 1960s up until today, cohabitation has become more popular among the population. Effects on a marriage and on children are just a few of the topics covered through the discussion of cohabitation, and the use of graphs and tables give specific statistics about the topic.
Prior to the 1960’s or 1970’s, it was frowned upon for a couple to live together before marriage. Living together symbolized sexual relations and the beginning of a life long commitment between the two people. As the decades wore on, more and more people began to see couples living together before getting married. This mainly started with college students and slowly grew to what we have today where cohabitation is common among any age. The advance and acceptance of different types of contraceptives has led to more cohabitation. Couples don’t feel the need to get married because they don’t have the fear of having a child before they are married.
Cohabitation is also showing up more because of another reason. Men and women begin to live with each other before marriage in order to simulate being married. It gives men a chance to see if his partner would make a good mother and keeper of the house, and give the women a chance to see if the man could support a family as well as be a good spouse. In a study done in 1998, it was found that there are two times more couples of different race’s found in cohabiting relationships rather than marriages. Also, there were about 20% more cohabiting couples where the woman was more educated than the man, rather than marriages with the women being more educated. (Table 12.2, pg 168)
At last it was found that cohabitating couples were more likely to end up in a divorce once married rather than people who got married than moved in together. Also cohabitation is slowing the rates of remarriage after divorce. This is leaving more children with single parents or unmarried parents, which leads them to the lifestyle they see growing up.
The chapter “Marriage Is More Than Being Together”, by Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano uses input from a study done on young people ranging from 22 to 38 years of age. (Sample, Methods, pg 174) It gives different opinions from people of all ages on what marriage means to them, to when they plan on getting married and why they want to. The terms marriage planners and marriage drifters are thrown around throughout the reading to help you understand the different kinds of people the study found.
This study was set forth to determine the reason marriage has become something of the past. Marriage has become less popular among younger generations and people are waiting till later in life to become married. The section focuses on the mentality it takes for people to become married. Some people say that you need to be ready to get married, and that you need to find the right person. Others say that you don’t need to get married it is just something people do.
Over all marriage rates are lowering, but across the nation people are still getting married and those who are not, plan to in the future. Marriage isn’t for all people. It is a commitment between both people and should be thought upon a great deal before perusing.
The video below, talks about the advantages and disadvantages of living together before marriage. It gives reasons why people would live together before marriage and relates well with the first reading.
Youtube video:
Lynne Casper’s article titled, “Cohabitation,” is all about the theory of cohabitation and how it is affecting marriage. It helps to accompany delays in marriage, increases in divorce, and is eroding the commitment and traditional family life, she states (161). Cohabitation has several definitions, including “living together,” “living in sin,” and “sleeping together” (Casper 161). Most adults end up marrying: 91% of women aged 45 to 54 in 1998 had been married at least once. However, the meaning and permanence of marriage may be diminishing as cohabitation increases in popularity. Marriage used to mark the beginnings of a new household, sexual relationships, and the birth of children. But, now with cohabitation, these linkages can no longer be assumed (Casper 162). “Cohabitors” are people of the opposite sex who share living quarters. Women cohabitors rose from 3% in 1978 to 9% in 1998. Men also went from 5% to 12% over that same span. Only 8% of first marriages in the late ‘60s were preceded by cohabitation, which rose to 49% in 1985-1986, and 56% in the mid ‘90s (Casper 164). Why did this happen? Casper explains that this is mostly a result of increased uncertainty about marriage, rising availability of birth control, and weakening of religious restraints. Cohabitation really took off with the introduction of effective contraceptives, which made premarital sex a much safer activity. Casper attributes the rapid growth to college students (164). Women who are more occupation-driven than their peers are more likely to cohabit before marriage. Now, the majority of the population lives with a partner before they marry (Casper 169). In cohabitant relationships, men and women’s labor roles are more similar. Partners want to establish themselves financially before they make a big decision.
Maria Kefalas’ article titled, “Marriage is More Than Being Together,” focuses on young people’s opinions on marriage. Their opinions and notions of marriage are changing, Kefalas says, due to extension of schooling, liberalization of sexual behavior, contraceptive increases, changing gender roles, and threat of divorce (173). Professionals say that rising divorce rates, cohabitation, gay marriage, and non-marital childbearing are all leading to the decline in marriage. “…the traditional hierarchy based on a sharp, gender-based division of labor is no longer viable,” writes Kefalas (175). There are essentially two forms of marriage thinkers: planners and drifters. Marriage planners think of marriage as something that progresses with time and is tested by life. Marriage drifters think of marriage as an inevitable thing that just happens in a relationship (Kefalas 177). Kefalas argues that the biggest problems in a relationship are exclusivity and balance of power.
In the article, “Cohabitation,” by Casper and Branchi the topic of cohabitation was discussed. Cohabitation can simply be defined as two people living together without marriage. However, it is not as simple as that. Within the last few decade cohabitation has become increasingly popular. The 1990 census and the 1995 CPS were the first to include unmarried partner as a choice in which people could identify their household as. The delay of marriage as well as increased divorce rates are primary reasons for the increase in cohabitation. Many people choose to cohabit because of the uncertainty of the stability of marriage, the decay of the social norms against it, an increase in sexual relationships outside of marriage fueled by better birth control options, and the weakening of constraints of and individual’s family decisions. Many people in society believe that this type of behavior is weakening the idea and meaning of marriage. It also weakens the permanence of marriage. “Marriage used to be the event that almost exclusively marked the formation of a new household, the beginning of sexual relation, and the birth of a child” (Casper and Branchi 162). However, more and more frequently cohabitation contains many of the same characteristics as marriage do, such as co residence, intimacy, and economic interdependence. The one way it is clear that marriage and cohabitation are different is in the fact that marriage, “adheres to legal, moral, and social rules, a social institution that rests upon common vows and shared expectation for appropriate behavior within the partnership” (Casper and Branchi 162). The appropriate behavior of married couples is clearly marked, however the same cannot be said for cohabitors. In today’s society, there is more of an acceptance of marriage and ambivalence toward cohabitation, since marriage is seen as a desirable relationship for the rearing of children. However this idea is starting to change. The barrier that once discouraged cohabitation is withering away. The authors state, “American values have shifted from those favoring family commitments and self sacrifice to those favoring self fulfillment” (Casper and Branchi 164). This new American idea of how a person should live is making cohabitation a better option for marriage than some. Cohabitation in many peoples’ opinions allows a couple to test the waters before committing to a marriage. If the relationship doesn’t work out, the person simply just has to move out instead of going through the process of divorce. This is becoming increasingly common among people have previously divorced as well. 56% of marriages today are preceded by cohabitation, a huge rise since the 1980s. 40% of births are to unmarried mothers. Also, 2/5 of children spend some part of their childhood with unmarried parents. This includes kids whose parents were never married and also children who parents had from a previous marriage. The people who tend to cohabit also have different ideas on equality than those who marry. Those who cohabit tend to have more equal economic standing with their partner, whereas men have a higher standing than women in couples that tend to marry. Also, housework is split more equally among couples who cohabit that those in a marriage. Although the effects of cohabitation on the future of marriage can be worrisome, the majority of people do not see cohabitation as an alternative to marriage. 91% of women 48 to 54 have been married and 88% of women younger are likely to marry. Also, 50% of cohabitation lasts less than a year.
The article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together” by Kefalas, Furstenburg and Napolitano, the idea of how marriage is viewed by today’s young adults was discussed. There are many pessimists in the world who look at increased divorce rates, the increased rate of cohabitation, gay marriages, childbearing outside of marriage, and a delay in marriage as the unraveling of the principle of marriage. However, “marriage is not disappearing, so much as being transformed by a host of contemporary ideas” (Kefalas, Furstenburg, and Napolitano 173). The majority of Americans hold onto the ideal and the practice of marriage, with at least 4 out of 5 people of today’s youth expected to marry. Reasons for the changes are due to the extension of education beyond teenage years, liberation of sexual behavior, birth control, changing gender roles, the fear of divorce, and the variety of options youth have when it comes to relationship choices. Youth in the age of society have more choices with their lives; however the large majority is still choosing to marry. Marriage was once seen as the merger of two lives into one. However, there is an increasing recognition for a need for an individual life inside of marriage. Today, peoples’ focus in a relationship being worthy of marriage is not so much dependent on love as it is on the ideals of comfort. People value the stable and predictable dynamics of friendship in a partner greater than being madly in love. The authors state, “A marriage partner should allow you to be yourself and accept you fully” (Kefalas, Furstenburg, and Napolitano 176). Also getting in the way of and delaying marriage is the complex nature of early adulthood. People have high expectations that get in the way of marriage. People often want to finish their education and be settled in their careers before marriage. As far as marriage goes, “Being ready means feeling settled, mature, and having achieved personal, educational, and career goals” (Kefalas, Furstenburg, and Napolitano 178). The marriage planners are the people who see marriage as a life goal, however also see it as one of the many immediate options available to them. These people are most often found in cities or suburbs, where there is a larger amount of activities that compete for a person’s time. People in these areas are more likely to focus on school, education, and their own goals in life before opting for marriage. Marriage drifters, on the other hand, see marriage as the natural outcome of a long relationship and tend to get married younger. These people are often found in the rural environments. Another quality that needs to be present before marriage is considered is the marriage mentality. This is the willingness of people to accept that responsibilities that come with being a husband or wife. For many men, they feel like they are giving up their bachelor life style. Men focus on being more selfish and often don’t want to give that up. Women, on the other hand, feel like they lose a sense of control and power when they marry a man. People in today’s world want an individuality that will be preserved and respected in order for them to make the sacrifices marriage entails. Often, cohabitation is seen as a way to test whether or not people are right for each other. People get to know their partner, experiences decisions and setbacks together, learn to communicate, and develop trust in these situations. People want to make sure this is the person they can live with before they commit to a marriage. Although some people are cynical about marriage, there is a widespread consensus that marriage is about finding the right person and circumstances. Many people delay it because they don’t see it as just being with a person. There is a “widespread sense that marriage’s practical significance has decline. At the same, its symbolic role has expanded” (Kefalas, Furstenburg, and Napolitano 183). It is clear that people, for the most part, do not delay marriage because they belittle it, they delay it because they have a respect for it and cherish it.
This video shows some statistics about cohabitation and the effects of it.
This video discusses the advantages and disadvantages of cohabitation. It also discusses the reason for it
http://www.love-sessions.com/ready_for_marriage.htm
This site shows some of the requirements people in today’s society have for marriage.
This video is a response to another youtube video in which a five year old discusses how she wants a job before she gets married. Even the girl who does this video is rather young. It just shows how even at an extremely young age, today’s youth are thinking about all of the things they want to achieve before they think about getting married. It demonstrates how the ideas of marriage have changed.
In the article “Cohabitation” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, the authors address the issue of cohabitation and how that is playing a role on marriage in modern day relationships. Through demographic research, their having been many controversial findings on this new idea of young couples choosing to cohabitate rather than get married. Reports have been shown that these cohabiting unions weaken the institution of marriage and present dangers to women and children (Bianchi & Casper, 161). The issue that this article discusses is how the meaning of marriage is changing due to cohabitation and what exactly this means. Cohabiting and marital relationships have many similarities such as coresidence, emotional, psychological and sexual intimacy. However, how they differ is extremely important and is why the younger generation is opting to wait until marriage if they even want it. In a cohabiting relationship, both partners feel a greater sense of individualism both economically and personally (Bianchi & Casper, 162). It seems to be that cohabiting first started from students on college-campuses experimenting with new forms of living. The development of cohabitation in young couples has to do with the changing of society and what is now acceptable. Contraceptives have given young couples freedom to engage in sexual intercourse without the risk of unwanted pregnancy. This has then increased pre-martial sex which then becomes more common along with living with a partner before marriage (Bianchi & Casper, 164). Another huge influence on why these couples cohabitate over marriage is for individual reasons. Both men and women seem to want to push off marriage until they are financially set and both have his or her own finances squared away. These couples are much more liberal in their approach to marriage and therefore divorce is more accepted (Bianchi & Casper, 167). Also, in a cohabitated relationship, the women and men both have very similar earnings compared to married couples who have a more traditional-men bring home the money and women take care of the house work. Overall, these cohabitating couples seem to be popular in modern society today because of all the advancements that both men and women want to achieve. Education and economically these couples want to have their own lives set before marriage and living with their partner helps them keep their own individuality while still enjoying the other partner.
The article “Marriage is More than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage Among Young Adults in the United States” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg and Laura Napolitano go into depth about the reasons that marriage is delayed and why this seems to be a progressing alternative. There are a number of conditions that have changed people’s perspective on marriage such as education, liberalization of sexual behavior and the availability of contraception. This article puts people into two categories such as “marriage drifters” and “marriage planners”. The planners regard marriage as a developmental process that progresses over time. An example would be a couple that achieves both his and her own individual goals both socially and economically before settling down into the idea of marriage. This is something that shouldn’t be rushed. The drifters regard marriage as a “promise” of future commitment. An example would be a couple staying together for a certain amount of years and then feeling they should get married (Furstenberg, Kefalas & Napolitano, 173). The authors interviewed people on their idea of marriage and found many conclusions and one that was very important and many people had in common was the idea of individualized marriage where young adults feel that a successful marriage entitles both parties to have a sense of their own personal space within and out of the union (Furstenberg, Kefalas & Napolitano, 175). Many men and women who were more marriage planners felt that their education came first because they both need to be stabilized financially before entering a marriage. Many men want to be able to have a job and provide for their family before a commitment such as that. They both put their personal goals first and then marriage can come later down the line when both parties are feel ready but they need to establish themselves individually so they can both equally partake in the new life they will create together. Also, both parties want to make sure they can accept the other partner completely before making a life-long commitment. When comparing relationships that didn’t work out with partners, a general concern was from women who felt that men were always wanting to dominate and overpower them and when asking what went wrong to men about woman, it was that they are not aloud to put themselves first and be selfish (Furstenberg, Kefalas & Napolitano, 179-181. In both articles overall, it seems that the main change from a traditional youthful marriage to waiting and living together before is that both parties want independence and not to feel obligated or forced into something he or she may not be ready to handle emotionally, physically and economically.
Casper, Lynne M., and Suzanne M. Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print.
Kefalas, Maria, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano. “Marriage Is More than Being Together.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-87. Print.
A youtube on the pros and cons about living together before a couple is legally married.
In Cohabitation, by Lynne Casper and Suzanne Bianchi, the main argument is the modernizing of the pre-requisites of marriage. The main word they use is cohabitation, which is when a couple decides to live together before committing to marriage (Casper, Bianchi 161). The change from traditional pre-requisites was first widely noticed from college students in the 1960s to 1970s (Casper, Bianchi 163). These college students were began to have a different outlook on life, and wanted to see how it was like living together before making a life-long commitment. While cohabitation was only 8% of the first marriages in the 1960s, it began to increase to 49% from 1985-86 and even more to 56% by the early to mid 1900s (Casper Bianchi 164). There were a few reasons for this modernization, such as uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on an individual’s family decisions. By the mid 1990s, the majority of seniors in high school thought it was a good idea to live with your partner before you got married (Casper, Bianchi 164). This view has become even stronger today. Most couples in our society move in together before they get married, for reasons listed previously but probably most importantly so they can become financially stable – so they can afford to support their new family. Another interesting point in this article they make is the comparison between cohabitating couples and married couples. In cohabitating couples, there is an increase in the difference of ethnicity or race, an increase that a woman has a higher education in a man, an increase in women working more hours and that both men and women worked for pay (Casper, Bianchi 168). A possible explanation for the differences here is that couples that differ from traditional marriages, different race and social status, may want to see how it is like to live together, because they are both of different race and possibly different customs. While most young adults perceive cohabitation as a good idea, others say that there is a decrease in divorce rate or a loss of a sense of meaning in marriage. The following video shows a commercial of two young adults listing all the positive things about cohabitation, while at the end of the video it says it increases the divorce rate.
Another commercial states more facts about the increased divorce rate and other facts about increased depression in the family and a shocking 56% increase in child abuse.
The second article, Marriage is More Than Being Together, by Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano, mainly highlights the modernizing views on marriage and the steps taken to get there, similar to the previous article except it is more detailed. Instead of marriage being something rushed into out of love or tradition, society has taken a step back to fully examine how marriage will affect their lives and come up with possibilities to better their marriage. The label Marriage Planners is for people who are more rational about their approach to marriage, usually due to a higher education or pursuit of a career. Being a marriage planner means that person wants to feel settled, mature and have achieved personal, educational and career goals (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 178). This type of view could probably be associated with many people in our society today, at least within the United States. People want to be able to comfortably provide for their families, and if someone gets married before they are able to get their career rolling, then it becomes progressively more difficult trying to balance money and comfort within the home. The point is that people are not going to rush into marriage under a spell of “out-of-control romantic love” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 176). Love does play a large role in a couple’s commitment to marriage, but other factors are just as important such as financial stability, friendship within the couple’s relationship and the ability to make sacrifices for your partner, which is a big part of love. Another point though is that both work and education can put a hold on marriage (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 178). An example in the article is a 25 year old man who says he has no time for work and even dating. Another is a 24 year old man attending law school tells his girlfriend he cannot make the commitment of marriage until he has a career (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 178). These two people support the idea that you should be financially stable before you can get married. Once you make that commitment and have a family, it is harder to concentrate on your career.
The following video has a man, Dr. John Curtis, who answers why he thinks it is better to marry later. He gives a good reason to somewhat dismiss the statistic that the divorce rate is higher for those who live together, because the percentages are different between different socio-economic groups. He also makes it clear that, like the last two articles have pointed out, waiting builds a sense of emotional maturity and gives the couple a better understanding of what resources they should obtain before making the commitment.
Overall, I believe it is important for a couple to not rush into marriage based solely on love. While of course there are marriages that work better due to only love than those which are bound by financial stability and such, I believe in general that waiting is the right choice. Both of these articles basically give today’s generation an egalitarian view on life that is less traditional and more about what is good for their lives and rationally thinking about how to better their lives as a family. People are taking more steps before getting married, which is not a bad thing because the main point of this is to get an idea of how things will work out and to try avoiding the chance of a lengthy and emotionally damaging divorce.
Cohabitation has been on the rise in the latter half of the 20th century. Casper and Bianchi discuss how this rise has also been accompanied by a “delay in marriage and increase in divorce” (Casper, and Biachi 161). Christian clergy members often preach this as to why cohabitation is a threat to the institution of marriage. Going to the Bible, marriage was proclaimed a holy institution with Adam and Eve the first to be married. This rule and its benefits are set down with the statement “This is why a man leaves his father and bother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh,” (The Holy Bible, Genesis 2:24). Christians against cohabitation argue that just because a couple has reasons for the cohabitation, whether they are economical, conventional, or for personal (often related to the couple’s respective childhoods), does not mean cohabitation is healthy for the relationship or the marriage. They cite problems such as a higher risk for divorce, negative effects upon the children of the couple, and repressed anger towards each other as reasons why cohabitation is a problem. The clergy often call for these couples to marry, as they believe God intended them to (Champlin http://www.americancatholic.org/Newsletters/CU/ac0603.asp). Casper and Bianchi also note similar negative aspects of cohabitation and add some startling facts, such as that “it is a behavior that is prevalent among less educated individuals,” (Casper, and Biachi 164).
There are many positives to be found in cohabitation, however. One being that it is reflective of a society that is more acceptant with looser social norms (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 173). Lisa Bower states that it is a great “litmus test for what the future might hold,” (Bower ). This is a major benefit to living together before marriage as problems in the relationship will begin to show themselves before the couple is locked into a marriage. Others cite a better sex life and increased knowledge of each other as another benefit of cohabitation (http://www.e-nterests.com/familyhtml/prosandconslivingtogether.php).
Intended Bower citation was (Bower )
In Casper and Bianchi’s article, “Cohabitation”, the authors discuss the rising rate of cohabitation in America and how some people believe that the increase in cohabitation has negatively affected traditional marriage and family life. They also examine how cohabitators view themselves and compare cohabitors with both married and single people. As cohabitation increases, people’s understanding of marriage may change as well. There is a societal acceptance and expectation of marriage as the desirable state within which to live and bear children in. There is no set of guidelines to follow when it comes to cohabitation. As the authors stated, “…there is no widely recognized social blueprint or script for the appropriate behavior of cohabitors, or for the behavior of the friends, families, and other individuals and institutions with whom they interact” (Casper and Bianchi 162).
This is a fairly recent issue that has been growing in the latter half of the twentieth century. For instance, the first statistics on cohabitation weren’t recorded until the 1987-88 National Survey of Families and Households, and the 1990 U.S. Census was the first time a person could identify as an “unmarried partner” (Casper and Bianchi 162). Cohabitation didn’t gain attention or popularity until the 1960s/70s when people were very focused on revolution and experimentation. Today, more than 50% of married couples will cohabitate prior to marriage. This is an issue with the statistics, since they only capture one moment in time, when many people live together prior to getting married. There is less of a taboo in our culture about living together before marriage. This could be because of looser religion norms and weaker expectations about sex before marriage (Casper and Bianchi 162).
Cohabitation is more prevalent in less educated couples, older couples, mixed race couples, and couples where the women are older than the men, or nontraditional couples (Casper and Bianchi 167). The authors concluded that the effect of cohabitation on marriage depends on how cohabitors view their relationships. Some plan to eventually marry, while there are also those who want a relationship of convenience and low commitment (however, the latter usually ends up separating).
In another article about couples, “Marriage Is More Than Being Together”, the authors discuss “marriage pessimists” who are becoming increasingly concerned over the rising divorce rate, single parenthood, and consequential issues (Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano, 173). The authors argue that, perhaps, this is a transformation in the meaning of marriage, rather than a decline of people actually getting married, because 4 out of 5 of today’s young people will still get married (Kefalas et al., 173). The authors go further to explore the way young adults think about marriage. Many have the attitude that since people no longer have to marry if they want to live with a partner, have sex, and have children (since there is less of a taboo), then why is it necessary to get married? The article then goes on to expand on data gathered from a diverse group of 22-38 year olds. In the past, there was an understood hierarchy in a marriage with a dominant man, but this idea doesn’t mesh well with young people today. Now, young people believe more individual space is needed within a marriage (Kefalas et al., 175). The study found little evidence that young people “outright reject” marriage, but that they view the pursuit of marriage to be difficult considering the complexity of young adulthood and heightened expectations of marriage (Kefalas et al., 177).
The authors discovered both regional and class differences on views of marriage. They also labeled two divisions among those they studied – those they called “marriage planners” and those they called “marriage drifters.” The planners saw marriage as a definite life goal, but one of many other various options, whereas the drifters saw marriage as the natural outcome of a long relationship (Kefalas et al., 178). More young people in metropolitan areas were planners, since they found the transition to marriage harder considering they generally had higher-pressure lives that were more focused on work (Kefalas et al., 179). The authors concluded that it’s not that young people reject marriage, so much as they have doubts that they’ll find the right partner and be able to handle their new responsibilities on top of their already hectic lives.
I found an interesting article from Time magazine (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1908434,00.html?artId=1908434?contType=article?chn=us) focusing on what they call, “The American Marriage.” While the article focuses a lot on recent political scandals dealing with affairs, it brings up good points regarding the status of marriage in America and how people value and view marriage. The author stated, “The poor and middle class are very different in the ways they have forsaken marriage. The poor are doing it by uncoupling parenthood from marriage, and the financially secure are doing it by blasting apart their unions if the principals aren’t having fun anymore” (Flanagan). The article provides perspective on the differences between how various classes view marriage and how it is dealt with in the media.
Sources:
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188 Print.
Flanagan, Caitlin. “Is There Hope for the American Marriage? – TIME.” Time Magazine. Time Magazine, 2 July 2009. Web. 05 Oct. 2011. .
http://www.life123.com/relationships/issues/cohabitation/cohabitation-before-marriage-a-good-idea.shtml
The article “Cohabitation” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi talk about how sharing living arrangements with your significant other may not be as good of an idea as it sounds. As years pass more couples have been “doubling up” with each other prior to marriage, yet the divorce rate is getting higher each year. According to the article, “Marriage used to be the demographic event that almost exclusively marked the formation of a new household, the beginning of sexual relations, and the birth of a child” (Casper & Bianchi 162). However, the fact that couples fear that they will only add on to the growing divorce rate eventually only lets them think impulsively; thus coming to an agreement that moving in with one another will solve this problem. What these couple fail to realize is that these are not healthy social norms. The authors explain “Shifting norms mean that adults today are more likely to believe that cohabitation and divorce are acceptable and less likely to believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment than was true in the past (Thornton 1989; Thornton and Freedman 1983).
In the article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano the authors discuss marriage and how it has over the years. Many people believe that marriage is dying with divorce rates are rising, increased levels of cohabitation, gay marriage and the abundance of teen pregnancies. With all these problems to choose from, most people believe that society today is to blame for the decrease in marriage. The article also explains that many educated middle and upper class couples choose to delay marriage because they want to focus on their personal and professional goals in the battle of becoming more independent.
Casper and Biachi’s “Cohabitation” discussed the relationships between couples before marriage. The article compared statistics on couples that choose to live together before getting married and couples that get married before cohabiting. For example, the article states that “cohabiting couples tend to divide housework in a more egalitarian fashion than do married couples” (Casper & Biachi 166) and “women have a higher educational level in 21% of cohabiting couples compared with only 16% of married couples” (Casper & Biachi 168).
There are many differences between married couples and cohabiting couples and, with differences, comes advantages and disadvantages.
The video above tells about the pros and cons of cohabitation before marriage. Some of the pros were: the couple can have a feel for what marriage will be like and it shows if the couple is capable or not. The cons: if the couple marries, the marriage is not as exciting and the woman could become a single mom. The following video offers insight from a Christian perspective:
The man, John Piper, says that a Christian couple should not live together before marriage because it sends a message to the world that premarital sex is fine. However, many people are quick to make bold assumptions about others without a good reason; their imagination leads them to fictional stories. Even if a couple gets married without cohabiting, someone will assume that they had premarital sex.
The second article focused on marriage itself and the reasons behind it. Many people were interviewed and gave statements as to why they wanted or didn’t want to get married. One man said that it “felt natural” to get married after being with the same woman for “7 or 8 years” (Kefalas 179). Some people wanted to finish school or get a career before getting married. Others couldn’t get married because of the couple’s lifestyle. A 30-year-old New York woman said how getting married and living together would be difficult since they rarely see each other; their jobs don’t allow them the free time to plan for a wedding or new living conditions. Clearly marriage is not something for people to just rush into. Cohabitation and long relationships seem more reliable to ensure longer lasting marriages, although the latter proves to be better.
Casper and Bianchi starts off the chapter with the definition, “cohabitation can refer to same sex couples, most of the demographic research conducted to date has been concerned with opposite-sex partners” (Casper and Bianchi, 161). Marriage used to be the start of a new family and a beginning of sexual relationship. Cohabiting and marriages have things in common. Couples share their living space, emotionally, and sometimes financially. There is no term used for cohabiting. In 1990, cohabiting started to get recognized in his census. Young couples today are most likely to being their relation by cohabiting than marriage. Cohabiting is becoming the norm. Cohabitation is increasing because of the “stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, the ability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals family decisions” (Casper and Bianchi, 164). Many say that cohabiting reduces costs to save money from marriage. It is like testing your partner to see if you want to marry the person. People “today are more likely to believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment than was true in the past” (Casper and Bianchi, 164). Births in unmarried mothers are actually living with their partners has increased. There is a high chance of getting pregnant in a cohabiting relationship. Cohabitation appeals to “individualistic, more materialistic, and less family-oriented” people (Casper and Bianchi, 167). Today people accept divorce because they are less likely to get married. Unmarried couples compared to married couples are younger, spouse of different race, and the woman has a better education. “Cohabitation continues to increase and to become more normative” (Casper and Bianchi, 169).
In Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano’s “Marriage is more Than Being”, they explain how the meaning of marriage changed over time. Four out of five of today’s young people will marry. Today, marriage has been postponed in couple’s lives. Because of college, sexual behavior before marriage, reliable contraception’s, option to stay single all have changed people’s views on marriage. Many wait to get married until their personal goals are achieved. A minority of people will never get married. Many women used to get married because they needed a man to depend on. There is a difference between a friendship and couples. Friends are more “relaxed” whereas couples are based on “exclusivity” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano, 175). “Friends accept you at face value; romantic partners can be needy and demanding” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano, 176). A long relationship could become mature relationship overtime. Mature enough where they are best friends and always they’re for each other. Being friends before a relationship or marriage allows you to get to know the person and get to know their personality. Marriage is a life goal for some. There are “marriage planners” today. They decide when they are ready or not for the commitment. Today, couples struggle between “exclusivity and the balance of power” in marriage (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano, 180). Young people want to find people that fix their lifestyles. Romantic relationships turn into friendships by the time they want to get married.
Video on statistics on marriages in the United States:
In the article “Cohabitation” written by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, it discusses the living arrangements that are currently happening and have in the past. For example when a couple was to get married they would typically more into together and not before. This would a new family. In the current generation it is being seem that couples are starting to live together well before marriage, and possibly not marrying at all. It is also seem that sexual relationships are increasing outside of marriage. Cohabitation is a way of “testing the waters” without the commit of a married relationship. There are benefits and risks involved with children that are raised in a cohabitated family.
In the article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: written by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano compares the idea of marriage from what it was to now. We see that marriage rates and decreasing and that devoice rates are increasing. Like the first article they discuss that we are seeing cohabitation more frequently with people who have not married. More children are being born into unwed families and teenage families. Many people, “marriage planner” as the article calls them, are growing up saying that “some day I would like to be married”, however most people men and women want to finish their own personal goal, whether that be education, careers, sports, etc before they think about wanting to start a family. It is also a stereotype that once you become married it is time to have children. For me personally I can understand where that is coming from, having grown up in a religious family. The article also interviews a bunch of young adults to get their opinions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1pnkynWccw&feature=related (Benefits and risks to living together before marriage)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1pnkynWccw&feature=related (Marriage vs. Cohabitation)
Works Cited:
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188 Print.
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
In the article “Cohabitation” by Lynne Casper and Suzanne Bianchi, it basically focuses on how things have changed over time. Now instead of getting married first, people are living together instead. Casper says “The increase in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life to take place in the latter half of the 20th century” (Casper, 161). Cohabiting is more of a norm these days than it was when our grandparents were our age. It is not looked down upon for any reason since there has been such an increase over the years, and it isn’t like it’s the young adults who cohabite it’s also those who are over the age of 35. A few reasons this has been increasing dramatically is because there is an increased uncertainty about the stability of marriage, erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, availability of reliable birth control, weakening of religions and other normative constraints on individuals families decisions (Casper 164). For those who just cohabitate and aren’t looking to get married they are with a partner that is said to be outside of what they might actually marry. Some of the examples that the article gives us is one a women dating a male who she happens to be two years older than, another being women dating a man that isn’t as educated as her, and then there was the one about the interracial couple. It was said that about half of the interracial cohabiting couples are made up of white women and a man of another race (Casper, 167). There are always some negatives and positives when talking about anything. Some of what people see as negatives here are that cohabiting couples usually are not together for that long, most don’t actually marry their partner, and it’s seen that the cohabiting couple that does get married ends up getting divorced faster than those who marry first then live together. However, where there are negatives there are always positives like the housework is more divided, longer relationships when they earn the same pay, there is more individual freedom which some same is more important than marriage, they are accepting of divorce and is more attractive to those who are more materialistic and less family orientated (Casper, 167). I understand both the positive and the negative, but for me I would want to cohabitate before getting married. To me it’s more like a run through, I plan to get married once, and how I’m planning on doing that is putting off marriage and testing out living together first. Time will tell if that person is the one to marry.
In the article, “Marriage is More than Being Together” is basically talking about what marriage means to young adults in todays world. Since the way young adults view marriage isn’t the same way our grandparents viewed, back them it was normal to marry young. However, today its said that commitment to marriage is weakening it’s merely shifting to a later point in the life course (Kefalas, 173). Which is true because now people have goals they want to achieve in life before they get married. These types of goals vary between people but the majority of them have their own personal goals and educational ones as well, they want to be financially able to take care of themselves, and be able to live their life before settling into something that is considered life changing. Some of the people interviewed talked about friendship and romance, how its better to be friends then be romantic so you know what your getting into and how the other person is without having any surprises. It was said that a marriage partner should allow you to be yourself and accept you fully (Kefalas, 176). One for the women interviewed was 26 years old living in New York, and what she said about her and her longtime boyfriend’s relationship is just how I feel about mine. She talks about how her and her boyfriend aren’t lovey-dovey but more like friends that get along, they are there for each other through the hard times, and she doesn’t feel the need to call him up all the time and tell him exactly what she’s doing like some of her friends (Kefalas, 176). I feel the same way, my boyfriend and I have been together for a long time and to people it’s like were not even a couple that were like best friends. We both give each other the space we need and we don’t feel the need to talk all the time. Marriage only came up once with us and that’s because someone asked and we both agreed we weren’t ready, we had things we both wanted to achieve before we even consider it. Marriage is still important to young adults but not as important as it use to be. It’s a big step and life altering, it should be something both people want and it shouldn’t be something to do, and instead it should be something both people know they have to work on so it doesn’t have the possibility of it ending badly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XYQnUCKb4s this video is titled Americans delay marriage, stay together longer. What this video does is talk to actual people and get their take on things.
http://www.oprah.com/own-the-gayle-king-show/Does-Cohabiting-Before-Marriage-Make-Divorce-More-Likely this video talks about what men see it as and what women see it as. Also they say that if you live together before marriage there is a greater chance of familiar not that there will be.
Skolnick, Arlene S., and Jerome H. Skolnick. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon/Pearson, 2011. 161-70. Print.
Skolnick, Arlene S., and Jerome H. Skolnick. “Marriage Is More than Being Together.”Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon/Pearson, 2011. 172-89. Print.
In the article “Cohabitation” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, it focused on cohabitated couples. In the article it is talked about how this weakens marriages and can endanger women and children. Marriages and cohabitation are different in some ways. Marriage is more of a legal, moral, and social institution while cohabitation has no real script for how a couple should act (Casper&Bianchi 162.) “The proportion of unmarried women who were cohabitating tripled, from 3 percent to 9 percent, between 1978 and 1998. Increases were similar among unmarried men-from 5 percent to nearly 12 percent-with men more likely than women to cohabit, both 1978 and in 1998” (Casper&Bianchi 163). Cohabitation has increased so much because now there are things such as birth control, weaker religious and other limitations on individuals’ family decisions, and uncertainty about marriage. Birth control is a big reason for the increase in pre-marital sex. Also, cohabitation reduces costs for each partner especially if one is uncertain about a partner. If one is not ready to commit for the rest of their life or they are unsure about being with that specific person for the rest of their life, cohabitation is perfect for them. This style of living is also more common for less educated people because they don’t have as many goals per say. Educated men and women want to get their college degree, get a stable career and everything before getting married. Cohabitators are more independent and believe freedom is important rather than in a marriage where you have to be less selfish and lose your nights out in a way. Many feel like cohabitation is a substitute for marriage and more accepting of divorce. This is true because almost half of cohabitants have already been married once before and are divorced already. Many also choose this lifestyle because earnings are more equal in these types of couples and it’s more likely for a woman to be older in these types of couples. To add on, many babies are born to unmarried parents who live together but some eventually end up getting married.
In the article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” by Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano marriage and how it has changed overtime is discussed. Many things have affected time and attractiveness to marriage. Many educated people delay marriage just for the simple fact they have other personal goals they want to meet first. The bottom two thirds of society however are struggling with marriage because of the fact that they have a limited education and earnings. It then talks about the comparison with friendships and relationships. Couples fight, friends get along just for the fact that you accept friends at face value but partners can be needy and difficult. The problem with this is, your marriage partner should allow you and accept you for who you are and let you be yourself. One woman mentions, “It’s a decision. Either you decide to love somebody or you don’t” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 176). Marriage partners, it’s believed, should share a similar outlook on marriage and life as you do. It then discusses marriage partners and drifter. A marriage partner is when you view marriage as a life goal while a marriage drifter views marriage as a natural alternative of a relationship that occurs over a period of time. “In years past, being married meant you were an adult, today you have to be an adult to be married” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 177). For the majority of the reading, people are questioned about their opinions. Many agreed being ready was important. Several felt they had to achieve personal, educational, and career goals before committing to marriage. Personal growth and maturity is extremely important also before marriage. Some people just aren’t mentally or financially ready to get married and realize that it’s a permanent choice. When it comes to marriage, women are concerned about power in terms of being dominated and men worry about not being allowed to be “selfish.” Marriage is something you earn as well.
Casper and Bianchi bring to the foreground the changing trends in cohabitation from 1978 to 998 within American households. Prior to 1978 there was no clear way to track the habitation trends until the National Survey of Families and Households survey was introduced. Although the survey brought about data that was never collected before, serious scrutiny must be placed in its sampling. The sample of the survey was mainly of women and their children and did not contain data from men in instances of noncustodial parenting. It is obvious how a survey on families can be skewed if the sample is not complete and random.
It does mark the growing trend of cohabitation, two partners living together without being formally married, from 1978 to 1998 which tripled from 3% to 9% in women, and from 5% to 12% in men (Casper, Bianchi, 163). The table on page 165 shows an interesting growth in the number of children in households with cohabiting parents; 27.6% of households in 1978, 33.8% in 1988, and 37.1% in 1998. (Casper, Bianchi).
Casper and Bianchi conclude their article with identifying that although there is an astonishing growth in the number of cohabiting households in America and prolonged initiation of marriages, cohabitation will not likely become the norm, and marriage will continue to be the preferred path (Casper, Bianchi 169).
The findings of Kefalas et al. agree with the previous reading of Edin and Kefalas’ “Unmarried With Children.” In Kefalas et al.’s study “Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” they identify that young people are in search of security prior to marriage. Fascinatingly, Kefalas et al.’s study also agrees with Bogle’s “Hooking Up and Dating: A Comparison” in regards to the lack of love as a requirement in the relationship. Kefalas et al. notes that contemporary young people are in search of “stable dynamics of friendship” more than love (185).
Works Cited:
Bogle, Kathleen. “Hooking Up and Dating: A Comparison.” Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc. 2011. Print.
Kelafas, Maria, Furstenburg, Frank, Napolitano, Laura. “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage Among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc. 2011. Print.
Casper, Lynne, Bianchi, Suzanne. “Cohabitation” Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc. 2011. Print.
Edin, Kathryn, Kefalas, Maria. “Unmarried With Children” Family in Transition. Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc. 2011. Print.
The video below is by The Young Turks, who show the statistical changes in the concept of marriage in America. Keep in mind The Young Turks are bias and foolish. But their data is interesting.
In the article, “Cohabitation” by Lynne M Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi they explain how relationships, living conditions and marriage has changed over time. Cohabitation, the act of living with a partner but not being committed to marriage is the argument in which these authors conceive being the reason for marriage and relationships to be so changed. “Observers believe that the increase in cohabitation has eroded commitment to marriage and the traditional family life”(Casper and Bianchi 161). Marriage has always been considered as the commitment of two people towards each other to live together, support each other and be in union with that person. Now with cohabitation, and the increasing amount of premarital relations and living standards of people who are not married, marriage can no longer be assumed. Cohabitation is an increasing thing in today’s world, this is because of the increasing relations college students and young adults withhold, wether they live with each other, are having sexual relations and hiding it from their parents or freely moving from partner to partner with no constraints. Although cohabitation is increasing this does not mean that marriage is decreasing. The reason for the increase in Cohabitation is because of the “increased uncertainty about marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and the sexual relations that occur outside of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religions”(Casper and Bianchi 164). The cohabitation “problem” is caused also by the new American standard. The American lifestyle in today’s world is not to be family orientated and self sacrificial, but to benefit ones self, wether it be financially, personal growth or freedom. Men and women both are more worried about self fulfillment rather than commitment because of the unstable marriages that are seen and heard of daily.
In the article, “Marriage Is More Than Being Together,” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano, the function of marriage and the meanings of marriage have changed. In the previous article, by Casper and Bianchi, it explains that marriage is changed because of cohabitation in this article that is not the case. Marriage has changed because young adults want their individuality. In a marriage, “two people would merge their fortunes, and their selves in to a single identity to which their personal interests and needs would be subordinated”(Cherlin 2004). Young men and women today want their identity to be individualized. College years and the actions that a student partakes with his or her peers is one reason marriage is looked upon differently. Throughout college and any young adults life, there is a freedom of sexual relations between one partner or many. There is an increased availability of reliable contraceptives. Another reason why the perception of marriage has changed so much is because of “changing gender roles, threatening of divorce, and the option to remain single”(Kefalas, Furstenburg, Napolitano 173). Marriage has changed in young adults eyes because they are more concerned with self success rather than a commitment, also many feel that their is just not enough time to fulfill their needs while fulfilling a partners needs. “Couple’s fight, friends get along; friends accept you at face value while romantic partners can be needy and demanding”(Kefalas, Furstenburg, Napolitano 176). Marriage is considered to be fulfilled now, after personal growth and maturity are attained. Becoming an adult now is no longer looked at as getting married and starting a family but making sure you as an individual is satisfied.
Works Cited
Casper, Lynne M., and Suzanne M. Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print.
Kefalas, Maria, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano. “Marriage Is More than Being Together.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-87. Print.
For this week we read two article out of the text book. The first article, “Cohabitation” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi spoke about the concept of cohabitation and how it has become a common alternative for the younger generation rather than marriage. Some feel that cohabitation has “eroded commitment to marriage and traditional family life” (Casper, Bianchi 161). But this generation has found that cohabitation offers a marital-like experience. The older generation of our society often refers to cohabitation as a college-aged way of life, but even older people are beginning to cohabit as well (Casper, Bianchi 165). Contrary to the traditional dating and marriage situation that existed for much of the 1900s, within the last 50 years cohabitation has provided many in our society with a way to harbor a relationship without the worry of divorce. Cohabitation offers people the ability to have an intimate relationship without marriage that is often more egalitarian, individualistic, and less-family oriented (Casper, Bianchi 164 167). It provides a good way to test if a long-term relationship will work out (Casper, Bianchi 168). Cohabitation has an increasing trend which makes some wondering if the idea of marriage is dwindling away simultaneously.
The second article we read was “Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States,” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano. In this article they discuss how there are two main approaches to marriage among America’s youth: the marriage planner and the marriage drifter. The marriage planner is someone who knows that they would like to marry at some point, but feel that it is an evolving process that takes time and energy to make sure that your are with the right person (Kefalas, et al. 182). There was one man that was interviewed that said that even though he had already had a child with his girlfriend that just because they had a child together does not mean that they must get married right away (Kefalas, et al. 183). He wants to be able to afford a wedding and make sure that he and his wife will be financially stable before making this large commitment (Kefalas, et al. 183). The other side of marriage philosophies is the marriage drifter, which is someone who lets a relationship play out overtime and lets the relationship evolve into a marriage, rather than traditionally jumping head strong into such a large union and commitment (Kefalas, et al. 185). Marriage drifters feel that two partners must, in the end, be friends first and romantics second (Kefala, et al. 185). These two differing approaches to marriage are shaping the marriage scene among the youth in the United States.
Here is a link to a discussion over marriage and cohabitation published by a professor at Brigham Young University back in 2001.
http://marriageandfamilies.byu.edu/issues/2001/January/cohabitation.aspx
This is a link to an organization that works to support those that choose to not marry, be single, live together prior to marriage, etc., and shed light on how there are many alternatives to marriage.
http://www.unmarried.org/
The article by Casper and Bianchi addressed the topic of increased heterosexual cohabition that has grown alongside the divorcer rate and age at which people marry. They say that some people believe that this means people no longer believe in the commitment of marriage, and that “cohabiting unions tend to weaken the institution of marriage and pose clear and present dangers to women and children.” (Casper & Bianchi 161) They go on to say that 91% of women ages 45-54 have been married atleast once, and that might indicate that the definitions of marriage and it’s permanence may be changing as the rates of couples living together rises.
The authors then say that marriage used to mark the point in which (pretty permanently) a new family was formed and children would be concieved. Then, marriage was a relationship of 2 sexes that alligns with moral, social, and legal rules in which 2 people follow appropriate norms. 1990 was the first census in which listing “unmarried partner” as a selection.
In the past, people who cohabit were usually thought to be only reckless college students defying their parents and society by living with their significant other, but the number of cohabitating couples has only been increasing.
The authors then addressed the question, why has cohabitation increased so much? This is because of “uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relationships outside of marriage, the availability of birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions.” (Casper & Bianchi 164) Because of these shifting norms, it seems that American values have gone from those centered around family commitment to personal freedom and individual growth.
Contrary to the belief that it is college students who are cohabitating with their significant others, it is usually the less educated who choose to live together. There are also many older people living together in long term relationships outside of marriage, and there are often more children living in these kinds of households than before. In fact, in many Scandanavian countries, having a child and cohabiting often precedes marriage.
How is cohabiting similar to marriage? According to evidence, people who harbor more egalitarian values and less gender roles gravitate towards cohabiting situations. It is also attractive to those who have material values and have less family oriented goals in life. They also tend to be more accepting of divorce. It seems that this kind of living arrangement is more attractive to unconventional couples (ex interracial).
While cohabitating sometimes leads to marriage, half of cohabitating couples last a year or less. It can serve as a trial period for those who are uncertan about whether their relationship can last over the long term.
What effect will this have on marriage? According to the authors, it depends on how the cohabitors view their relationship. Many have plans to marry their partners, while others don’t. It doesn’t however seem to be a replacement to marriage in the United States as it did in Sweden – only 1 in 10 believe it is a substitute. The real debate is over whether cohabitating before marriage makes people irreverent towards marriage or if it makes them more open to the idea of divorce.
The article by Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano dealt largely with the same issues as the previous article, but focused more on the individual person’s perspective on marriage, commitment, and cohabitation. They begin by discussing the rising divorce rates, levels of cohabitation, the advent of gay marriage and childbearing outside of wedlock, and the various perspectives on whether marriage as an institution is in trouble. It may not be however, the definitions and functions of marriage may simply be changing.
Now that people spend more time in school, sexual behavior has become more liberal, birth control methods are more readily available, gender roles have changed, and more threat of divorce has changed the way young people view marriage. According to the authors, there are two types of people; marriage drifters and marriage planner. The former feels that marriage is inevitable, while marriage planners see marriage as a developmental process which is tested by real life circumstances.
In a companionate marriage, two people merge their possessions and become a single entity. In this kind of marriage, demands are high and rewards are not always equal. Individualized/conjugal marriages are what people tend to favor now a days – where people move through life in tandem but with their own separate lives going on as well. Now, love is not as much of a factor, as some people don’t want the volatility and passion. Instead they prefer friendship like marriages, where people get along and have an easier, less stressful relationship.
People now tend to only want to marry once they feel settled in as adults. People in more traditional areas (usually rural) feel more ready for marriage at a younger age (and tend to be “marriage drifters”) Marriage is still a life goal for most, but it is only one of many options that people can choose to do early in their life. Being “ready” means feeling settled emotionally, career wise, educationally, and personally, and cohabitation offers the benefits of marriage without the obligations.
To consider marriage, personal and professional prerequisites must come, but a marriage mentality must come as well for people to settle down. People have to come to terms with exclusivity and balancing of power with their partner. Both men and women worry about these power dynamics, but men see it as a right to be selfish being taken away while women worry about being dominated. Marriage is no longer 1+1= 1, but 1+1=3: you, me, and us.
The authors also found that cohabitation is not a substitute for marriage, but an intermediate phase that can or cannot lead to marriage. 50 years ago, 1 in 20 children were born out of wedlock, today its 1 in 3. now people dont feel the pressure to get married if they find themselves unexpectedly pregnant.
In conclusion, the authors found that marriage is something that takes place after life’s other transitions have already occurred, while it previously was one of the first transitions one would take as an adult. Today, young people put their relationships through meticulous testing and planning, which proves that the value of marriage is still vey much taken seriously.
With all of this research in mind, both sides about whether cohabitation before marriage is a good thing or not is presented in these videos.
In the first article Cohabitation the author poses the question whether or not cohabitation will cause for the rate of marriage to decrease. In the United State the rate of heterosexual couples living together before marriage has increased over time. Now the belief was the cohabitation was mostly among young college students, this was true during the late 60’s and early 70’s. More recently this trend has changed; the majority of couples involved in Cohabitation now are above the age of 35. This change has also to increase of cohabitating couples having children. The change in trend can be explained because many couples recently divorced and separated chose to cohabitate instead of marriage. The article also goes on to compare both married couples and cohabitation couples, and most of the findings were as you would expect show that cohabitation couples view their relationship in an egalitarian fashion where gender roles in married couples tend to lean to more of the traditional side. While many observers believe that cohabitation will lead to the eroding of the institution of marriage, recent studies have proven the opposite. For example, “The evidence to date suggests it is more the latter than the former, and the question is whether cohabitation will become less selective of certain types of individuals (p170).” This just restates that one’s view on marriage is more likely to determine whether or not you will marry rather than engaging in cohabitation before you marry.
In the Second article the author talks about how the view of marriage has changed over the years. Like the first article it proposes many different reasons why this change occurred. The author explains that an individual’s pursuit for personal fulfillment pushes marriage back. Along with this the author goes on to classify individuals interested in marriage as either marriage planners , and marriage drifters. Marriage planners are those whose life long goal is to get married and have a traditional wedding and family. Then marriage drifters who believe that marriage is a natural outcome of a relationship. Most people fall into the marriage planner category, but the only thing holding them back is personal fulfillment. While the view has changed over the years the question remains whether this change is in the good or bad for the institution of marriage?
Click to access Teens_Have_Positive.pdf
Work Cited
Casper & Bianchi, Cohabitation, p. 161-172
Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano, Marriage Is More Than Being Together, p. 172-189
The first article called “Cohabitation”, by Casper and Bianchi discusses the growing trends of cohabitation among heterosexuals. The chapter opens up by saying that heterosexual cohabitation has accompanied, “delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in the family life to take place in the latter half of the 20th century” (Casper 161). The author goes on to tell how cohabitation is affecting when and why women are getting married at older ages. “91 percent of women ages 45 to 54 in 1998 had been married at lease once (Bianchi and Casper 162), and an estimated 88 percent of women in younger cohorts are likely to marry eventually (Raley 2000).
I found a text from the web that suggests heterosexual cohabitation is increasing among younger people in today’s generation. The reasons found in the study are that it is more convenient to move in with one another, and this trend is increasing annually. “Participants view their behavior as normative and acceptable particularly within the academic environment.” (Danziger).
http://www.acrwebsite.org/volumes/display.asp?id=5684
The second article, “Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States”, by Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano, talks about the transition from cohabitation to the possibility of marriage. The author disagrees with the idea that marriage is decreasing, and believes that it is provisional. The author goes on to say that significant influences affecting the timing and attractiveness to marriage are results of, extending education past high school, availability of contraceptive use, change of gender roles, the threat of divorce, and the option to remain single.
One of the most significant changes in family life in the second half of the 20th century is the idea of heterosexual cohabitation which delays marriage (Casper and Bianchi 161). Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi’s article, “Cohabitation”, describes life for some people who decide to live together which is also known as cohabitation. Some of the terms used for people who live together are “shacking up”, “living in sin”, “doubling up”, “sleeping together” and other expressions (Casper and Bianchi 161). Casper and Bianchi state that depending on what expression they use shows how a person views unmarried sexual partners living together. Cohabitation can also mean same-sex couples but in their article and the research that was conducted focused on opposite-sex partners. Marriage used to be one of those events in life that was a milestone in living with another person in a place of their own, beginning of sexual relations and the beginning of having children (Casper and Bianchi 161). Over time cohabitation has changed which according to some people may be eroding commitment to married life and family life as society once knew it (Casper and Bianchi 161). Cohabitation has increased so much because of “the uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions” (Casper and Bianchi 164). Some people argue that cohabitation reduces the costs of partnering so that a couple may experience the benefits of an intimate relationship without committing to marriage. Effective contraceptives have made it possible for couples to engage in sexual relations without fearing for unwanted children. Society’s norms have changed which have made divorce and cohabitation more common and acceptable.
Couples who cohabit defy gender stereotypes more often than married couples do (Casper and Bianchi 170). Women and men in cohabited relationships are more likely to share the household chores and value an equal economic partnership (Casper and Bianchi 170). One of the most surprising findings in this article I think is the fact that couples who cohabit before marriage are more likely to end in divorce unlike couples who do not cohabit before marriage. I find this extremely interesting because I would think that people who live together before marriage are more likely to accept each other and handle situations in marriage better.
In Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano’s article, “Marriage Is More Than Being Together,” the authors discuss how marriage happens for different people across different regions and social classes at different periods in their lives. Most people agree that marriage does not have to occur during the transition into adulthood like it did 50 years ago. Today’s society puts an extreme reverence on marriage which is why some people choose their spouses so carefully. Many conditions have changed people’s thoughts about marriage such as higher education beyond the teen years, the liberalization of sexual behavior, available reliable contraception, changing gender roles, the threat of divorce and the option to remain single for life are threatening the institution of marriage. Most people in today’s modern society postpone marriage until personal and professional goals are achieved (Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano 173). In that time couples resort to delay temporary unions until their prospects are clarified.
Some related clips are:
The Sydney Life Marriage and Family Center in Sydney, Australia where I have volunteered when I studied abroad last year
He’s Just Not That Into You–Reasons for Not getting married
He’s Just Not That Into You — Proposal
Will Living Together Ruin Your Relationship?
Cohabitation “Shacking Up Seminar”
Cohabitation before Marriage Pros and Cons
Fr. Jeff explains the pitfalls of co-habitation from a religious aspect
The article “Cohabitation” from our text, written by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi focuses on similarities and differences between cohabitation and marriage. Living arrangements between couples have taken a big turn. Casper and Bianchi talk about how Cohabitation came about and how it evolved to be something as big as it is today. Cohabitation was something that college students did in the 1970’s for several reasons (Casper and Bianchi 163). Some reasons being the uncertainty of marriage and to hide relationships from parents. At a young age people are not willing to make such a great commitment. Over time cohabitation has increased between couples. One reason for the increase in cohabitation being that women are more career focused, not really allowing them to commit to a serious relationship. Through cohabitation, one can get the benefits of marriage while avoiding the misfortunes. It is easier for people to commit to living with someone as opposed to actually marrying them because of economic reasons and because it is just simply less of a commitment. Now in days people are more likely to believe that cohabitation and divorce are more acceptable, due to a shift in social norms (Casper and Bianchi164). The article states that people would believe that when individuals cohabitate they are more likely to not separate when they finally marry, but that the truth is actually that those who cohabitate before marriage are more likely to divorce or separate (Casper and Bianchi 167). Another thing that the article stated is that the age at which people are cohabitating is increasing. There are older couples who are cohabitating (Casper and Bianchi 165). Multiple times in the article, the question of cohabitation replacing marriage was asked. There are still many individuals who believe in matrimony, but less are willing to commit at early ages, more rather cohabitate.
The article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” written by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano focuses mostly on the major change that marriage has undergone. Marriage has changed drastically over time. Some even believe that marriage is losing its meaning. In newer generations there are more people who are settling for just being together. There is more children bearing outside of marriage. Younger people are transforming the ideal of marriage in a way. They are going more towards the “companionate model”. The “companionate model” is to find people that already fit into their lifestyles (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 185). Less people believe that marriage is something that should be done while transitioning into adulthood. More believe that it is something that should be done after the transition is complete and people are settled (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 187). On page 186 of the article, it says that “higher levels of education delay the timing of marriage”. In older centuries there were more cases of “shotgun weddings”. A shotgun wedding was referred to a wedding that was forced upon a couple due to a recent pregnancy. In the article it says that now we are more likely to see “shotgun cohabitation” but that people would not necessarily get married right away (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 186). Newer and younger generations have different ideas of what marriage is, compared to the older generations.
In my further research I found a lot of the same information that I read in the first article. Things like people who cohabit are less likely to marry and these people are less likely to agree on future plans. People who are more educated and career focused are more likely to cohabit although poorer people are not more likely to marry. Economics is another reason why some may remain unmarried.
Not only do people who are younger think differently of marriage. Now even some dictionaries have changed their definitions of marriage (see in one of the links below). People are holding marriage off until later on in life for several reasons but this does not mean that marriage is at a risk of disappearing. Many people still believe in marriage and one of the main reasons why people wait so much longer to get married is the fact that people are respecting matrimony and they do not want to go through the divorce process. Making them take more time to make a relationship work out.
http://live.washingtonpost.com/onlove-pitfalls-of-cohabitation.html
http://www.jimgilliam.com/2006/11/changing_the_definition_of_marriage.php
“Cohabitation” by Lynne Casper and Suzanne Bianchi discusses the increasing trend of couples living together but not becoming married. Some observers argue that the increase in cohabitation has eroded commitment to marriage and traditional family life (Casper and Bianchi 161). The reading does not argue for or against this, instead it provides details about how cohabitation is increasing and why. They point out that their research shows that more young couples today are likely to begin their relationships in cohabitation rather than marriage (Casper and Bianchi 164). They list a variety of reasons for this, including uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation, the availability of birth control and the weakening of religious constraints on individuals family decisions. They also point out that cohabitation is more common in couples who do not follow “traditional” gender roles. Married couples are “suppose” to have a bread-winning husband and a home keeping wife. Cohabitation moves away from this, where couples seek an even relationship (Casper and Bianchi 167). However, they conclude that even in this increasing trend, it will never replace marriage as the prominent form of living (Casper and Bianchi 169).
“Marriage is More than Being Together” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg and Laura Napolitano looks at the meaning of marriage about young adults in the United States. They survey a large group of young adults and ask them a series of questions about their thoughts on marriage. They come to many conclusions. First, some people do not associate love into the marriage equations. They want to marry their best friends, and love develops after (Kefalas et al 176). They also categorize people into two groups, marriage planners and marriage drifters. Marriage planners have marriage as a life goal, but isn’t in their immediate future as they have more important things to worry about. The other group, marriage drifters, view marriage as a natural evolution of a relationship (Kefalas et al 177). The reading also talks about how people aren’t jumping at the first chance to get married anymore. Some wait until they have ground work set, such as advanced education and being financially stable (Kefalas et al 179). They conclude by saying that this generation’s hesitance towards marriage should not be seen as a negative. It doesn’t show their distain for marriage, rather their reverence for it. If they did not treasure it, they would jump at it and when it failed they would just move on. They do not want it to fail, so they wait (Kefalas et al 187).
I personally would put myself into the marriage planner category defined by Kefalas. I’ve always figured I’d eventually get married, but I wouldn’t say its one of my immediate goals. I am still young so marriage is the last thing on my mind. I want to finish schooling and make sure to find the right person before even beginning to think about settling down. I wouldn’t consider myself a marriage drifter because they just wait around for marriage to happen. I will actively seek it when the time is right.
https://www.siena.edu/pages/6505.asp
The YouTube video posted above discusses the pros and cons about marriage and cohabitation.
Kefalas, Maria; Furstenberg, Frank; and Napolitano, Laura. “Marriage is more than being Together”. Allyn & Bacon. Boston, 2011.
Casper, Lynne and Suzanne Bianchi. “Cohabitation”. Allyn & Bacon. Boston, 2011.
The article “Cohabitation” discusses talks about different living arrangements and how it changed over time. Cohabitation is a word that is associated with partners of the opposite-sex. There has been a growth in cohabitation since the late 1900s. The article points out that cohabitation is starting to become a norm in our society because of, “increased uncertainty about the stability of a marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of belief systems” (Skolnick, 164).Before that time, marriage was the ideal step that leads a couple toward greater things such as living together and starting a family. That article states, “Some observers believe that the increase in cohabitation has eroded commitment to marriage and “traditional” family life” (Skolnick, 161). Married is valued in society as the “right” way to have a relationship and be able to behavior is certain ways to your spouse. I believe that cohabitation started because of the new college culture with students experimenting these living arrangements. Cohabitation has a relationship with how gender roles are viewed in society today. In the research, there are more egalitarian people cohabitating than traditional people. One statistic that I found interesting was that, “It is much more common in cohabiting than in martial relationships for the female partner to be older and better educated than her male partner”(Kolnick, 168). Cultures change within every generation and many people in older generations look at us as corrupt, but we are really not. I consider myself egalitarian because I do not follow what society feel is the right thing for women and men to do, but it’s about how I want to live my life. I support cohabitation because marriage is more than a piece of paper and rings. So, if two people are in sync with one another, why can’t they live together and have children without a ring or marriage “license”.
In the article, “Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States”, focuses the way young people see marriage. Compassionate marriage was seen as, “two people who merge their fortunes and their selves into a single identity to which their personal interest and needs would be subordinated” (Kolnick, 175). Young people who were interviewed in said they didn’t have the time to be in romantic relationships and marriage. Many societal factors influence the need to put marriage as a future goal in adult life rather than earlier. Some of these factors that come out of the article are personal and professional goals people need to achieve. Having a well-paying job requires more education and work experience therefore; individuals will be more focused on those goals. The following quote gives an explanation as to why people of the minority population tend to cohabitate more, “For those in the bottom two thirds of society, getting married has surely become more problematic, especially for those with very limited education and earnings” (Kolnick, 173). There is a distinction made between marriage planners and marriage drifters. Marriage planners saw marriage as a life goal they wish to achieve and marriage drifters see marriage “as a natural outcome of a relationship that has endured over a period of time” (Kolnick, 177). A number of young people feel that marriage is not significant until after the transition into adulthood and being able to be financially and emotionally supportive for a marriage. ‘
I found an interview on YouTube where college students were interviewed on their views of marriage. It points out the negative and positive issues in cohabitation.
The article, Cohabitation, by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, argues that cohabitation is a growing phenomenon in our society today. Cohabitation is when one lives with their intimate partner prior to marriage for a long period of time. On one hand, they say that the definition of being single is becoming less distinguished because the level of commitment is taken less serious—due to cohabitation. In addition, they believe that these relationships often result in separation. On the other hand, some couples live together with intentions of marrying someday, and indeed eventually do. Cohabitation has greatly influenced the decrease in remarriage and divorce rates.
Whether one has never been married, been in a divorce or separation— cohabitation is increasing all around. Authors ask the question; is cohabitation going to eventually substitute marriage in the future? They say no, a supporting statistic states that “1 out of 10 cohabitants believes that cohabitating relationships are a substitute for marriage” (169) Single women who get pregnant may move in with their partner, therefore the baby will essentially grow up with both parents in the household. The article compares racial and ethnic backgrounds, and concludes that black single women are less likely to live with their partner than any other race. In addition, the aticle also mentions gay and lesbian couples and their relevancy to cohabitation.
The article, Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among young Adults in the United States, by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano, argues that the timing of marriage has been greatly influenced due to our cultures alterations. These culture alterations include social class, community context, ethnic background and gender. The authors then then explain the a study consisting of “socioeconomically, racially, ethnically diverse groups,” between the ages of 22-38 years old. The participants were asked to answer a questionnaire, where the results were focused on a marriage and life transition section. The results conclude with the marriage seeming to complicate the relationship. With this complication, effort comes with the level of commitment. In other words, if one is fully committed to their relationship, they should be prepared to put in the effort deserved. Marriage could possibly complicate things, so it is worth waiting to make sure one has made the right decision.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-07-17-cohabitation_x.htm
This article discusses why couples choose to live together but do not want to get married right away. The author argues that cohabitation is replacing the dating scene. With answers from different point of views, some say they are simply not even ready to think about marriage yet.
http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/000302/cohabit.shtml
This article’s author, Linda Waite, argues that cohabitation is “forming unstable living arrangements that can have negative effects on their emotional, financial and sometimes physical well-being.”
Wrong link above..that is to the Chemistry Club webpage! (which I just finished making) This is the correct link.
In the article, “Cohabitation,” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, the authors discuss how living arrangements between peoples of the opposite sex has changed. Because of an increase in heterosexual cohabitation in the latter half of the 20th Century has led to delays in marriages and a significant increase in divorces (Casper & Bianchi, 161). The authors take a statement from a report titled “Should We Live Together? What Young Adults Need to Know About Cohabitation Before Marriage” that says “cohabiting unions tend to weaken the institution of marriage and pose clear and present dangers to women and children.” Even though these articles and reports point out the serious endangerment of cohabitation, it is an increasingly popular idea to teens and young adults. According to the authors’ chart (Figure 12.1) on page 163, both men and women (from various ethnic backgrounds) show significant increases in numbers of cohabits. The reason for such a great increase in cohabitation are due to a few factors such as uncertainty about the stability of a marriage, availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions (Casper & Bianchi, 164). According to the authors and their studies, cohabitation is not a safe or smart thing to do prior to a marriage. The question, “Will cohabitation replace marriage as the new norm?” still remains unanswered.
The second article, “Marriage is More Than Being Together,” by Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano, is an investigation on how young adults in America view marriage. The authors categorize teens into two separate groups based on their beliefs about marriage: the “marriage planners” and the “marriage drifters.” Marriage planners are the teens who “are inclined to regard marriage as a developmental process which progresses over time and is tested by real-life circumstances,” and marriage drifters “think of marriage as inevitable and a natural outcome of an early and untested relationship” (Kelfas, Furstenberg, Napolitano, 173). Married pessimists point to rising divorce rates, increased levels of cohabitation, the advent of gay marriage, non-marital childbearing and the fact that Americans spend fewer of their adult years married (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano, 173). The authors also discuss the change since the Romantic Era. During that time, it was important and a priority to marry and have a family. Now, however, the whole idea of “romantic love” has seemed to dissappear.
In the article Cohabitation By Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, the authors talked about how norm has shifted from couples living together after marriage to more unmarried couple’s cohabitating. Cohabitation is defines as “shaking up, living in sin, living together. Persons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters.” (161) This norm of living has “increased in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life to take place in the latter of 20th century” (161). More and more couples rather live together unmarried than to marry and then live together. However, that doesn’t mean that marriage is out of the picture, in fact “most adults in the United States eventually marry: 91% percent of women ages 45 to 54 in 1998 had married at least once and an estimated 88% of women in younger cohorts are likely to marry eventually” (161) It has become increasingly noticeable that couples are believing more in having personal freedom, less commitment to each other and commit more to themselves than each other. While marriage does not believe in these values, marriage is “a relationship between two people of opposite sexes that adhere to legal, moral, and social rules” (162). Cohabitation does not follow social rule, in fact it breaks the first rule in society; moving in with your partner after marriage. Nevertheless rules are norms are changing in relationships and many reason for these changes are “norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, the availability of reliable births control and weakening of religious and other normative constraint on individuals’ family decisions” (164). The change in view in younger generation has given people to be more open minded to cohabitation than just marrying. Nowadays adults “are more likely to believe that cohabitation and divorce are acceptable and less likely to believe that marriage is a lifelong commitment that was true in the past” (164) In overall, although cohabitation has become very popular norm in society “some cohabiters have definite plans to marry their partners and end up doing so. Only 1 in 10 cohabiters believe that cohabiting is a substitute for marriage.” (169)
In “Marriage is More than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage Among Young Adults in the United States” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano, where they cover about how marriage has been deteriorating in the last decades. In fact “marriage pessimists point to rising divorce rates, increased levels of cohabitation, the advent of gay marriage, nonmarital childbearing and the fact that Americans spend fewer of their adult years married” (173) is evidence of the decline in marriage. Many young people are beginning to believe that marriage is not the right choice or at least those that want to marry to wait until they have a stable job. Others “couples appear to be more discerning about whether marriage will indeed improve their economic and social fortunes” (173) without the improvement many couples are leaning to other choices such as not marrying at all or waiting. In marriage the men was always viewed to be in charge of things there was a sort of “hierarchy within marriages that is no longer widely shared by most of the young people” (175). Couples, especially woman have become more independent over the years, in fact most young couple believe in sharing responsibility. They also realize that “being married meant you were an adult, today you have to be an adult to be married” (177), more and more young adults have realize the responsibility and commitment marriages bring and it also holds back couples from getting ready, not quite sure if they can deal with such commitment. Nowadays however, it is noticeable that there are two types of couples those that are “college educated delay marriage and childbearing, less-educated young adults put off marriage, but not always children” (186). There seem to be a gap between those that are educated and those that are less educated in their view in marriage, the less educated are likely to have children but not get married, not ready for commitments. However, the other group that strive for higher education put off marriage and children until they are ready to take on the responsibility both marriage and children bring. In overall, views about not getting married and living together, and the burden that marriage brings have somewhat deteriorated marriages in the growing generations. In addition, “many adults no longer regard marriage as an event that needs to occur during the transition to adulthood” (187)
Research shows that “Marriage rates are at their lowest in the past century” (http://www.nber.org/digest/nov07/w12944.html). In this article it talks about how marriage have been deteriorating, however divorce was is least likely with less couple getting married. It also talks about how “marriage today is less prevalent among young adults but more prevalent among older adults, and that people are waiting longer to get married. In the mid-1950s, for example, the median age of men getting married was 23. Today, it’s 27. Also, people over 65 are just as likely to be married today as people between 16 and 65.” (http://www.nber.org/digest/nov07/w12944.html) Which shows that less couples are getting married younger than back in the days. In fact marrying young is bad, “According to the National Center for Health Statistics, about 60 percent of couples who marry between 20 and 25 are destined for divorce.” (http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/sc-fam-0513-young-married-20100513,0,870347.story) . This article talks about that young couples are not ready for the responsibility y that marriage brings and what it bring is divorce. As a matter of fact “50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, 60 percent of all couples who marry between 20 and 25 divorce.” (http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/sc-fam-0513-young-married-20100513,0,870347.story
In the first article “Cohabitation” by Casper a Bianchi is about the rising trend of unmarried couples not only moving in with each other, but also have children and how these affects on family life and if the idea of a “traditional” family is becoming less popular. Some of the possible reasons for Cohabitation instead of marriage can be place on the possibility of recent major changes in important American traditional lifestyle.
“ Sexual relations before marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions, seem to be ending the taboo against living together without marrying.” – (Casper and Bianchi 164)
An even larger reason that America is having more Cohabitation relationships is because of the rise in educational opportunities for individuals (in particular women) and the desire for personal freedom and achievement before marriage.
“ American values have shifted from those favoring family commitment and self-sacrifice to those favoring self-fulfillment, individual growth, and personal freedom.” – (Casper and Bianchi 164)
The reading then continues on with comparing Cohabitation to Marriage and discusses some of the benefits and disadvantages of the two. Some common trends in couples who prefer Cohabitation is self satisfaction through career and educational achievements come first before settling down and starting family lives (if that is even desired) that break the “stereotypical” family.
“Evidence suggests that cohabitation may attract individuals who value more egalitarian, less specialized, gender roles. Gender-differentiated roles are not absent from cohabitation unions…yet research has found that cohabiting relationships endure longer when partners’ employment patterns and earnings are more similar than different.” – (Casper and Bianchi 167)
The article also talks about how cohabitation has served as a way for couples figuring out if a marriage could work out in the long run. It was found that most cohabited couples plan on marrying at some point and only one out of ten feel that it is a substitute for marriage. However it was stated in the article that most cohabited relationships that eventually lead to marriage, end in divorce.
““Finally, although one might think that couples’ living together before or instead of marrying should make marriages more stable, because partners can discover irreconcilable differences before they tie the knot, one of the strongest findings is that those who cohabit prior to marriage divorce more often then those who do not.” – (Casper and Bianchi 170)
Although experts are still not sure what the reason for this could be, most believe that it might be the possibility that cohabiting couples are already comfortable with the idea of divorce to begin with when entering the marriage.
The second passage “ Marriage Is More Then Being Together”, talks about how marriage has changed in society and how it differs by race, region and religion. Another large reason for the way society views marriage is the threat of divorce and accepting that marriage is a life commitment and do not want to risk their chance to thrive as individuals.
“Undoubtedly for many educated middle- and upper-class young men and women, delaying marriage until personal and professional goals are achieved is a rational response given the reality of what is currently required to qualify for a well-playing and stable job.” – (Kefalas, Furstenburg, Napolitano 173)
The two points this article points really hits is that a lot of people stress a “fear” In being to emotionally dependent and grounded by their significant other and that is it no longer necessary to be married to feel you have reached adulthood. “When young people do talk about love and marriage, they do not want to be under the spell of “out-of-control romantic love”. – (Kefalas, Furstenburg, Napolitano 176) This idea that marriage is settling down and no longer about only yourself has caused many individuals now to either pre-long or not even consider marriage for the sake of a better economical career and individuality.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-07-17-cohabitation_x.htm
In the article Cohabitation by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi, the rise of cohabitation is discussed. Cohabitation is described as “persons of the opposite sex sharing living quarters” (Casper and Bianchi 163). Those who are cohabitors are not married. Cohabitation was not popular in the past, nor was it accepted at first. The increase in cohabitation just began towards the end of the twentieth century. Cohabitation is by no means a replacement of marriage. Only 1 in 10 cohabitors believes that the cohabiting relationship is a substitute for marriage (Casper and Bianchi 169). Cohabitation and marriage are actually very similar. Both contain coresidence; emotional, psychological, and sexual intimacy; and some degree of economic interdependence (Casper and Bianchi 162). However, the relationship between two people of a marriage and cohabitation are different. There are many factors that we see in a cohabited relationship that we don’t usually see in a marital relationship. For example, in cohabited relationships it is common that the woman is older and more educated. Also, “the couples tend to be more egalitarian in terms of their labor force participation and earnings” and both persons are typically employed (Casper and Bianchi 168). In marital relationships, the man is usually older, more educated, and the main provider. Most marriages today begin in a cohabited relationship first. However, the more time a woman spends in cohabited relationships, the more likely she is to get pregnant with her unmarried partner (Casper and Bianchi 166). There are many reasons why people chose to live in a cohabited relationship. Cohabiting tends to be an experimental period. The people in the relationship may not be ready to make the commitment of marriage, they want to make sure they’re compatible, they’re focusing on personal goals, they had a child together before marriage, etc. This link lists more reasons why people chose to cohabit without being married. http://www.unmarried.org/cohabitation-f.a.q.html?gclid=COGG4KeA06sCFQi87QodUTFTcg These reasons may seem like a good idea but it’s been found that those who cohabit prior to marriage divorce more often than those who do not (Casper and Bianchi 170). For more information, this article from USA Today talks about how cohabitation is changing and reshaping the landscape of family and social life. http://www.usatoday.com/life/lifestyle/2005-07-17-cohabitation_x.htm
In Marriage Is More Than Being Together by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano, we see receive different views and meanings of marriage. The different views and meanings of marriage are expressed to us by a variety of people who were interviewed. In this article it is discussed that marriage is steadily declining as a social institution. Some believe that his is untrue and that the changes occurring are merely a shift in the meaning and function of marriage (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 173). For youth today, there are two categories under which they may fall; depending on their views. The first group is the “marriage planners.” The “marriage planners” are inclined to regard marriage as developmental process which progresses over time and is tested by real-life circumstances (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 173). A majority of people fall in to this category and are usually from an urban or suburban setting. The smaller group is the “marriage drifters”. “Marriage drifters” think of marriage as inevitable and a natural outcome of an early and untested relationship (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 173). Marriage used to be seen as romantic and compassionate, but now things have changed. Marriage has become more individualistic; people want their own space and freedom within the marriage. Marriages are wanted to be more on a friendship level rather than a romantic level. On the romantic level, the youth see communication as awkward rather that relaxed and comfortable life friendship. Another modern characteristic of marriage is being comfortable knowing one another (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 179). In the past being married meant you were an adult, today you have to be an adult to be married (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 177). Today there is the idea of the marriage mentality. The marriage mentality is accepting the norm of exclusivity for marital relationship and embracing life-altering responsibilities the status of wife or husband demands (Kefalas, Furstenberg, and Napolitano 179). When you are ready for marriage you feel ready to make this transformation. Today, people are more hesitant about making the commitment of marriage. For “marriage planners, they must first figure out their life individually and make sure that they themselves are set, and their partner as well. They take time to make sure that their partner is “the one.” They want to get married but they are not sure when they will and when they will even be ready. “Marriage planners” are mostly likely to get married later in life. This article talks about times have changed and people are waiting longer to get married. http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=65 The “marriage drifters” see marriage as a natural outcome and are more likely to get married sooner. Marriage to the youth of today is perceived much differently than it was in the past.
The article “Cohabitation” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi dealt with how cohabitation is affecting marriage. According to the article, “Marriage used to be the demographic event that almost exclusively marked the formation of a new household, the beginning of sexual relations, and the birth of a child,” (Casper 162). The article also mentioned how cohabiting and marital relationships have much in common including: “coresidence; emotional, psychological and sexual intimacy; and some degree for economic interdependence,” (162). Even though there are similarities there are also differences between the two including the fact marriage “is a social institution that rests upon common values and shared expectations for appropriate behavior within the partnership,” as opposed to cohabitation which isn’t (162). Factors that increase cohabitation include: “increased uncertainty about the stability of marriage, the erosion of norms against cohabitation and sexual relations outside of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions,”( 164). The article also mentioned that “evidence suggest that cohabitation may attract individuals who value more egalitarian, less specialized, gender roles,” (167). Even though cohabitation is increasing, only one out of 10 cohabitors believe that cohabitation is a substitute for marriage (169).
The article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage Among Young Adults in the United States” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg and Laura Napolitano discussed whether or not the meaning of marriage has changed and whether it is in trouble, as in whether it is declining. Marriage in fact hasn’t declined but people are taking a longer time to get married. For example most people are waiting till their personal and professional goals are reached before getting married (Kefalas 173). The article also mentioned that the “extension of schooling beyond the teen years, the liberalization of sexual behavior, the availability of reliable methods of contraception, changing gender roles, the threat of divorce, and the option to remain single are but a few of the significant influences affecting the timing and attractiveness of marriage,” (173).
In the website, Familyfacts.org, there were many different things that were being said about the difference between marriage and cohabitation. These facts include: cohabitating couples are more likely to separate and not reconcile than married couples; and partners who cohabitate experience more alcohol and depression problems than married couples (Familyfacts.org).
Even though I do believe in marriage, from my point of view I don’t see as many people getting married as I used to. Many people are first living with their partner and then either they break up, stay living together without getting married or get married. In my case, it would all depend on how my relationship is with my partner and whether I feel I would rather live with him and not get married or get married first. My parents never got married so I don’t really see it as something that has to get done in my life either; if I were to get married, personally, it would be more because of the wedding itself.
References:
Textbook: Casper & Bianchi, Cohabitation, p 161-172
Textbook: Kefalas, Furstenberg, & Napolitano, Marriage Is More Than Being Together, p. 172-189
Familyfacts.org. http://www.familyfacts.org/briefs/9/cohabitation-vs-marriage-how-loves-choices-shape-life-outcomes
The article “Cohabitation” by Lynne Casper and Suzanne Bianchi deals with the relatively new idea of couples living together before marriage. In our society, this part of a relationship is becoming more and more widespread, and more couples are choosing to live together before marriage, if they decide to marry at all. Over time, social perceptions of marriage have changed. Marriage used to represent “the formation of a new household, the beginning of sexual relations, and the birth of a child” (Casper, Bianchi, 162). However, now that more couples are choosing to live together before marrying, the line as to what constitutes a family is blurred, and marriage may represent only a legal institution as opposed to one that is crucial to starting a family. However, most studies are finding that “cohabitors are also more accepting of divorce” (Casper, Bianchi, 167). While many couples who choose cohabitation eventually marry, they are more open to the idea of divorce if things do not work out as expected or planned.
The second article, “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano, discusses the changes that marriage has undergone in society, both in how it is perceived and how it functions. Marriage is no longer seen as the start of a family and adult life. Rather, “today you have to be an adult to be married” (Kefalas, Furstenburg, Napolitano, 177). This means that more young adults are putting off marriage in order to make a career first before they consider “settling down.” Marriage is also perceived differently. With the liberalization of sexuality and more couples choosing to live together before getting married, marriage is seen more as a legal commitment as opposed to a partnership for the rest of a person’s life, because, for example, couples who live together often share many of the same traits of married couples, without the binding of marriage.
Personally, I do not feel that the idea of cohabitation has a negative effect on marriage. To me, it makes sense that young couples are waiting to get married until they are older and have gotten started in their respective careers. Marriage to me is not something rigid and unable to adapt. It’s something that changes as needed to fit the changing lives of the couples getting married. If that means that marriage is being put off in favor of finding jobs and becoming financially stable, then that’s not a bad thing. It’s simply a necessary change. Likewise, cohabitation may soon become a necessary step on the way to marriage for a young couple. If they feel that living together would be helpful to their relationship, then they should live together. Ultimately, it is between the couple what is best for their relationship, but I think that marriage is something that changes to suit each couple uniquely, not something that couples need to conform to.
Casper, Lynne and Suzanne Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family In Transition. 16th ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2010. 161-72. Print.
Kefalas, Maria, Frank Furstenburg, and Laura Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together.” Family in Transition. 16th ed. Boston: Allyn & Bacon, 2010. 161-72. Print.
The three authors of this article delve into marriage changes within the United States. They acknowledge that some experts say that marriage itself is beginning to die out, where in areas that are urbanized and poorer, single parenting rates tend to be highest. Others say that changing conditions have heavily influenced the role and significance that it plays in young people’s lives. (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 3) “The extension of schooling beyond teen years, the liberalization of sexual behavior, the availability of reliable methods of contraception, changing gender roles, the threat of divorce, and the option to remain single are but a few of the significant influences affecting the timing and attractiveness of marriage” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 3)
The authors covered what relationships are now like in the “post-romantic era” which, they label as being around half a century ago. While the focus back then was being one single unit, today’s youth is seeing marriage as being both an individual and conjoined unit. In today’s society, more emphasis is placed on the individuals goals, which marriage must allow for. (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 5-6)
Marriage also does not hold the same status as it once may have. “Marriage, once the master status from which all the other milestones of adulthood were achieved, is now something young people are only prepared to do once they feel settled into adult roles.” (Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano 7)
In a journal being done by Casper & Bianchi, the two authors struggle to define what “Cohabitation exactly is. Because their findings were published in the year 2000, cohabitation may have not been as popular as it is now. Both authors acknowledge that it was not until the year 1990 that the US census gave the option for people to choose their household living option as being an unmarried partner. The authors also recognized at the time that tracking the rates of cohabitation are very difficult, because it only began 30 years ago (which today would be 40 years ago.) Interestingly, the authors did however find that cohabitation had already began to delay the age at which people were getting married and countered the increased divorce rates. (Casper & Bianchi 14-15)
Casper & Bianchi “American Families” DEC 2000 14-18 Print
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.”,SEPT 2005. 1-20 Print.
The reading, “Cohabitation” by Lynne M. Casper and Suzanne M. Bianchi first states that although cohabitation can refer to same-sex couples; the demographic research in this article is more focused on the relationships between opposite-sex couples (Casper and Bianchi 161). “The increase in heterosexual cohabitation that has accompanied the delay in marriage and increase in divorce is one of the most significant changes in family life to take place in the latter half of the 20th century. Some observers believe that the increase in cohabitation has eroded commitment to marriage and the “traditional” family life (Casper and Bianchi 161). Cohabitation became a nationally recognized during the late 1960s and early 1970s (Casper and Bianchi 163).
Unlike cohabitation, the “traditional” family life included couple’s living together, having sexual relations, and having children not before, but after marriage. (Casper and Bianchi 161). The reading goes further into discussing the similarities and differences between cohabitation and marriage. The similarities include, “co residence, emotional, psychological, and sexual intimacy; and some degree of economic interdependence” (Casper and Bianchi 162). The differences are very important though in that they include a relationship between two people of opposite sexes that adhere to “legal, moral, and social rules, a social institution that rests upon common values and shared expectations for appropriate behavior within the partnership” (Casper and Bianchi 162).
The reading also focuses on the affect cohabitation has on the development and well being of children born into these relationships. For example, “children born to unmarried couple have a higher risk of experiencing their parents’ separation than do children born to married couples. The ties that bind fathers to their children may also be weaker in cohabiting than in marital relationships: After parents separate, children whose parents never married see their fathers less often and are less likely to be financially supported by their fathers than are children born to married parents” (Casper and Bianchi 166).
“Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States” by Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano starts by stating the thesis that “even though marital instability, single parenthood and non marital child-bearing tend to be concentrated among the most economically disadvantaged, urban populations, there is growing concern that these trends are spreading to other segments of American society. Marriage pessimists point to rising divorce rates, increased levels of cohabitation, the advent of gay marriage, non marital childbearing, and the fact that Americans spend fewer of their adult years married as evidence of the steady and seemingly inexorable decline of marriage as a social institution” (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 172-73).
This reading discusses the psychological aspects of relationships passed the romantic stage. Like a rollercoaster, the ups and downs of relationship are evident even after marriage. In the end, the ideal marriage should “share a similar outlook” (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 177).
This article also discusses the development of relationships into marriage. There are two groups, the marriage planners and the marriage drifters (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 177). Marriage planners see marriage as one of the many outcomes in the development of their lives but it is not the only outcome that must occur immediately. As for marriage drifters, marriage is faster and occurs at a younger age (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 179). The strongest differences in young people’s expectations for marriage were by region. Marriage planners remain a part of the urban and suburban lower working class as the upper class; well educated regions are more of the marriage drifter type (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 187).
The article discusses how the role of children in unmarried families is affected among different social classes. The college graduates are more likely to delay childbearing while the less educated relationships do not always put off having children (Kefalas, Furstenberg and Napolitano 186).
Unlike “Marriage is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States,” relevant research including graphs comparing cohabiters with married and single people, examining how cohabiters view themselves is included in the “Cohabitation” reading (Casper and Bianchi 162). Then they discuss what this means for the future of marriage life and family in the United States.
Both readings agree that cohabitation has risen so much primarily because of an increased uncertainty about the instability of marriage, the availability of reliable birth control, and the weakening of religious and other normative constraints on individuals’ family decisions. These seem to be “ending the taboo against living together without marrying” (Casper and Bianchi 164).
Another similarity between the readings is that although the first article does not use the terms “marriage planner” and “Marriage drifter” they agree marriage drifters feel that individual freedom is more important than marriage (Casper and Bianchi 167).
Below are two different approaches to the favoring of the “traditional” family. Both commercials have a comedic approach to the idea that marriage before living together is best.
This video shows a group of men discussing the benefits of living together over marriage.
Works Cited:
Kefalas, Furstenberg, Napolitano. “Marriage Is More Than Just Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 172-188 Print.
Casper, Bianchi. “Cohabitation.” Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson/Allyn and Bacon, 2009. 161-70. Print
These two videos show the negative affects cohabitation may have on the relationship.
In the article, “Cohabitation,” Casper and Bianchi define cohabitation to be different living arrangements among opposite sex partners. However, as cohabitation increases, the value and solidarity of marriage is changing as well. “Cohabitating unions tend to weaken the institution of marriage and pose clear and present dangers to women and children” (Casper and Bianchi 161). In society, marriage is viewed as the most important traditional event, constituting the foundation for a new beginning with a new relationship, home, and family. However, younger adults are more willing to cohabit, and currently the large majority of couples marrying formerly lived together. The reasons for this specific trend include shifting standards for younger generations and financial benefits of cohabitation. Also, because of increased divorce rates, many young couples are hesitant about getting into marriage too quickly and want to have the experience and benefits of an intimate relationship without committing to marriage just yet.
In comparing and contrasting cohabitation and martial relationships, they both display emotional, psychological, and sexual, and economic aspects within the household. However, they differ in that marriage represents the relationship between two people of the opposite sex that complies to legal, moral, and social rules and compromises on shared values and expectations from one partner to the other.
The increased trends of cohabitation indicate that about 16% men who cohabit are college graduates and the rate for women has risen from 13% to 17% just in a decade. However, these results don’t just apply to early adulthood, almost 50% of men and 40% of women cohabitated in the mid-30’s and older. These increasing trends of cohabitation result in an increasing number of births to cohabiters. “Cohabitating women who become pregnant have become a little less likely to marry before birth, and single women who become pregnant have become more likely to move in with the father of the child rather than remain single or marry” (Casper and Bianchi 166). This situation brings a focus on how the child will be affected by the martial status of his or her parents, issues such as experiencing separation of their parents and financial instability. Therefore, while cohabitation has increased rapidly, the effects of cohabitation on the institution of marriage differ among the partners’ viewpoints.
In the article “Marriage Is More Than Being Together: The Meaning of Marriage among Young Adults in the United States,” Maria Kefalas, Frank Furstenberg, and Laura Napolitano discuss changing perceptions of marriage over time. The commitment and institution of marriage and how it is valued has been weakening due to an array of reasons including contraceptive use, apprehension of marrying that will result in divorce and/or single parenting, and childbearing delays. According to Kefalas, marriage is perceived as a life goal and people want to be mentally, emotionally, and financially prepared to build a foundation with their significant other. This is a group called marriage planners. In comparison, those who view marriage as a natural outcome of a relationship that has endured over a period of time are people known as marriage drifters (Kefalas 177). People have different opinions about marriage and when it should occur. Many people have to transition to a strong independent role to know if they are mentally and financially prepared, and stable, in case the marriage was to go wrong. It takes a series of commitments to make the ultimate commitment of marriage.
This video addresses the pros and cons, and issues of marrying, versus just living together because of a child or choosing not to marry. They believe one shouldn’t marry only because you share a child and/or property. The video explains that you can’t always avoid possibilities of what might happen, whether good or bad, and instead to try to agree on what both partners want out of the relationship and move on from there to the same or a different status.